High School.

It's really happening.

High School.

I SWEAR she was just starting kindergarten.

Time needs to SLOW. DOWN. NOW.

Tuesday Thoughts - Back to School Edition

I'm in a mood today.
It's been a very long day.

My 'thoughts' today are rather scattered and whatnot....

Back to school!
Today Emma went back to school - 4th grade! (How in the world is THAT possible??)

Of course I had to take the "first day of school photo"....

Yes. Emma IS wearing cowboy boots with a dress. ;)
Fourth grade people.
Fourth grade.

Ballerina Foot Problems
We thought Olivia broke her big toe two weeks ago. At least that is what the pediatrician told us based on reading the X-rays. (Note to self: NEVER trust a pediatrician reading X-rays). The radiologist said nothing was broken - and that report was made TWO WEEKS AGO and NO ONE called to tell us.

Which means...we've been treating a non-broken toe for two freaking weeks when in reality the issue "might" be her tendon - as in a sprain or worse.

It should be noted that ballet starts on September 6 and auditions for The Nutcracker happen on September 17. To say I'm freaking out would be an understatement.

If Liv can't dance she is going to be CRUSHED.

And stress + Olivia = hair loss.
No one wants that.

Here's hoping that the ortho we're visiting on Monday can find a quick fix that will get her back in those dancing shoes STAT. 

Life of a Dance Mom

I joke a lot about being a "dance mom" because honestly, sometimes - mostly when I'm backstage surrounded by shoes and makeup and drama - it does drive me just a little bit crazy.

But for the most part I love being a dance mom. Especially when good things happen to Olivia.

Let's talk about Olivia and dancing for a bit, shall we? Olivia started dancing about 4 years ago when she decided she wanted to take ballet. It became clear very quickly that this was something she LOVED.

I'm talking Olivia LOVES TO DANCE. She's always practicing her positions at home or ... well basically anywhere she can. Sometimes I have to ask her to please not spin so close to the stone fireplace. She rattles off ballet terms as if I'm supposed to know what she means...usually I just smile and nod.

Ballet is what makes Olivia happy.

Last fall we switched from a dance studio to the local ballet school so that Olivia could focus on the basics of ballet and work her way toward being en pointe. She started out in Advance Beginning Ballet based on her experience and age.

All year I've watched her work every week in two ballet classes and a pre-pointe class. She works hard every single week and today the hard work paid off.

Liv received her evaluation for the year and her teachers have recommended that she continues to take Advance Beginning AND also move up to Intermediate I for one class. Now that might sound like a whole lot of nothing to most of you but it's a big deal to a dancer. It means Olivia has made progress and her teachers recognize that and have promoted her up one level.

After all the health struggles Liv has dealt with this year I'm so happy that she has some really good news.

When she read her evaluation and saw the words Intermediate I she was beaming. Like literally smiling from ear-to-ear.

"Are you proud of me mommy?" she asked.

You have no idea how proud I am.

School's Out for Summer!

OK so this is just crazy.

Today is the last day of school.
What the what?!?

I think it seems so freaking WEIRD because this is the first time EVER that the girls will be done with school BEFORE June 1.

But as it is, I packed the last lunch this morning (until August that is) and I took the requisite "last day of school photos"...

And that's that.

It's crazy how much the girls have changed since August. And now we have a summer full of fun stuff planned, including the Chaos Party of 10 Cruise to the Caribbean.

Happy summer!!

Monday Musings on a Tuesday Afternoon

I woke up this morning and my first thought (right after, 'Oh crap. It's only Tuesday) was "oh crap..I forgot to blog yesterday."

Now that's not to say that my Monday afternoon blogging is a chore. It isn't. But yesterday afternoon was madness when it came to free time so blogging didn't happen.

Lucky for all (2) of you...I decided to take a few minutes and blog today.

So what's up buttercup?

1. It might snow tomorrow night. And I'm talking SNOW. It's supposed to rain all day Wednesday and then change to snow during the night and according to our local weather guys we could get 1", 4", 8", or even a foot of snow. They have no clue. Every forecast is different. At this point I think they're totally guessing about all of it. And of course The Weather Channel has named the storm - Petros.

2.  I've mentioned before the Olivia has been dealing with a new health issue and haven't gone into much detail. I'm still not going to get into much detail - I've told a handful of people what's happening and that's that. We did get good news yesterday about her condition so I'm feeling a bit relieved about the whole situations. Ah, #Vaguebooking at its finest.

