Twitter for dummies. Or something like that.

Part of my current job is to write tweets for clients. Pretty simple stuff, right? Read some content, know the client's "voice" and compose a few tweets. Not exactly brain surgery.

And, I'm not exactly new to this whole Twitter thing.
In fact I've been tweeting since February 22, 2008.

For those of you keeping track at home, that's FOUR YEARS, 6 months, 1 week, 9 hours, 7 minutes and 56 seconds (as of August 31, 2012 at 2:57 pm ET).

So imagine my complete and total frustration annoyance today when I received an email where someone essentially tried to school me in the proper usage of Twitter.

In part it read:

Twitter only allows 140 characters, inclusive of links and hashtags. Tweets need to be created to be punchy and direct, saying as much as possible in the shortest space. Every word matters, so articles like "a" and "the" should be skipped when possible. Think of it as a form of shorthand communication.

Also, hashtags need to be targeted based on what you are trying to get people to search for….

Alternatively, you can create your own hashtag to start a trended discussion  - something that really speaks to what [the client] is trying to say and also sets them apart as the leader of the conversation and not just a small voice.

Whew. I'm so happy I received this email because to be honest, I had no idea how Twitter worked. I have obviously been doing it all wrong for the past four years. I sure hope those 30,955 tweets I've sent out weren't all bad. And to my 1,921 followers... I'm so sorry that I suck at Twitter. Forgive me. Please.

Anywho...

In all seriousness, this really makes me angry.

I'm OK with someone giving me CONSTRUCTIVE criticism - and I'll take that. But to think that she should give me "Twitter for Dummies" in an email is ludicrous. 

I don't need someone to tell me how Twitter works. I've been doing it long enough (and well enough) to know what works and what doesn't. I didn't just start tweeting yesterday. I've been to enough social media conferences and read enough social media news (um, hi...DAILY) to know what I'm doing.

And with that, I'm going to go tweet about the #fullmoon and how it's making people #crazy.

Sometimes you just have to say "no" and move on

So yeah.
It's been nearly a week since I blogged.
But I was busy.
You know with stuff.

Stuff like writing an "I take back my acceptance of your job offer" letter to the fools who thought I was actually going to (1) give up this blog, (2) ask their permission to blog, and (3) stop working on the congressional campaign that I'm part of.

As if.

I'm still shaking my head over the insanity of the whole situation.

I mean, how do three different people over the course of three different interviews forget to mention two really big "non-negotiable" "forbidden" items like blogging and involvement in political campaigns? Especially when I made it a point to mention that I am a blogger and I am running the social media for a congressional campaign? Seriously. How do you not mention that?

So, I promised a few of you that I'd share the "I'm outta here" letter. 

As promised:

I am writing to inform you that I am rescinding my acceptance of the Field Publication Manager position with your company effective immediately. Our phone call last Friday afternoon made it very clear that your organization is most definitely NOT the right company for me.

My decision is based on several factors, the first of which is the "non-negotiable" approval process that is required for personal blogs, websites, etc., for employees. I find this policy unfair, unsettling, and unacceptable. I have been a blogger for seven years and have worked extremely hard to build my own brand and in doing so have had the chance to work with major national companies and national brands. I am not willing to give that up, nor am I willing to ask permission to continue my blog. I don't need anyone's permission to blog. And I will not work for an employer who feels they can restrict my freedom to work on my blog. To think that I would be OK with asking for permission to write a personal blog is ludicrous. Ask any blogger and they will tell you the same thing. No one gets to control what I write on MY blog and that is non-negotiable with me.

Secondly, I am the social media director for a congressional campaign and will not work for an employer who forbids participation on political campaigns. I have been part of this congressional campaign since it started and I will continue to be part of it. I am very active when it comes to politics, and will not give that up. That too is non-negotiable for me.

What angers me most in all of this is the fact that during all THREE of my interviews I made it a point to say (1) that I am a blogger, and (2) that I was involved in a congressional campaign. And at no point in time during any interview did anyone raise a red flag and say "Oh, we have these company policies that prohibit those types of things." Had anyone mentioned those policies I would have thanked that person and ended the interview. It wasn't until I received my "welcome" packet in the mail that I was made aware of the "outside journalism" prohibition and it wasn't until I spoke to you last Friday that I was made aware of the complete ban against involvement on political campaigns.

I find it disturbing that no one chose to be upfront about these prohibitions and instead attempted to circumvent the proper hiring and interview procedures in an attempt to fill this position. That to me is suspect and borders on unethical.

