You gotta have (work) friends....

Today was my "year end self assessment review" at The Job.

Yes, a self assessment.
I had to explain what I thought were my successes and challenges and then The Boss gets to rewrite the whole thing and tell me what SHE THINKS are my successes/challenges.
This should be interesting. We also get ranked on a scale of 1 to 3. "1" meaning you're horrible at your job and "3" meaning you'll be the next CEO.

Anyway...after focusing on my "challenges" (this place always has to focus on the negative), we got down to business.

The Boss asks if I've given any thought to our "conversation" from a couple weeks ago. I say "a little but not much." Which is sort of true. I've been thinking about it a lot ... but what I've been thinking probably shouldn't be repeated in a year end review.

I go on to tell her that I've talked to quite a few people at the office and they all seemed surprised when I ask if they like working with me (or if they just like me as a person). She says "it's not a question of whether or not people like you, the issue is that 'these people' don't want to work with you."

WHAT. THE. HECK.

So I ask who "these people" are. And she dodges the question.
Apparently - according to her - "the people" she's heard from don't want to confront me. Apparently I am terribly intimidating and scare people with the slightest look. HA!

OK...so if you have an issue with someone but have to work with them...wouldn't you walk into their office and say "let's talk"???? Yeah, me too. Which leads me to the conclusion that "the people" are made up, figments of her imagination, a total fantasy. I'm "the bad guy"....OK, whatever. Make me the office villain.

Then she says "we gave you the benefit of the doubt and thought maybe you're just an introvert who likes to work in her office, away from people, with the door closed...you know, maybe you keep people at an arm's length..."

At this point, it's all I can do to not laugh in her face.
Me? An introvert?
Clearly she and the regional director don't know me at all.
I'm so far from being an introvert.
hahahahhahahahaha

Anyway...she continues by telling me that they determined that maybe I'm not introverted, but I "put on an air of negativity" and that turns people off.

Yep, that's me.
A negative introvert.
Ooooh...I'm so scary.....

And now we get to the reason behind the title of this post.
I was told in no uncertain terms that there is NO REASON to have friends at work.
I mentioned that I do have friends at the office and I do like the people I work with and we all get along. And The Boss says "I don't see why you need to have friends at work."

I couldn't even come up with a good response other than "I don't see why you wouldn't want to have friends at work."

(I mean really...I couldn't make this up if I tried. These people are just absolutely inhuman and crazy).

Oh and my "review" ended with "well if you aren't happy here then you shouldn't be here." And my response? "I would have to agree with you."

And yet, here I am.
Still working for the devil's minions.
Still miserable.
Still waiting for the phone to ring with a better job offer.

Because when that day comes I will walk into that office with the biggest smile on my face and say "I quit."

That day can't come soon enough.

In search of more holiday cheer

So, last month the prez signed legislation that extended unemployment benefits "up to 14 additional weeks...for claimants in all states, and another 6 weeks of extended benefits for claimants in states such as Ohio with high unemployment rates." (From the ODJFS Web site).

And silly me, I thought this was a good thing.

What I failed to realize was that in order to benefit from this 'extension' you had to exhaust your current unemployment benefits before the end of this year.

Guess when mine run out?
January 3, 2010.

Yeah.

So, right now I will run out of unemployment benefits in two weeks and well, let's just say that is going to SCREW with the family budget.

I really feel like crying right now.

Now it's not as if I actually ENJOY collecting unemployment. I don't enjoy it. I'd rather be working and earning a paycheck. But this is the lot I was dealt and I'm trying to make lemonade from these lemons, blah blah blah. I am managing to budget things just so and we haven't really had to dip into our savings. Unemployment has been a good thing to have these last few months. Every little bit helps, you know.

But now, I wonder what we're going to do without that extra "little bit".
I was not stressing out (more than normal) a few hours ago.
And then I read all the details about the federal extension and well...now I have a huge knot in the pit of my stomach.

Just what I needed three days before Christmas.

According to the ODJFS, on Dec. 16th the House of Representatives approved a two-month extension for the federal benefits - however (and there's always a "however") they are now waiting to see IF the legislation passes the Senate. [My dad says it's on a 'fast track' to be passed and I should be OK -- but he's the optimist in the family. I see the glass as half-empty. Always.]