3. Anyone else tired of the presidential election yet? I'm so SICK AND FREAKING TIRED of hearing a certain billionaire reality tv star's name mentioned. I refuse to type his name here for fear that if I type it enough he'll materialize in my house (think: Beetlejuice). He is running his campaign on earned media because the damn media won't stop talking about him. NO ONE CARES except for the boneheads in the major network newsrooms who still think this clown is news.

4. I've given up eating at night (read: after dinner) for Lent. It's not as bad as it was last year. I'm hoping it'll help me drop some lbs since I'm too damn busy to get to the gym right now. Also, I need a treadmill at home.

I know I had more thoughts to write about yesterday but I didn't write them down so they're gone. All gone.

Happy Tuesday! ;)

Monday Musings - FEBRUARY!

We made it to February.

And for some totally f**ked up reason I can't FOR THE LIFE OF ME spell F-E-B-R-U-A-R-Y correctly.

I have no idea why I'm having such a difficult time spelling the month of my BIRTHDAY correctly but there it is. I'm failing at spelling right now.

So..it's 2:03 p.m. as I'm typing this so here's what is running through my brain right now:

1. It's Iowa Caucus day. Which means I'll be watching CNN tonight as soon as dinner is over. OK, who am I kidding? I've been sneaking peeks at CNN and MSNBC all day. I know that Iowa doesn't "really matter" in the long run but as a political junkie I'm totally hooked. Also, the more I hear from/about Bernie Sanders the more I'm beginning to #FeelTheBern. True story.

2. My birthday is in 11 days. You know how I feel about that? Meh. I mean birthdays are great and all - and totally better than the alternative - but honestly I'm like "yep, it's my birthday, whatevs." I want sushi for lunch and Inky's pizza for dinner and I want to stay home that Friday night and do nothing. I told my sister the we can go out the next night to see 'Pride + Prejudice + Zombies' ONLY if it gets a good review. My husband asked me what I want for my birthday. I said "can't think of anything I need." I'd love a plane ticket to Orlando and a few days at Disney by myself but that's not happening. :)

3. I have a blog post sitting in the drafts that is all about the current health issue Olivia is dealing with. I'm not sure when/if I'm going to publish it. I mean, on one hand it's not a secret (well, OK...it sort of is since I've only told a few people). And on the other hand...well, honestly I can't think of a good reason to not publish it. Olivia is OK with me telling people - she's just not talking about it with her friends. And isn't not a a life-or-death health issue. It's just...well...it is what it is. So. Much. Vaguebooking.

4. They're predicting thunderstorms tomorrow night around here. I'm totally excited about that. The 55 mph wind gusts? Not so much. But bring on the thunder.

5. Just realized it is a Leap Year. Yay for 29 days of February. Use that "extra day" wisely my friends. 

OH! My "one new recipe a week" thing? Yeah, it's going OK so far. Last week I made this amazing BBQ chicken pizza dipper recipe and it was de-LISH. I'm not sure what this week's new recipe will be. I need to find inspiration. Tonight we're having meatloaf and there isn't anything inspiring about that.

And..I haven't gone to the gym since November. Ugh. But I am (once again) giving up eating at night for Lent. It helped last year. And it stopped helping when I decided ice cream was better than nothing. ;)

Twelve

Today Olivia turns 12.

Let that sink in for a few minutes.

My first born is TWELVE YEARS OLD.

I'm not sure I'm ready for my "baby" to be 12 but there's no stopping time. (And she was technically only 11 in that photo but I loooove that picture of Liv!).

So let's talk about Olivia for a few minutes...

She's quiet and kind and brilliant and beautiful.

She used to be very shy but she is slowly coming out of her shell - you should see her perform on stage! The little girl who used to cry when she had to do a Christmas pageant at age 4 is graceful and gorgeous on stage now as a ballerina.

Of course, Olivia is still quiet. I'm not sure that will ever change. But that's what makes her special.

Did I mention that she's smart? I'm talking this kid has BRAINS. Watching her figure out math problems is rather impressive. Also: she didn't get that from me. ;)

This girl is also resilient. She's had her fair share of health issues in her 12 years but she handles them like a pro. I'm hoping she can continue to do that. I tell her all the time - you aren't different, you're special.

And now, I can't believe that in just one year I'll have a teenager in the house! I'm quite certain the next 12 months will be challenging, dramatic, fun, and full of adventure.

Happy 12th birthday Olivia. We love you to the moon and back.

Back to School

The house is strangely quiet this morning.
There's no music. No Cartoon Network. No "Just Dance" on the Wii.
No fighting.
Just quiet.

Today they went back to school.

Olivia started junior high middle school today. She's in 6th grade - I refuse to call that junior high. Back in the day (you know, back in the 80s) 6th grade was STILL in elementary school. Where it SHOULD BE.

But I digress...

