I'd like about 5 more hours in a day, thankyouverymuch

No really, I would.

I need more hours in a day.

I need my days to be about 29 hours.
Give or take an hour or two.

I have found that I don't have enough time to get things done.

Case in point - my laundry from last week is still sitting in a pile on my hope chest in my bedroom. My laundry from this week? It is in the laundry basket in the laundry room.

Yes, I realize that this is horrid housekeeping and I make no excuses. Other than, I run out of time every single day. I feel accomplished when I get Olivia's and Emma's laundry hung up and folded for the week. (And on the weeks I don't 'accomplish' that, it all goes back in the wash. With that week's "new" dirty clothes.)

Oh my gosh.
I'm totally airing my dirty laundry.
Right here.
On my blog.

Oh crap.

So there you have it.
I suck at laundry.
I'm a horrible housekeeper apparently.
It appears that my kids are lucky to have clean clothes every week.

While I'm confessing, I might as well address dinner.
I made pancakes for dinner on Monday.
And then on Tuesday we had take out.
And on Thursday we had Little Caesar's 'hot and ready' pizza.
Because I didn't want to cook.

Wow.
Apparently I also suck at the whole 'cooking for my family' thing too.

I realize I had SO MUCH MORE time to do everything I needed to do (laundry, cooking, washing the hardwood floors, watering my flowers) when I wasn't working. And it's not like The Job is a full-time gig either. I'm only at the office 24 (very long, tedious, horrid) hours every week.

That gives me two days a week when I DO have time to get stuff done.
But it seems there is always MORE to get done.
More laundry.
More cooking.
More paying the bills
More Swiffering dog hair off the hardwood floors. (Every. Single. Day.)

And quite frankly, I'm tired.
Very tired.*
And no, I don't want to fold laundry at 8 o'clock at night.

I used to have the whole bill paying thing on a schedule.
I have been a bit forgetful lately.
I've had to pay some bills online at the last minute because I FORGOT to mail them in time.
Don't even get me started on this blog.
Dear blog, I am so sorry for neglecting you. For an entire week.

Holy crow.

I am a train wreck.
I'm unorganized.
I'm stressed.
I've got more gray hair than ever before.
My day planner needs a day planner.

I think I need to relax.
Breathe.
Calm down.
And realize that I am NOT supermom.
Nor will I ever be supermom.
Sometimes the laundry won't get folded. And we will have breakfast for dinner.
And I might even skip a day of Swiffering. Maybe.
I can't do it all.

But, Olivia told me today that I'm "the best mom ever" and well, that's good enough for me.
Laundry be damned.


*And no, I am not asking for sympathy here. I'm merely venting. On my blog. That's it. Nothing more. Nothing less.

A true story about ER visits, poop and Twitter

Friday night started out like any other night at our house - you know, thunderstorms and the kids sleeping on the couches in the living room. Just a typical Friday night in T-town.

Once the storms settled down, we tried to put the girls back in their own beds. Olivia - who never woke up during the storms - was an easy 'put down.' Emma...not so much.

Around 10 p.m., Emma started complaining that her belly hurt. We thought at first that maybe she was hungry, because she often says 'my tummy hurts' when she wants to eat. So, we tried some applesauce. And then some graham crackers. She didn't want anything.

We tried to get her to sleep - but every time she would fall asleep she would wake up 10 minutes later, screaming and crying 'my belly hurts!'

At about midnight we decided to call the on-call nurse. We told her the symptoms and she said it might be appendicitis. She wanted us to make Emma jump up and down (one of the tests for appendicitis, apparently). Emma refused.

The nurse said she would recommend we take Emma to the ER because based "it's better to be safe than sorry."

Oh man.

And so at 2 a.m. Kevin strapped a crying and screaming Emma into the carseat and headed to the emergency room.

I stayed at home with Olivia (who was sound asleep and had no clue what was going on).

Unable to sleep and totally freaking out, I signed on to Twitter.

I was hoping that maybe one or two people I knew would be online so I could talk and not go crazy with worry at home alone. (It wasn't like I could call anyone either -- calling people at 2 a.m. for an ER visit and no diagnosis is not a great idea - all you do is (1) wake up your family members and (2) freak them out so they can't get back to sleep).