I swear, it's always something.

Humbug.

I GOT THE JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I GOT IT! I GOT IT! I GOT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As of the end of this month, I will be gainfully employed.

You have NO IDEA how happy I am about this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another update on "The JOB"

Received a call yesterday from the woman who would be my boss.

She wanted to give me an update on where things were in "the process."

Here's where things stand:

- She is on vacation the rest of this week.

- The dean is out all of next week.

- She is making her recommendation to the dean next week -- recommending that I GET THE JOB!

- Then, the dean has to approve.

- Then, either late next week or early the week after that I will formally be offered the job.

- So, unless the dean thinks I'm a complete moron, the job is MINE!!!


You have NO IDEA how much that phone call made my week, month, year.

Not that I'm a big believer in fortune cookies....

....but the message in my fortune cookie tonight was: "You will soon receive an offer you can't refuse."

Hmmmm...

This could mean:

a) I am going to get a job offer

or

b) I'm going to be meeting with The Godfather soon and he's going to make me an offer I can't refuse.

I'm hoping it's not that.

Or, it could just be the same fortune that thousands of other people got today too. :)

Job interview update #10,567

Had a second interview on Monday morning. It was 2 hours of questions with several different groups of people.

Got a call today - they want me back for another interview. This time it's with just one person - someone who missed my interview on Monday.

So...is this a good thing? As in -- the rest of the group really liked me and they want to give me the job but she won't vote until she meets me? OR.....

Is it a bad thing - as in...they all hated me and she's not sure until she meets me?

I HATE JOB INTERVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM SO STRESSED OUT!!!!!!!!!!

I really really really really want this job.

Freakin' hire me already!

Things that irk me, #8,965

OK, well I just discovered that I REALLY didn't get that job that I interviewed for on May 24th.

[Yes, I had pretty much resigned myself to that fact....but now I have actual proof].

I was reading the Toledo Free Press online and as I came to the end of the column I was reading it said "So-and-so is the public information officer for The XYZ Partnership". (I'm not using actual names here....because I don't feel like it).

I was not really shocked -- I had already assumed I didn't get hired -- but I am pissed off.

Seriously. HOW FREAKIN' HARD WOULD IT HAVE BEEN TO SEND ME A DAMN REJECTION LETTER?

I mean really. How unprofessional. How irritating.

I took time out of my day to go to their interview -- the LEAST they could do was take 5 minutes and send me a rejection letter.

I get that everyone is so busy these days. Guess what I'm busy too. But find the time in your oh-so-busy schedule to communicate with the people who interviewed with you. It's common courtesy if nothing else.

In a way, I'm glad I didn't get the job. I don't think I want to work for someone who can't manage just a little bit of professionalism and courtesy. I've been down that road before....not doing it again.

Job interview update #5,695

Job interview from 2 weeks ago: I have heard ABSOLUTELY NOTHING from these people. No rejection letter. No "you're hired".

N.O.T.H.I.N.G.

I think it's rather rude, actually. If they don't want to hire me, then please just send me the rejection letter and move on. If they are thinking of hiring me, I'd like to know that too.

I am about THISCLOSE to being done with them.

However.....

Just as I'm about to think that I am completely unemployable .... I have another job interview. This is for a different job than the one mentioned above. In all honesty, it is probably a better job. The phone interview is Monday morning.

Keep your fingers, toes, whatever crossed.

Job interview update

Still no word.

N.O.T.H.I.N.G.

They said they were making a decision this week.

This leads me to believe that a rejection letter is in the mail, headed my way.

Not happy at all.

Job interview update

Had the interview Friday afternoon.

Think it went OK.

I hate job interviews. I always second-guess myself --- Did I sound like a complete idiot? Did I say the right things? Are they looking at my like "what the hell are YOU doing here?" Should I have asked more questions?

UGH.

The thing I hate most is when they say "So, do you have any questions for us?" I'm thinking...well, let's see...you gave me all the info about the job, the job duties, the salary and compensation, why the job is vacant....um yeah, my only question is this: Will you hire me? Please?