My baby isn't a baby anymore.
She's a smart and sassy 6th grader.

Also, I cried as she got on the bus to go to MIDDLE SCHOOL. Thankfully the bus stop was a few houses down so I didn't embarrass her. (I may or may not have cried for a good 10 minutes AFTER the bus drove away. But I'm not admitting anything.)

And Emma? She's starting third grade. She's riding the bus for the FIRST TIME without her big sister. They won't be in the same school again UNTIL HIGH SCHOOL (you know, ,when Liv is a senior and Emma is a freshman). Sigh...

My big girl...

Seriously look at the legs on this kid. She's all legs. Hello basketball scholarship. ;)
Emma is so excited for third grade - she got the teacher she (and we) wanted! And, as an added bonus I managed to NOT cry when she got on the bus.

All in all I hope this is going to be a good year.

Happy back to school day!

Say goodbye to Fifth Grade

Well tomorrow is THE day.

Tomorrow - June 3 - is Olivia's last day of elementary school. She's moving out of 5th grade and the safe confines of elementary school and moving into 6th grade and bigger pond of middle school.

I can't bring myself to call it "junior high" because...well, because it's 6th grade. And I refuse to believe that my oldest "baby" is old enough to be in junior high.

Because I swear THIS was just last week:

And then all of a freaking sudden my "baby" is getting ready to start middle school and the last week of elementary school was spent in "health class" talking about "human development" (yeah, boobs and periods!)

Oh. My. Freaking. God.

This was taken the first day of 5th grade last fall:

And then this was taken two weeks ago at a Mud Hens baseball game:

Shut. Up.

As it is, I am fully prepared to be a weepy mess tomorrow as my soon-to-be-sixth-grader walks out of elementary school for the last time. 

Middle school here we come. Ready or not. 

Olivia's Allergy Adventures Continue

This week was Olivia's allergy re-test for food and seasonal allergens.

We had a scratch test for 35 items on Wednesday and then followed it up with blood tests for specific food items that didn't showcase well on the scratch test.

35 items on scratch/prick test

She's still allergic to sesame seeds, peanuts, and hazelnuts. And now we've added almonds and walnuts to the mix too. The numbers for her hazelnut allergy has almost doubled from what it was two years ago (8.25 up to 14.70 based on blood tests).

I will freely admit that these are not the results I was hoping for but it is what it is.

I will admit that for the last two days while we waited for the blood test results I allowed myself to think "what if?"

What if one or more of her food allergies had vanished?

What if Olivia could eat something she hasn't been allowed to eat for the last three years?

What if we could lose the "food allergy" label for at least one of the items. 

What. If.

But there is no "what if" today. There's just the reality that the food allergies are still here with two additional offenders added to the list.

The reality is that in the near future we'll likely have to do a food challenge with peanuts so we can know with 100 percent certainty just how dangerous they are. The reality is that for now we continue to avoid all peanuts, tree nuts, and sesame products.

It's hard to explain to someone who doesn't have a child with food allergies how totally helpless and guilty you feel as a parent.

You question things whether you should have fed your kid peanut butter earlier than you did. Or if you missed other "warning signs" of these food allergies. You think about the times your child ate one of the allergens before their diagnosis and how they were sick afterward and you think about all the things that could have happened. And then you force yourself to stop thinking like that.

When I told Olivia about her results she just looked sad.
I think she was hoping for some other news too.

As it is, we continue the "status quo" of avoiding the bad foods, keeping an EpiPen with us at all times, and we keep on keepin' on.

And on the non-food allergy front her numbers weren't so hot either. Her mold allergy is higher than ever before and the trees, pollen, and ragweed are about the same. We were hoping to move to once-a-month allergy shots but based on her numbers and the welts she gets on her arms after almost every shot, we're on the same every-other-week schedule for at least 6 more months.

On the bright side, her allergies to cats and dogs has gone down. ;)

I guess we'll take the small victories where we can find them.

The Tooth Collector

Emma lost another tooth Friday night. It had been loose for a while but the fact that she hit herself in the face with a ball helped a lot.

Here's the thing about me and loose teeth - I can't handle it. It's a good thing Kevin has no issue pulling teeth out because if it was up to me the kids would be walking around like extras in The Walking Dead ... loose teeth hanging out all over the place.

It wouldn't be pretty.

I hate loose teeth.
Want to gross me out? Wiggle a loose tooth. 
The thought of pulling teeth out makes me queasy.

But....

I save the kids' teeth.
Every single one of them.

I'm totally serious.

When Kevin played tooth fairy Friday night he came into our bedroom and said "where do I put the tooth?" To which I replied, "Open that small jewelry box and put it in there with the rest of them."