To be candid, anytime a job offer contains the words "prohibition," "non-negotiable," and "forbidden" as part of the discussion, I will always walk away as I am doing today. 

So yeah. That's what I emailed first thing Monday morning. 
Granted, it could have been shorter. 
I could have just said "take your job and shove it"...but I wanted them to REALLY KNOW what was wrong with them and their job. 

Their response? "Thanks. Good luck." 
I wasn't expecting much else to be honest. 

And as long as I'm being totally honest ... I'm not that upset about this.Yes, I gave up a full-time job with benefits...but after getting this brief glimpse into how they treat their employees, I have to say I think I dodged a bullet with this one. A good salary cannot make up for the fact that I'm quite certain I would have been working for some crazy people. Money isn't everything. 

If I've learned anything after working for the green trolls, it's that I MUST be happy about my job. I will not take a job merely to have a full-time salary. If I can't say "I'm happy" every single day when it comes to work, then it's just not worth it to me.

The long and winding road Part 2

The date: July 19, 2011

I arrived at the office EARLY.
Way early.
Early enough that a coworker (and friend) said "What are you doing here so early?"
And then she saw the boxes in my arms.
And the reality of what was happening hit.

"I'm quitting. Today. Right now."

And with that I walked upstairs to my office and proceeded to pack up what little belongings I had left. I had been slowly taking things home for weeks - preparing for the day The Bully fired me for breathing wrong. Only a few people had noticed that my office decor had changed. I didn't care how noticed. I quickly packed my photos and candy dish and turned on my laptop for one last email.

My resignation letter "victory email" had been written the day before. There was great thought put into this resignation letter. I was going to tell the Bully and her minions exactly WHY I was quitting...knowing full well that they didn't really care. They believed that what they did to employees was OK, justifiable, and fully within the realm of acceptable behavior.

After sending off the email that I hoped was the VERY FIRST thing The Bully saw upon her return from vacation, I ventured down the hallway to visit the regional director - a person who, at one point in time, I considered a friend and confidant within the confines of the office walls.

"You're here early. What's going on?"
I'm leaving.
"Where are you going?"
No. I don't think you understand. I'm leaving. Quitting. Here's my resignation letter. I can no longer work here and be treated this way.

I turned around and walked out before she could respond.

I said a couple more quick goodbyes before walking to my car.

I wanted to be out of the office before everyone else showed up.

As I was getting in my car, the regional director (and former friend) walked out to ask my password for the computer.

"I know what you think of me and what you've said about me. The people you talked to don't keep secrets as well as you think."
And? So what? I'm beyond the point of caring right now.
"I hope you find what you're looking for and it makes you happy." 
I'll be happy as soon as I pull out of this parking lot.

And with that...I got in my car and drove away.
And the minute I pulled out of the parking lot I felt free.

I didn't know what the next 12 months would bring with it - the challenges, roadblocks, frustrations, annoyances, and unlimited amounts of stress - but I knew that whatever was ahead of my had to be better than what I was dealing with in that office. Anything was going to be better than suffering at the hands of a bully.

The last year hasn't been perfect. It hasn't been without disappointments. It hasn't been without moments of hysterical crying and feeling as if I might just lose my mind.

But it has been a year without The Bully and her minions.
And that makes it a great year.

The long and winding road

It's been just about a year since I walked out of the worst job EVER and started the next chapter of my professional life.

What a year it's been.

Quitting that job was still the best decision I've ever made on a professional level. And yet I'm still haunted by what happened to me while I worked there. As much as I have forced myself to move forward and move on....it's sometimes easier said than done.

When I worked for The Bully and her minions I often felt worthless, stupid, and like everything I did in my job was wrong. The green trolls don't ever tell you that you're doing a good job or that your hard work is appreciated. Instead they thrive on telling you how terrible you are, how much you're unliked and how you are a failure.

Trust me when I say working in conditions like that really makes you question your abilities, and your self-confidence wavers. A lot.

Fast-forward to this spring. I started working at a job that is OK and it's making me a little bit of money. So that's always good.

A few weeks ago I wrote something that in my mind was just "meh"...so the response it garnered from my "supervisor" and the managing editor was a bit surprising. The managing editor emailed to tell me that she didn't know how she survived with me and said the item I wrote was the best example she has seen. Ever. They're even going to use it as an example of how that particular job should always be done.

As much as I wanted to just run with that compliment, I questioned it. I wondered why they were acting this way. Why were they heaping praise on me? I didn't do anything that great. It was "just" words on the screen. I wasn't anything special.