But then I come up with some minor questions and then wonder if I made a complete ass of myself.

Anyway....I have "homework" to complete for this interview. I have to write a press release and a public relations timeline based on a one-page flier. It's due by 4 p.m. on Tuesday. The same day that I have to talk to the person in charge of the event to get more information for the press release. No pressure here.

Sometimes being a type-A personality perfectionist has its pitfalls. Sure, I could just type up a press release and do a half-assed job....but that's not who I am and that wouldn't get me the job. I have to do it right...and that means I have to do a mini-interview. Tuesday morning.

Oh, and they're making the final decision next week. ASAP.

I will update when I know more.

Finally!!!!

I have a job interview!

Yep, you read that right. Finally....someone thinks I just might be qualified to work for them.

I am so excited...you have no idea.

And, the bonus part - it's a great job and one that I think I would LOVE.

That's right.

I said L.O.V.E.

Interview is Friday at 2 p.m.

Will update on situation after that.

$173,901

See that number? That is what my salary would be if I got paid for being a stay-at-home mom.

Yep, I'm worth $173,901. [According to Salary.com, at least].

It's that time of year again -- Mother's Day is next weekend and so once again it's time to focus on what a stay-at-home mom would get paid if there was someone out there willing to pay us for all the work we do.

Salary.com has a "mom's salary calculator" where you can figure out how much you're worth and then print out a "paycheck" to prove it. [Yep. I printed mine out. It's going to hang on my 'fridge for all to see....just as a reminder, in case anyone forgets what I'm worth.]. And in case you dads are feeling left out, never fear --- there is a dad salary calculator too. [For the record, Kevin would be worth an extra $69,000 for all his "dad-related work".

My earnings statement breaks my "salary" down this way:
- For an entire year:
Housekeeper: Hourly rate - $9.84; Hours worked - 624
Day Care Center Teacher: Hourly rate - $12.68; Hours worked - 1040
Cook: Hourly rate - $12.96; Hours worked - 520
Computer operator: Hourly rate - $15.48; Hours worked - 416
Laundry machine operator: Hourly rate - $9.17; Hours worked - 312
Facilities manager: Hourly rate - $38.15; Hours worked - 312
Janitor: Hourly rate - $11.45; Hours worked - 260
Van Driver: Hourly rate - $14.97; Hours worked - 416
Physchologist: Hourly rate - $36.27; Hours worked - 260
Chief Executive Officer: Hourly rate - $ 170.04; Hours worked - 416

- Average hourly rate: $29.86; Hours worked: 2080
- Over time rate: $44.79; Hours worked: 2496

So there you have it.

I'm worth $173,901 as a mom.

Not that I am putting a value on my job as mom. It really is priceless.

[To read more, go here.]

Another resume, another rejection

The phone rings yesterday afternoon. I answer. The following is an unofficial transcript of the call.

Me: Hello?

Caller: Hi, this is so-and-so with "X" company. You sent me your resume last week for the Regional Director of Communications job.

Me: Yes I did.

Caller: OK. Well, um, you have a very interesting background with the journalism degree and a law degree. Why aren't you a lawyer?

Me: I didn't pass the bar exam and have decided to pursue a career in communications.

Caller: Oh. OK. So, you're teaching part-time now?

Me: Yes.

Caller: OK. It looks like most of your experience is with "XYZ" company as the director of association services? Why did you leave there?

Me: [lying thru my teeth] It was a mutual decision. I wanted to take an extended maternity leave and they needed to cut costs, so my job was eliminated due to budget reasons. [What I wanted to say was - my ex-boss was a complete asshole and he fired me because I was pregnant.].

Caller: OK. Well, I'm really looking for someone with more work experience. I think you'd be better suited to be a regional manager and report to the director. I'll keep your resume on file in case something opens up.

Me: OK, great. [What I wanted to say was: You want work experience? I have 12 years of experience on my resume. Oh and let's not forget the whole full-time mommy gig that I've got going on. You should see how I multi-task. I can change a poopy diaper while answering the phone. I can feed the baby while balancing the family budget. I can....well, anyway you get the picture.]

...and so, I've been rejected again. The search continues.....

This is why "anonymous" comments are now going to be blocked again...