With. The. Rest. Of. Them.

Yep. That's my tooth stash.

One would think I'm some sort of midwestern Voodoo priestess with all the baby teeth stored in that little jewelry box. Those few teeth in the pic (sorry about that pic if you just ate) are the tip of the tooth-berg.

I have no idea why I keep their teeth. It started innocently enough with keeping their first lost tooth. But now I'm all "omigod I can't throw them out!"

Because you know, they'll come in handy centuries from now when someone wants to clone my kids.

Oh and those pennies stashed in there with the teeth? Yeah those would be pennies from the years they were born. To put in their shoes on their wedding day.

Honestly I'm totally weird. I know it.

So back to the teeth. I suppose I need to start throwing them out rather than saving them. I mean what the hell am I going to do with a bunch of random baby teeth that aren't even separated into "Olivia" and "Emma" piles?

"Here kids! I saved all your baby teeth when you were little. Merry Christmas!"

Yeah. I don't think so.
Must. Let. Go.
Time to toss the teeth.

But first tell me - do you save your kid's teeth?

Are YOU Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?

Today was one of THOSE days when I want to punch the people who came up with Common Core right in the throat.

Hard.

Olivia is in fifth grade. She has 109% in math according to her mid-term grade card. She's sort of a math whiz kid.

Except when this happens:

I mean seriously.
W.T.F.?

I have two college degrees (journalism and law) and I can't figure it out. My husband has one college degree (bachelor of science in business). He spent MORE THAN AN HOUR with Olivia trying to figure out the answer.

We called my dad - a CPA with two college degrees. He was somewhat stumped and said he'll work on it and call us back. That was an hour ago.

I took to Facebook and asked for help. A friend sent her answer. Another friend said she used algebra to figure out the answer (which is great, except fifth graders don't use algebra - but damn, wouldn't that impress the teacher!?!).

Olivia thinks she found the right answer - and it was the same as my friend's so we have that going for us.

Then, there was this spelling homework:

Olivia is supposed to use FOUR of the "challenge words" to write about what it would be like if she went on a trip to study an unusual animal. Because, you know, words like "forfeit," "orchestra," and "hoard" really make me think ANIMALS.

It took every ounce of self control that I have to not be SNARKY and have Olivia write some totally off the wall sentences. Like: "I used to hoard cats when I was a child. But I had to forfeit them when animal control came to my house. So the fact that I get to visit Australia to study the platypus is a rarity. I sure hope I get to stop in Sydney and see the orchestra play."

I thought that might be a bit TOO much.

So we settled on this instead:

Suck it Common Core.
Suck. It.

The Post Where I Vent About Food Allergies and Insensitive Jerks

There are many things in life that annoy me.

Bad grammar. Overuse of exclamation points. Tailgating drivers. Slow drivers. Brown M&Ms.

And, people who refuse to understand the seriousness of food allergies.

It's been almost three years since Olivia was diagnosed with allergies to peanuts, tree nuts, and sesame.

In those three years I have become a food allergy advocate for Olivia (and for all the other kids out there who were dealt this very unfair hand). I read all the labels. I do all the research. I warn the waitresses about Liv's allergies. I demand that they tell the kitchen about the allergies. I worry that something might get past the defenses and I'll have to EpiPen my 10 year old in the middle of a restaurant (or my kitchen).

I hope for a cure and know that one might never come.

And I shake my head in total disbelief every time I hear someone say "what's the big deal?" or "it can't be that serious" or "how can YOU still eat peanut butter if Olivia is allergic?"

Let me explain it all again....

The "big deal" is that Olivia has three very serious food allergies. Has she ever experience anaphylaxis? No. Does that mean she'll never go into anaphylaxis? No. She could eat something tomorrow that she's eaten before and JUST LIKE THAT I could be grabbing my EpiPens and calling 911 at the same time.

We do our best to avoid all the known allergens - peanuts, tree nuts (pecans, walnuts, almonds, hazelnuts, coconut, and many many more), and sesame. We avoid restaurants that aren't safe. We avoid ice cream shops where there's a risk of cross contact or cross contamination. We have to tell Olivia "no" and then comfort her when she cries because she can't eat the same dessert everyone else is eating.

We think back to all the times pre-diagnosis when she would eat peanut butter and then wake up vomiting in the middle of the night. We think about how lucky we were that she never had anaphylaxis after eating peanut butter pre-diagnosis. I think about the time we took her to a hibachi restaurant for her 7th birthday and how sick she felt that night (presumably from the sesame seeds that we didn't know were dangerous). We think about how many times she could have had an allergic reaction at school with NO EpiPens in sight. We always think about the "what if" moments.

