Diagnosis.

OK, here it is you guys.

The moment you've all (and by "all" I mean the two people other than my mom who happen to still read this blog) been waiting for.

Drum roll please.

Remember how I mentioned a few posts back that I've been dealing with some "medical stuff" but didn't want to delve into it at the moment?

No?
Well, trust me, I did mention it.

Long story super short: I've been dealing with odd aches and pains since about January, maybe earlier. I've also been feeling "off" and "out of sorts" and more tired than normal. And I've been sleeping for CRAP.

I'm talking the worst sleep ever - even worse than when I was 9 months pregnant and sleeping on the couch because I was so uncomfortable. We're talking about horrible, shitty, awful sleep. Waking up in pain at 3 a.m. every f*cking night kind of sleep.

Oh, and my moods? Holy Toledo I've been a bitch.
I mean....more so than normal.

So...(remember this is the short version)....I went to my doctor who ran some blood work, thinking I had Rheumatoid Arthritis. Blood work came back "not normal" so she sent me to a Rheumatologist. He examined me, did more blood work (tested for RA, Lupus, Vitamin D deficiency, and thyroid disease) and.....the final diagnosis?

I know you're on the edge of your freaking seat, aren't ya?

Well...I don't have any of those diseases.

Nope.

The "good news" according to my rheumatologist is that I have Fibromyalgia.

(I have to note that spellcheck doesn't even think Fibromyalgia is a word. It's underlined in red as if I spelled it wrong or made it up. Trust me, I didn't).

So yeah.
There it is.
After months of wondering WHAT THE HELL was wrong with me and why I felt like total crap...I have an answer.

Can't say it's the answer I wanted.
Not that I wanted ANY of those illnesses.
But I'm not really happy about this one either.

Bright side: at least now when my shoulders, arms, elbows, wrists, back, and hips hurt to varying degrees EVERY F*CKING DAY I can blame it on Fibro. And when I forget why the hell I went downstairs I can blame it on Fibro. And when I NEED to go to bed at 8:30 at night on any given night because it hurts to move/walk/breathe (and I feel physically sick from pain like I did Tuesday night), I can blame it on Fibro.

So what am I going to do about this?
Well, I'm not going to take medicine.

I'm sure you've seen the commercials for various Rx meds for people with Fibro. I'm not taking ANY of them. Why? (1) Because I detest taking medicine and (2) because they are only going to mask my symptoms. There is NO CURE for this illness.

I am stuck with Fibro for now and forever.

So what am I doing about it?

Well...(here's where you might laugh)
I'm going to start yoga.

...Namaste bitches. ;)...

And I am going to try acupuncture ... because being stuck with needles sounds so pleasant.
And I'm going to drink healthy smoothies for breakfast.
And I am eventually going to switch to half-decaf coffee. 
And I am going to lose some many LBS.

And I'm going to keep on keeping on and NOT let this drag me down.

I refuse to let Fibro define ME.

I'm still me...I just happen to hurt every day and take sleeping pills now to help me sleep (they don't help). But I'm still alive and standing and dripping with snark and sarcasm. I'm still doing what I was doing before this stupid diagnosis - working, doing laundry, cooking meals, playing with my kids, golfing (poorly), and going out with friends. I just happen to do it all with Fibro tagging along like that painful bitch she is.

Also, if you ask me "how are you doing today?" I'm probably going to tell you "I'm fine" even when I'm not (unless you're my mom or sister or husband and then I'll bitch and moan about all of it and how much it all sucks so F*CKING much). And maybe on that given day I really am "fine" (like today...today was a freaking ah-mazing day). Or maybe I'm not fine. You might never know.

So there it is.

And if you're so inclined and want to learn more about Fibromyalgia you can visit this website.

Yes, I'm Still Here.

My mom sent me a private message today via Facebook. On the blog's Facebook page. She wanted to let me know that I haven't blogged since May 2 and she misses my posts.

In reality I HAVE blogged - twice - since May 2. I just haven't published the blog posts. They're currently in a 'holding pattern' until I decide to hit "publish."

Long story short: I'm dealing with some health issues and even though I have blogged about it (still in draft form) - and told a few people what is going on - I'm not quite ready to publish that draft. Sorry. #Vaguebooking again. [Friends: don't freak out....I'm not SICK sick...I'll live].

As it is I have too much shit going on right now to talk about my health.

The girls are done with the school year in TWO FREAKING DAYS.
What the what??!?!

How in the hell is the school year done already? I swear that Olivia JUST started 6th grade. And now in 48 hours I'm going to have a 7th grader and a 4th grader? #HoldMe

Also right now my home office looks like the closet and four suitcases purged themselves all over the floor. We leave next week for a 7-day cruise and EVERYTHING I'M PACKING has taken up residence in my office.

Thankfully the mess is behind my desk so I can ignore it for another few days while catching up with work.

On the upside - summer break means VACATION and more time to blog (haha...excuse me while I laugh out loud at the theory...we all know how wonderful I am about blogging lately).

Anyway...here's to the end of the school year and summer vacations and staying up late and sleeping and ice cream and all that stuff that summer brings with it.