OK, I was feeling generous for a while, allowing "anonymous" comments on this blog.

Sorry, no more.

This is a comment that was left today on the previous post for me to moderate: "Maybe if you were to finally pass the damn bar exam you'll get hired.. what the hell, you say you're smart but you still fail that damn bar exam...tsk tsk on you, keep the apron on."

Hey pal: Fuck you.

I doubt that you have any idea how difficult it is to pass the bar. Or how hard I've tried. Or how much blood, sweat and tears has gone into it. So until you understand what I've put into it, you really should keep your opinions to yourself. Keep the apron on? Nice slam on motherhood by the way.

And oh, by the way...I know you're posting from somewhere near Pensacola, FL and that you're a coward who hides behind the "anonymous" moniker.

And if you want to leave any more asshat comments on my blog, you'll have to leave your name too.

Jackass.

Thanks for your interest, but....

So, it's been almost 4 years since I had a full-time job. I used to be an association executive until my dickhead former boss fired me when I was 7-months pregnant because, well, he's an ass. [Actually, I think his official title is "Dickhead: King of the Asses"....but I digress].

After I was fired, I had a baby (Olivia). Then I got a part-time gig teaching journalism at a local community college. Then I decided to take the bar exam 2 more times (failing both times). Then I had another baby (Emma).

However, during that time I've been searching for a full-time job - or at least a better paying part-time job. (Yes, that's right...I've been searching for a new job for 3 1/2 years).

And apparently, I am unemployable.

Despite my best efforts - and my 2 college degrees - I can't even manage to get an interview, let alone a job.

I'm not writing this post because I'm feeling sorry for myself.

I'm just pissed off.

I got 2 rejection letters last weekend -- without ever having been interviewed for the jobs that I was rejected for! Seriously, how do I get rejected without an interview? It boggles my brain.

The jobs in question were 2 jobs that I would have been totally qualified for. But I was rejected without even a first look. They read my resume and said "NO WAY!" [Actually what they said was "thank you for your interest, but we've chosen someone who's qualifications better fit our needs.].

W.H.A.T.E.V.E.R.

The whole situation sucks.

I'll say it again (only because it's true, not because I'm boasting) -- I have two college degrees. TWO. I spent 7 years in college and law school combined. Granted, my law degree is virtually useless since I can't pass the bar exam. But still, I AM QUALIFIED TO DO SOMETHING. Really, I am. Whether it's communications work or some sort of "no law license necessary" law-related work. I AM QUALIFIED.

Dammit. I'm smart, I'm motivated, I'm hard-working. And yet, I can't get an interview.

I just want a job. Is that too much to ask?

Why can't moms have it all?

If you are a mom, you know what I mean when I say being a mom is the hardest job you will ever have. It's non-stop, 24-7, 365 - and you don't get vacation time, sick time or a paycheck.

But it's also the best job you'll ever have.

If you're a working mom - whether full-time or part-time - the job of being MOM is even more challenging. You have to be the CEO at home and the hardest working worker bee at work, all the while trying to keep everything nice and balanced. It might feel as if you always have to prove yourself just that much more at work, just because you chose to have a family and a career.

This is a touchy subject for me.

When I was pregnant with my first child, my employer was less than understanding. (Truth be told, he was a complete jackass). When I informed him of my pregnancy, he informed me that I'd be working part-time after I had the baby. When (presumably) his lawyer told him that wouldn't fly legally, he forced me to go part-time before my maternity leave. Then he demoted me from second-in-command and took away my executive responsibilities. He then fired me when I was 7 1/2 months pregnant - and I had to sign a separation agreement stating that if I sued him I would not get my severance pay or my health insurance - two things I really needed with a new baby on the way.

And now, pregnant with my second child, I just learned that I have been replaced for the spring semester as the instructor for the classes I teach at a local college. Why? Because the powers that be felt it would be better to give the class to someone else since I was unable to start the semester because my baby is due in mid-January.

The best part: I learned of this decision via an email. No phone call. No discussion with me. Just an email stating those facts. Best of luck. See you in the fall. Take it or leave it. End of story.