We don't allow Olivia to eat anything made with peanuts, tree nuts, or sesame. Nor do we let her eat anything that is processed in a facility where those allergens are present. We ask questions at the bakery, we order "nut free" cakes knowing in the back of our mind that there is always a small risk that something got through the "nut free barrier."

There is never a guarantee that something that says it is "nut free" is truly nut free. Mistakes will be made. It's often a matter of putting our faith in the labels and trusting that they're accurate.

Do Olivia's allergies mean we don't keep peanut butter in our house? No. We have a jar of it in our pantry, within Olivia's reach. She doesn't touch it and we do our best to not eat it when she's home. We don't keep nuts of any kind in the house, but there are items in our pantry and freezer that she can't eat. And we make sure that she avoids those items. And (OHMYGOD) yes, sometimes I eat peanut butter. When Olivia is home. And I make it a point to not touch her or anything she is using in the kitchen.

And it's not just peanuts and tree nuts that are an issue. We also have to deal with sesame which is a sneaky bastard. I can only buy Panko bread crumbs because there is a sesame risk in most other bread crumbs. We don't order from certain pizza places in town because they use sesame seeds on their crust.  Sesame doesn't have to be listed as an allergen according to the FDA because it's not one of the "big 8"...so there's a big guessing game involved with sesame.

I read the label of every food item I'm buying at the store that I know Olivia will be eating and do a small victory dance when I find something "safe" that I know she loves (like powdered sugar doughnuts).

It's all about the labels and avoidance. It's how the world of food allergies work. If you eat pecan pie on Thanksgiving, Olivia will not give you a kiss. If you eat a peanut butter sandwich you can't play with Olivia until you wash your hands. If we have almond chicken with our Chinese take out, keep it away from Olivia's food.

We all have jobs to do to keep our food allergy kids safe.

And this includes dining establishments. There are restaurants where I am 100 percent comfortable taking Olivia because we know they are safe and take food allergies seriously. There are also restaurants where we won't dine (Five Guys, Chick-Fil-A) because they are not safe for Olivia's allergies.

When I can visit a restaurant (or other dining location) and have a conversation with the wait staff and/or kitchen staff about Olivia's allergies and receive an intelligent answer in return, then I know we will come back to that establishment.

When I question a dining establishment about their food safety and possible cross contact issues and I'm told that food labels are essentially "fake" and only exist because the LAWYERS MADE THEM DO IT...well, let's just say I go into my Mama Bear mode and I will do whatever it takes to protect my daughter. Including bringing safe food into that establishment until they change their policies and procedures.

Also, I want to punch them in the face.
Hard.

I don't expect a 'peanut free zone' everywhere we go with Olivia. Hell, our own house isn't 100 percent peanut free. But what I do expect is respect and civility and understanding and compassion.

To anyone who thinks food allergies aren't a big deal and that my requests for food labeling and a reduction in cross contact in the kitchen is stupid, imagine you have a food allergy.

Put yourself in Olivia's shoes for just one day - and make it a day when you're at a friend's birthday party and everyone else is eating cake and ice cream and you can't eat it because the cake is from an "unsafe" bakery and the ice cream has a "processed in the same facility as" warning. Imagine how you would feel. Left out. Singled out. Different. Now multiply that by EVERY SINGLE DAY. Then maybe you'll understand what it's like to have a potentially life-threatening food allergy.

Don't tell me that my child should eat somewhere else. Don't tell me that food labels aren't real. Get educated and start working to protect kids with food allergies. Otherwise, you're just a big jerk.

Why My Kid's Food Allergies Mean You Should Keep Your Homemade Cake at Home

I am a food allergy parent.

I've blogged about Olivia's allergies to peanuts, tree nuts, and sesame many times since she was first diagnosed in 2011.

Today I read an article at the Huffington Post by Carina Hoskisson where she essentially wonders why her kids should "suffer" and not be allowed to eat "lovely, homemade, buttery, gluten-stuffed cake" if my kid has a food allergy.

Well, Carina Hoskisson because your lovely, homemade cake that your kid brings to class might contain peanuts or tree nuts and that would pose a danger to my kid.

And I'm not OK with that.
Ever.

But apparently it's too difficult for Ms. Hoskisson to "accommodate what feels like every child in the universe" with allergy-safe foods. God forbid her child couldn't bring homemade cupcakes to the classroom holiday party because a classmate has a life-threatening food allergy.

Because, you know, not being able to eat "lovely" cakes IS the END OF THE WORLD.

I'm sure her children are going to be permanently scarred because their classmate has a food allergy. And apparently it's ALL ABOUT Ms. Hoskisson and her needs and wants.