So, I tweeted out at 2:14 a.m. - well, DH is taking DD3 to the ER. she is crying and in pain and we don't know why. on call doc hasn't called us back.

I didn't know if anyone was 'listening' but soon enough, I was getting tweets sent back to me from several of my Twitter friends. I am so thankful for the words tweeted out to me that night. I had people asking my questions about Emma's pain and her temperature. They were sending out words of care and concern and it was all appreciated.

For about an hour I tweeted back and forth with the following people: @Lynne_from_Texa, @DisneyAlli, @discollegeblog, @IAmPumpkinQueen, @5minutesformom, @DisneyWorlds.

And to all of you, I want to say this: Thank you.

I had a place to go in the middle of the night when I was freaking out and didn't want to wake anyone up with a phone call that said "I don't know what is going on"...and my people were out there for me. I was able to say "I'm going a bit crazy and I'm here all alone and will anyone listen" and you listened.

And for that I am very grateful.

After about an hour, I was calm enough by 3:45 a.m. that I was able to go to bed for a short time, and then I woke up in a total panic because Kevin hadn't called.

Of course, I started panicking. WHY hadn't he called? What was going on? I paced the house for a few minutes and then, at 5:45 a.m. I called Kevin and he told me that Emma didn't have appendicitis (no, she was just constipated*....of course, because it's always about the poop, right?) and they were driving down our street, coming home.

I tweeted out the good news that she was home and healthy (and just needed to have a good poop, really)...and I would like to thank everyone who took a minute to say "so happy to hear that Emma was OK." You have no idea how much those tweets of 140 characters or less mean to me.

Yes, this time (thankfully!) the "emergency" wasn't anything more than a lot of poop ... but I think it's fair to say that if it had been something more serious, my Twitter community would have been there for me - and it's nice to know that there is an outlet for my anxiety in the middle of the night.

You might not 'get' it, but after 11,359 tweets, I can honestly say that I still love Twitter.
And to my 511 followers I say this - thank you for being there.


*(We determined that Emma was 'holding it in' for fear of going potty in her PullUp -- yet another issue with the on-going potty training drama in my house!)

Olivia, the putting princess

Today, Olivia worked on putting.
She had the 'winning putt' for her team
in the putting contest!
I think she could teach me a thing or two.

Last week, Olivia learned the basics of
hitting the golf ball - swinging, proper stance, etc.
She had some really great swings!
I think we have a real golfer on our hands!

(sorry about the quality of these pics....they're from my BlackBerry)

For all my friends with the new iPhone

(and no, i don't have 'phone envy', i am quite happy with my blackberry....but i know how much you iPhone people LOVE your phones..so this post is just for you!)

Just another Monday

Today was a "Monday" - in every sense of the word.

And yes, I realize that me "having a Monday" on a Monday is not all that strange.

My new motto is "just keep swimming."
Just like Dory in Finding Nemo.
I am going to just keep swimming.

Today was yet another totally strange day at The Job.

I was thinking of going for some sort of record today at the office. I was going to see how long I could go without talking to anyone.

Now this 'quest for silence' wasn't because I was being rude.
Nope, it's just that people at my office seem to exist in their own little 'bubbles' and it's rare when there is more than that compulsory 'good morning' going on.

My 'day of silence' was going swimmingly until someone called me at 3 p.m. to ask me if I knew where something was located on the hard drive. (Because you know, after six weeks on the job I should know where a file I've never used/heard of would be located, right? Yeah. Right.)

I e-mailed Kevin today to "complain" about The Job and his response was "Well, you're not going to be there forever and at least now you know how the LOST people felt on the island."

That made me laugh.

But I suppose I am lost on a not-so-deserted-but-very-quiet island in the middle of nowhere, trying to find my way 'home'. Thankfully there are no rogue polar bears or cranky Smoke Monsters roaming the halls. Yet.

And I often feel like Desmond, trapped in the hatch - but instead of spending my days typing in not-so-random numbers, I am typing in not-so-meaningful words that other people are rewriting without my input. But I digress.

In my 'flash sideways' scenes I am working at job that I love and doing something that makes me happy and I am no longer dreading the hours of 8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. three days a week.

I am hoping that my 'flash sideways' soon becomes the reality.

Until then...I will just keep swimming.

Life lessons from kindergarten

Tomorrow is Olivia's last day of school.
The end of kindergarten.
Oh my how time flies when you're having fun.