I had discussed a six-week leave several months ago with a department head at the college and we agreed that they would find a substitute and that I'd come back before the middle of the semester. Apparently, that conversation meant nothing. And as a part-time employee without enough hours to take leave under the Family and Medical Leave Act, I can't do a damn thing about it. [Oh yeah, the person "replacing" me this semester -- a man. Imagine that.]

And so, I am left to ponder why it is that employers believe they can treat pregnant women with such an incredible lack of respect and consideration. It's as if some employers are punishing women for - GASP! - choosing to have a family and a career.

No woman should have to choose between a family and a career. We should be able to do both. We CAN do both. And yet, every day employers are telling women that it can't be done. That it shouldn't be done.

I say to hell with that. No woman should ever be made to feel as if she has to choose between raising a family and getting that promotion/raise/partnership/corner office. I'm sick and tired of employers/clients/co-workers feeding into the stupidity of the so-called "Mommy Wars".

Yeah, I'm a mommy first and foremost. But I'm also a woman who is smart, educated, hard-working and dedicated to whatever job I might have. If you don't like that combination - or can't handle a woman who wants it all - than you damn well better get the hell out of my way because I will have it all - career and family. And you can't stop me.

Guess they didn't get the memo...

Thank you Kylee for sending me to this little quiz...

"What Kind of Intelligence do you have?"

Apparently, my "dominant intelligence" is: Linguistic Intelligence.

Hmm...Below are my "official results."

Notice what jobs I would be "fantastic" at.
Funny part: It says lawyer. Yeah, lawyer...not so much. Guess they missed that memo.

***Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence***
You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well.
An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly.
You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view.
A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary.
You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

The joy of teaching

For those of you who don't know, I teach journalism at a local community college here in Toledo. I fell into the job quite by accident two years ago and quite frankly, it's the best damn job I've ever had. I had never taught before (unless you count the figure skating classes I taught in college), so the first few weeks of my first semester were admittedly a bit rocky. But I persevered and am now getting ready for my 2nd full year as a part-time college instructor.

There aren't too many perks to being a part-time instructor - we don't get benefits, we're basically expendable, the pay is not great at all, but damn it's fun work. I think the best part about teaching is the end result.

Every semester I get a small group of people who want to be writers, but are essentially at a loss about the basic concepts of journalism. They come into my class knowing only what they learned in English Comp (so not useful for my class) and are, I think, at times terrified of journalism. "What's a lead?" "Why does it have to be 35 words or less?" "You mean I can't put my opinion into the news story?"

We spend the semester learning about inverted pyramids, leads, nut graphs, proper grammar, proper attribution, hard news v. soft news, etc.; and by the end of the 16 weeks, the students who walked in without a clue, walk out knowing how to write a good news story. I've seen some amazing natural talent over the past two years...and am hoping to see more this semester.

So now, I can finally put the bar exam nightmare behind me and start preparing for the fall semester. My textbook has been updated and going through it today, planning out my lessons, I felt a great sense of excitement - I cannot wait until classes start again.

Payday

According to a new survey, a full-time stay-at-home mom would earn $134,121 a year if she got paid for her hard work.

Go to Salary.com and see for yourself.

I figured out my income based on the survey...I should be making $150,000 a year.

Rejected

Well, I didn't get the association executive job. Not that I was surprised, considering the last interview (see previous blog). I mean c'mon...they didn't have enough information to go on, so how could they have hired me?

But really, I think it's the damn law degree that gets me every time. It really is more of a hinderance than anything if you haven't passed the bar exam. Non-lawyers see the words Juris Doctor and think "omigod...she's a LAWYER!!!!!!!!!!" -- when in reality it's just a freakin' piece of paper that entitles me to a whole lot of nothing.

So I'm sure the board - including Mr. Sleepy - saw that law degree and said "nope, she's over-qualified."

Which I don't understand -- how can a college degree make me over-qualified?

I mean, I could understand it if I was a former judge looking to work for $1000 a month to run some silly little association. But I've never worked as a lawyer -- I've never used my law degree for anything other than a decorative wall hanging.

Ah well....maybe this just means that I am going to pass the bar and that bigger and better things are just around the corner. Yeah, that's positive thinking for ya!