To hell with what the kids who suffer from serious, life threatening food allergies. Who cares about their needs and wants.

[Oh and I think Ms. Hoskisson needs to understand that there IS a difference between a food intolerance and food allergies. They are not the same thing. But that's a whole other blog post].

What people like Ms. Hoskisson fail to understand is this: it really IS all about the kids.  And I'm talking about the kids with the food allergies.

Last year there was a boy in Emma's kindergarten class who had a very serious life threatening allergy to dairy. As in, if someone spilled a drop of milk on the table and he touched it he would go into anaphylaxis and would need immediate medical help. This little boy sat an a "dairy free" table in the lunch room and the kids would actually ASK their parents to pack them "dairy free" lunches so they could sit with him.

We knew that for classroom parties and birthdays we needed to do our part to keep this little guy safe and healthy.

So, did all the moms bitch and moan about how we couldn't bring in "lovely, homemade" treats for birthdays and/or classroom parties? Hell no. We made sure that everything we brought for parties was safe for this little boy because we had compassion and we were worried about his safety. We didn't care about wowing the class with our latest Pinterest recipe. We cared about his health and well-being.

We were doing our part to keep a child safe.

Olivia's teachers have been amazing since her diagnosis. They send home letters before the school parties letting parents know that party treats need to be peanut and nut free. The room moms make it a point to ask me to bring baked goods to the parties so that I know it's safe for Olivia. And no one bitches about how hard it is to accommodate Olivia's allergies and what a pain in the ass it is that they can't bring in their own homemade goodies.

No one except for that one mom in second grade who didn't care about the peanut allergy warning because she was "too busy" to care and figured the "peanut allergy kid" could just avoid her pie topped with peanut butter.

Yeah, but that's not how it works.

See if YOUR kid eats a treat made with peanuts, tree nuts, or sesame and then they touch Olivia's desk with their peanuty hands and Olivia doesn't realize it and then she touches the same area and then eats something and there is residue on her hands...guess what? We have a potential allergy situation and it's all because YOU decided that you were too busy to care about the allergy kids.

And that is why it is so important for classmates and teachers and parents to understand the seriousness of food allergies. We aren't trying to make YOUR life more difficult be asking that you take our child's safety into consideration when bringing or sending treats to school. We are actually trying to keep our kids safe and out of the emergency room (or worse).

This isn't about YOU. 
This is about the kids. 
This is about MY KID.

See, my child already feel different and singled out thanks to her food allergies. She struggles with the fact that they can't have the cakes, cupcakes, doughnuts, and cookies that their friends are eating. So what she doesn't need are selfish, ignorant, stupid, small-minded people like Ms. Hoskisson to bitch and moan about how unfair it is to their kids that the "lovely homemade" cake can't come to school.

Because I'm going to bet that an allergic reaction to that lovely homemade cake that results in a ER trip (or something much more serious) is a lot more unfair.

It's quite simple really.

Those of us who are allergy parents ... we aren't asking you to cater to our kids by bringing in "safe" food to classroom parties. We're asking you to help us keep them safe. And if that means that you can't bring a homemade cake or cookies to the next classroom party because they're full of peanuts or hazelnuts..well that's just too damn bad.

This isn't about YOU.
This is about the allergy kids.

Olivia Turns 10!

My dear sweet Olivia Rose,

Ten years ago today you entered the world as a tiny little baby with not much hair and long, skinny chicken legs. And you were absolutely perfect.

You were everything your daddy and I dreamed about and more. We loved you to the moon and back then ... and we still do today.

And it seems inconceivable that today you're turning 10. How in the world did the last decade fly past us so quickly? I'll admit that I get a little weepy each time I think about it.

It really does seem like just yesterday that we brought you home to our little house on Strauss Avenue and your daddy and I had no clue what to do during those first few days at home. One of the funniest stories I can tell is on your first night home we decided to give you a bath - in the kitchen sink. So, in true "new mom" fashion I undressed you in your nursery and decided to carry you (naked and screaming) to the kitchen. You proceeded to pee all over me. And that's how our first few days went.

During the past 10 years you have made our world a brighter place.

You are a beautiful girl both inside and out. You are kind and caring and polite and wise beyond your years. You're also quiet and somewhat shy and a little bit reserved. Your fourth grade teacher told us that you are a "once in a teaching career" kind of student, which made your daddy and I so very proud.

Olivia - age 4

Speaking of school...you are excelling in every way possible. You are a math whiz, and according to your teacher you often get up in front of class to explain the problems to the rest of class. (You do not get that from me!). You also love social studies and science and reading. You're still quite the little historian and I can only hope your love for learning continues. Also, you've had straight A's each quarter since the beginning of third grade.