Her teacher sent home a note with all the students the other day ... and on this note were some lines from the book "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten" by Robert Fulghum. The teacher had changed it up a bit and made it more personalized for the students, but the lesson was still the same.

And it is such a simple lesson that I think many of us tend to forget it in the frantic, hectic craziness of every day life.

Everything you need to know about life you learned in kindergarten.

Think about it, won't you?

A few of the 'rules' of kindergarten, applied to life as we know it...

- Share everything - OK, simple enough. But I think it means more than just sharing your crayons or a pencils. Share yourself with people. You know, be a friend. Be supportive. Share your time and your wisdom and your friendship with others. They will thank you for it.

- Play fair - Don't cheat. Don't lie. Don't be deceitful. Play nice with others. Life is too short to do otherwise.

- Clean up your own mess - Yes, this means make your bed, clean your room and don't leave dirty dishes in the sink. But also - clean up YOUR OWN MESS. Don't expect others to do it for you. If you had the time to make the mess, then you certainly have the time to clean it up.

- Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody -This is a rare thing these days. And I think it goes hand-in-hand with cleaning up your own mess. In today's "always online" viral world it is SO EASY to hurt someone - intentionally or not - and yet, it seems to be so hard to say 'I'm sorry.' All it takes is 140 characters to damage a relationship IN AN INSTANT. Take the time to say "I'm sorry"...that only take 8 characters.

- Warm cookies and milk are good for you - Well, duh.

- When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together - Or, put more simply: friends are the glue that holds everything together. Without your friends and family you are one small fish in a really big pond. Hold hands, look both ways before you cross the street and stick together. We're all in this (crazy thing called life) together.

- Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Stryofoam cup - they all die. So do we - In other words, life is short. Why not enjoy it (and make it enjoyable) while you can?

It's all so very simple.

Share. Play fair. Don't hit people. Milk and cookies are good for us. We should all take an afternoon nap sometimes. Hold hands with your friends. Stick together. Life is short.


(The rules are from "All I Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten" by Robert Fulghum. The "in other words" were all mine)

You used to be much more muchier

I know, my blogging has been rather, um, spotty lately.

As in...I haven't been blogging.

At all.

It's just that, well, um.....OK, I have no valid excuses.

Other than this - I've been busy and life has been crazy and quite frankly I haven't had much to say.

I think I'm in a bit of a funk.

I watched 'Alice in Wonderland' again tonight (no, not the cartoon...this time...the Tim Burton version).
My favorite line is this - "you have lost your muchness".

I can relate to that.

I used to be much more muchier.
I think I may have lost some of my muchness.
And I haven't found it.
Yet.

I've been in a bit of a slump the last few weeks.

The job is not what I thought it would be. I'm not excited about it. (The fact that it is now a part-time job rather than the full-time job it was supposed to be is just the tip of the iceberg).

Emma is not adjusting to daycare - every day she asks if she can stay home with me. And she cries. Every. Single. Morning. If she's going to daycare, she's crying. It breaks my heart.

Also, I'm dealing with a strained neck.
(You will love this story.)
I fell at Disney World last month on our vacation. I mean, I FELL. Banged up my knee, broke my camera (sort of). It was ugly. (But, on the upside, I did catch the whole thing on film. Priceless.)

Since then, I've been dealing with serious neck pain...so five weeks after I fell, I decided to go see the doctor.
Diagnosis: Strained neck.
I'm now taking muscle relaxers and doing neck exercises so I can avoid physical therapy.
But if you've never had neck pain before, let me tell you ... it is horrid. Sitting at a computer all day, 3 days a week is so painful. I am hoping I heal soon.

Let's add this up:
Job that doesn't make the grade + unhappy kids + neck pain = stressed out mommy looking for her muchness.

Yep. Majorly funky here. And not in a good way.

So...when I'm in a funk, my writing suffers.
And when my writing suffers, this blog suffers.
And that makes me unhappy.

And there it is...in a nutshell.
Life is a bit crazy and messy right now.

However....

I have great friends who are helping me keep my chin up.
(Thank you to JL for reminding me that this year is MY year!)
And, I am still hoping to find my dream job.
When I do, I think I will once again find my "muchness".

Until then....I'm going to 'just keep swimming....'