Food allergies are just so unfair!

Yes, the title of this post is me channeling my inner 8 year old. If you added stomping feet and big, fat tears to the mix that would be exactly how I feel about food allergies.

We've been living with and dealing with Olivia's allergies to peanuts, tree nuts, and sesame for just about one year. I think about last year as "BA" and "AA" - before allergies and after allergies.

Before allergies I didn't pay much attention to snacks at school. I didn't worry that another student would bring something for a birthday treat that Olivia can't eat. I didn't read every single label at the grocery store. I didn't worry about walking into a restaurant and wondering if my child would be safe to eat there.

After allergies?
It's a whole new ball game friends.

I call restaurants before we visit - to make sure they don't fry in peanut oil or sesame oil. We avoid places like "Five Guys" and "Chick-Fil-A" because they fry in peanut oil.  (With CFA we avoid them for other reasons too!). We can't go to the "hibachi" grill restaurants because they use sesame seeds on the grills when cooking certain foods and it's a cross contamination risk. We have to make sure pizza places don't use sesame seeds as a crust option - and if they do, we don't order from that place. We can't get doughnuts at bakeries because there's a risk of cross contamination with peanuts and/or tree nuts.

At the grocery store I read the labels of all crackers, cookies, cereals, and breads. We avoid everything that was made with peanuts or tree nuts, but we also avoid all items processed in a facility that also processes peanuts and/or tree nuts.

Which brings me to today's post.

Today Olivia cried at school because she felt left out. She cried because she felt like an outsider because she has a food allergy. And I wanted to cry with her.

The elementary school had their annual fundraiser walk today - and the "special treat" for all students was a cookie. A cookie whose label clearly stated that it was "processed at a facility where peanuts and tree nuts are used." A cookie that should have been a red flag for any child with an allergy to peanuts and tree nuts.[As a side note, none of the "helpers" handing out the cookies bothered to ask if anyone had a food allergy. They just gave every child a cookie. In my mind, that is irresponsible behavior. Maybe that's just me.]

I told Olivia she couldn't eat that cookie. I also told her teacher - and the teacher said "don't worry Olivia, you can have Smarties after the walk." I thought Olivia was OK with that. I was wrong.

After the walk was over and the cookies were being passed out, I looked at Olivia and she had tears silently streaming down her face. When I asked her what was wrong she said "I just want to have a cookie."

Damn those stupid cookies and their cross contamination risk.

At that moment I hated food allergies so very much.
There was nothing I could do to make things better.
I can't fix Olivia's food allergies. I can't make them go away.

And so, I did the only thing I could do.
I hugged her extra hard and told her how very special she was.

I told her that those pesky food allergies made her a very special little girl because she gets to have the Smarties that her teacher keeps just for her. I promised her that I would make her something special for dessert at home. And when her teacher saw the tears she hugged Olivia and said "you can have two packs of Smarties!"

All of that is just fine and dandy.
But it didn't change the fact that Olivia felt different because of her allergies.

It didn't change the fact that the school didn't think ahead and actually have something "safe" and nut free for kids like Olivia. It doesn't change the fact that until they find a cure for food allergies or until Olivia grows out of them, she's always going to feel "left out" and I'm not OK with that.

And as her mom it's my job to be her advocate.
It's my job to make sure she doesn't feel left out. 

And so I say this - please, parents...if there is a child in your kid's classroom with any kind of food allergy PLEASE take the into consideration when bringing in snacks for birthdays or classroom parties. Don't just brush it aside and think it's not a big deal. Because food allergies are a very big deal. They are a matter of life and death. Kids with food allergies feel singled out all the time...please don't make it worse by ignoring them. Include them with allergy safe foods. Or better yet, don't send in food for birthdays. Do something else like stickers. And to the schools ... think before you do something like handing out cookies that might possibly be an allergy risk. The are safe foods out there - you just have to take the time to read the labels and do your research.

Kids with food allergies aren't "different"...they're extra special. Please remember that and keep them safe.

Death and deli trays

My grandma died last Friday.

It still seems weird to write that sentence...even though she was very sick and we knew she was going to die. Eventually.

Well, eventually happened last Friday morning at about 5:15 a.m.

The next few days were a blur of family, old photos, and lots of deli meat.

Yes, I said deli meat.

See, there's this weird thing that happens when people die.
Friends offer to bring the family food.
Lots and lots of food.

"I'm so sorry for your loss. Oh, and I brought you a casserole."

I get it....sort of.
Death makes people uncomfortable.
They send condolences, they hug you and then they aren't sure what else to do.
You can only say "I'm sorry for your loss" or "She is in a better place" so many times.

And so, not knowing what else to do....they send food.

In our case, it was deli trays.
I have never seen so much corned beef and pastrami.
I also never want to eat another bagel sandwich again.
NEVER.

It started Sunday - Mother's Day - when one of my mom's friends came by the house with a huge tray of deli meat, cheese, cole slaw, potato salad and three dozen bagels. [I should mention that we already had dinner planned - ham, macaroni and cheese, etc.]. Not knowing what else to do with ourselves, we made sandwiches. And then we ate dinner a few hours later.

Then, another friend brought a cake.
A very heavy cake.

Monday at the funeral home, another family friend delivered yet another deli tray.
This one came with at least four dozen bagels.

At one point my uncle joked that perhaps we should start handing out bagel sandwiches as people walked into the funeral home...

"Hi. Thanks for coming. Here's a pastrami sandwich."

I thought that was a good idea.
And, it made people laugh.

As strange as the food/funeral connection is to me, I know my family appreciated the gestures. We just won't be visiting the local bagel shop anytime soon.

Bon appetit!

'Julie & Julia' was a great movie!

As a blogger and someone who watches the Food Network on a daily basis (what can I say...as much as cooking dinner makes me crazy, I still want to be a 'foodie'!) - I have to say ... I loved this movie!

It was funny. It was touching. It was full of delicious-looking food. [Note: you should NOT see this movie on an empty stomach - you WILL be starving when you leave the theater!]

And now, I know what book I will be reading next - "Julie & Julia: 365 Days, 524 Recipes, 1 Tiny Apartment Kitchen" by Julie Powell.