Some days you floor me with the things you say - not because they're shocking but because I sit in awe and wonder how you got so mature and so wise in such a short time.

You are an amazing big sister to Emma - always stopping to take time to play with her and rarely getting annoyed when she pesters you. As I type this the two of you are snuggled in Emma's twin bed, playing on your Kindles and preparing for a sleepover. I wish I could have taken a photo of that moment - if only to use it as a reminder when you're both teenagers fighting over something silly.

Olivia the basketball star

Last fall - in addition to taking two dance classes, ballet and lyrical - you decided to start playing basketball. To say that we love watching you play is an understatement. When you were "younger" you would freeze at the idea of doing anything in front of a crowd, even something as simple as a preschool Christmas program. Now, you get on stage and perform a dance routine and you run across a basketball court taking on girls who are bigger and more aggressive than most 3rd and 4th grade girls.

My favorite part of watching you play basketball? When you make a basket and look over at me with a small grin on your face as if to say "See? I did it!" Your daddy is one of the coaches of your team and I think it's safe to say he's loving that too. And we can't wait to see you play again this winter!

I could keep writing more, but what I wanted to say is this: to my sweet girl...we wish you a very happy birthday and hope that your day is as special as you.

We love you to the moon and back.

Olivia, age 2. Main Street U.S.A. at the Magic Kingdom

When teachers go too far with "punishment"

So today, Olivia walked off the school bus and immediately burst into tears. I thought something BAD had happened on the bus.

"What's wrong?"

I got a highlight today because I forgot to put my name on my homework last night.

Now, for those of you who don't know what a "highlight" is....it's a nice little tool the teacher uses to keep kids on the straight and narrow. If you're bad or doing something bad or rude or inappropriate you get a HIGHLIGHT. It's a negative thing.

And now, apparently, forgetting your name on homework is just as bad as talking out of turn or using bad manners or being rude.

You forget your name and you get a highlight.

ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME.

In light of all the BAD THINGS that kids can do at school - bullying, name calling, fighting - teachers are going to punish a child for FORGETTING TO WRITE HER NAME ON A SHEET OF HOMEWORK?

What. The. Hell.

Olivia is a great student - she has earned straight A's all year - and she is kind and generous and helpful and NEVER gets in any kind of trouble. So to have her come home in tears because of something so trivial as writing her name down? That is unacceptable to me. These teachers should be focused on TEACHING the students how to be successful in school, and should stop worrying about punishing them for forgetting to write down a name.

AN UPDATE:
The teacher called yesterday (I emailed her last Friday). She said she felt "terrible" about giving Olivia the highlight and it broke her heart to have to to it (she noted that Olivia is one of her best students). But she didn't feel that she could give Olivia "special treatment" just because she's a good kid. She apologized for how upset Olivia was and said that she had talked with her one-on-one when the highlight was given that day. While I appreciate the gesture, I still have an issue with punishing a child for making a mistake. In my mind it would be more appropriate to discuss these things with the kids rather than making them feel as if they did something "wrong." We all make mistakes but not all mistakes require punishment. 

Happy Birthday Olivia!

Oh my Olivia...how is it that you're already 9 years old?

I swear it was just yesterday that we brought you home .. a tiny little thing (all of about 6 pounds) with skinny little baby chicken legs.

And now?
Well, just take a peek at that photo from your First Communion.
You're growing up so fast.
Of course, you're still a skinny little thing - but you aren't really "little" at all.
Nope. You're about a foot shorter than me.
This time next year you might be almost as tall as me.

You are becoming quite the little lady too.
You're kind and sweet and a wonderful big sister to Emma.
And you're very smart and sometimes VERY sassy.
Right  now you love presidential history and you just started watching some television show about finding Bigfoot.
Oh and you've been watching Pitbulls and Parolees.
I'm not too sure about that last one.
But it is on Animal Planet...so maybe you're learning something.
About dogs. 

This year you wanted a desk for your birthday - so that you can do your homework in your room. I thought that seemed like a good idea...you're a lot like I was as a kid. I liked to hang out in my room too, reading. Of course, you have an "old" laptop now too so I'm sure you'll start working on your first great novel any day now.

Happy Birthday my sweet girl. We love you so very much.

 Olivia as president! 

And, Olivia our beach bum!

No school today

The kids are home from school today ... which means my normal "work day schedule" is a bit off. We slept in (yes!) but once 9 am rolled around I shut the office door and told the kids they had to amuse themselves.

Granted, this isn't the ideal way to spend a "free" Monday ... but I doubt my clients would appreciate me knocking off for the day and ignoring their social media "needs."

Oh trust me, after the morning I had today I seriously thought about it. But I chose to be responsible instead. And cursed several people while being responsible.

Back to the kids.

Knocking on door.
"Mommy what are you doing?"
I'm busy.
"I'm hungry."
"My eye hurts."
"Emma is copying me."
"Olivia is being mean!"
"I'm hungry."
"I'm bored."

MOMMY IS WORKING! UNLESS IT'S AN EMERGENCY DO NOT KNOCK ON THE DOOR.

And so...Princess Olivia made that lovely sign up there and hung it on the office door.

I especially love the computer and the Mickey Mouse icon.

Happy Monday. 

Food allergies are just so unfair!

Yes, the title of this post is me channeling my inner 8 year old. If you added stomping feet and big, fat tears to the mix that would be exactly how I feel about food allergies.

We've been living with and dealing with Olivia's allergies to peanuts, tree nuts, and sesame for just about one year. I think about last year as "BA" and "AA" - before allergies and after allergies.

Before allergies I didn't pay much attention to snacks at school. I didn't worry that another student would bring something for a birthday treat that Olivia can't eat. I didn't read every single label at the grocery store. I didn't worry about walking into a restaurant and wondering if my child would be safe to eat there.

After allergies?
It's a whole new ball game friends.

I call restaurants before we visit - to make sure they don't fry in peanut oil or sesame oil. We avoid places like "Five Guys" and "Chick-Fil-A" because they fry in peanut oil.  (With CFA we avoid them for other reasons too!). We can't go to the "hibachi" grill restaurants because they use sesame seeds on the grills when cooking certain foods and it's a cross contamination risk. We have to make sure pizza places don't use sesame seeds as a crust option - and if they do, we don't order from that place. We can't get doughnuts at bakeries because there's a risk of cross contamination with peanuts and/or tree nuts.

At the grocery store I read the labels of all crackers, cookies, cereals, and breads. We avoid everything that was made with peanuts or tree nuts, but we also avoid all items processed in a facility that also processes peanuts and/or tree nuts.

Which brings me to today's post.

Today Olivia cried at school because she felt left out. She cried because she felt like an outsider because she has a food allergy. And I wanted to cry with her.

The elementary school had their annual fundraiser walk today - and the "special treat" for all students was a cookie. A cookie whose label clearly stated that it was "processed at a facility where peanuts and tree nuts are used." A cookie that should have been a red flag for any child with an allergy to peanuts and tree nuts.[As a side note, none of the "helpers" handing out the cookies bothered to ask if anyone had a food allergy. They just gave every child a cookie. In my mind, that is irresponsible behavior. Maybe that's just me.]

I told Olivia she couldn't eat that cookie. I also told her teacher - and the teacher said "don't worry Olivia, you can have Smarties after the walk." I thought Olivia was OK with that. I was wrong.

After the walk was over and the cookies were being passed out, I looked at Olivia and she had tears silently streaming down her face. When I asked her what was wrong she said "I just want to have a cookie."

Damn those stupid cookies and their cross contamination risk.

At that moment I hated food allergies so very much.
There was nothing I could do to make things better.
I can't fix Olivia's food allergies. I can't make them go away.

And so, I did the only thing I could do.
I hugged her extra hard and told her how very special she was.

I told her that those pesky food allergies made her a very special little girl because she gets to have the Smarties that her teacher keeps just for her. I promised her that I would make her something special for dessert at home. And when her teacher saw the tears she hugged Olivia and said "you can have two packs of Smarties!"

All of that is just fine and dandy.
But it didn't change the fact that Olivia felt different because of her allergies.

It didn't change the fact that the school didn't think ahead and actually have something "safe" and nut free for kids like Olivia. It doesn't change the fact that until they find a cure for food allergies or until Olivia grows out of them, she's always going to feel "left out" and I'm not OK with that.

And as her mom it's my job to be her advocate.
It's my job to make sure she doesn't feel left out. 

And so I say this - please, parents...if there is a child in your kid's classroom with any kind of food allergy PLEASE take the into consideration when bringing in snacks for birthdays or classroom parties. Don't just brush it aside and think it's not a big deal. Because food allergies are a very big deal. They are a matter of life and death. Kids with food allergies feel singled out all the time...please don't make it worse by ignoring them. Include them with allergy safe foods. Or better yet, don't send in food for birthdays. Do something else like stickers. And to the schools ... think before you do something like handing out cookies that might possibly be an allergy risk. The are safe foods out there - you just have to take the time to read the labels and do your research.

Kids with food allergies aren't "different"...they're extra special. Please remember that and keep them safe.

Back to school!

Happy first day of 3rd grade!!!