As I obsessed over it that night, I realized that if someone in an authority role bullies you enough and makes you feel like you're worthless enough times, you really do start to believe it. I had spent so many months taking abuse from The Bully and her minions that I started to believe what she said.

Because of  that, I have spent that last year questioning my own abilities and doubting my skills. I've wondered why certain organizations would want ME at their events and I've questioned why I'm still blogging. I haven't been blogging as much because I was lacking drive and motivation. I didn't have it in me to write.

And then last week a couple things happened that made me realize that I really AM good at what I do. All it took was a nice compliment from a trusted friend, being told that I'm appreciated for what I do, and having an interviewer tell me that the 25 minutes we spent talking on the phone had made his week. Those things all mixed together made me stop. And think. And realize that the person holding me back was ME. 

I was allowing all those nagging, hurtful words from a year ago still haunt me and keep me from being a the best writer, blogger, editor, and "social media mom" that I could be. I was allowing my fear of failure keep me from doing things that the "old me" wouldn't think twice about doing. I was allowing those negative thoughts to take up residence in my head. I was allowing bullies to win.

And that ends today.

As I head into a final interview for a potential new job - the prospect of which both excites me and terrifies me - I have to remind myself that it's OK to feel uncertain and unsure of the road ahead. I don't know if this potential new job is "The One"...but who cares. I see it as a potential adventure and one that I'm willing to start if they want me.

I need to try something new..without that little voice in my head telling me I'm not good enough or smart enough. Because I know that voice is wrong.

And really, what's the worse that could happen?
I could fail.
That's it.
The very worst thing is I could really suck at this job.
But so what?
If I fail, then I try something else and keep trying until I succeed.
You never know until you try.

Just hit send. Or Reply. Or Reply All. It's so simple.

Today was one of those days when the entire concept of email made me want to throw my laptop across the room.

First at 8 am, I was locked out of my Hotmail account because someone (NOT me) had sent out a ton of spam emails. Once I was allowed back in to the account I had so many "undeliverable" emails it was ridiculous.

I quickly posted an apology on Facebook and Twitter ... letting everyone know it wasn't me who spammed their inbox. My former boss (the good one!) replied to my Facebook post "I knew it wasn't you. The writing was terrible."

That made me laugh.
My day went downhill from there.
By about 3 p.m. I was completely out of love with email. 

Here's my issue with email. When you receive an email, the proper thing to do (in my mind) is respond. As quickly as possible. Or at least within 24 hours if it's a work-related email. I don't understand what that is such a difficult concept for people to grasp.

It's so simple. When I email you with work related questions, please respond. Today. When I send you a project that I took time out of MY day to complete - for free - please respond. A "thank you" is sufficient. When you say "I'm going to email you" and it's about something important, please actually send me an email. I can't respond to the important message if I don't have your email address. And when we have a conference call scheduled and I sit on the phone call for 25 minutes listening to really crappy on-hold music because you FAILED TO SHOW UP for the call....don't email me FOUR HOURS LATER and say "Oh, I got pulled into a meeting." That's isn't an excuse to not email me BEFORE the conference call to tell me you can't make it. Unless of course it was zombies that pulled you into the meeting and you spent the last four hours fighting them off with your bare hands. That might be excusable. Maybe.

It's so easy to do.
Just REPLY.

A lifetime ban on Thin Mints and Samoas

How fitting that this post comes just as the annual Girl Scout cookie sale starts in this part of Ohio....

I am not buying Girl Scout cookies this year.
Or next year.
Or ever again.

I am banning Girl Scouts from my house.
Yes, I am really REALLY serious.

This really is happening, despite the fact that Olivia is currently registered as a Brownie. That will (hopefully) come to an end very soon as I see nothing good coming from her association with the organization.

You see, I used to work for the Girl Scouts. That's the job I've been blogging about for the past year. You know, the one with The Bully and the director who called me a wussy. Yeah, that was my job with the Girl Scouts.

Lovely, right?

This organization touts itself as the place that "builds girls of courage, confidence, and character who make the world a better place." Hooey. That's laughable. Because if that was REALLY true, they wouldn't hire liars and bullies to run their councils. And that is exactly how I would classify the women who run the council I worked for. They are bullies. And liars. And all around horrible, awful people.

Working for the Girl Scouts was the WORST decision I made in my professional life. When I took the job I really thought I was going to work for a great organization and that I could make a difference somehow. When I quit my job last July it was the best decision I ever made.

EVER.

I have nothing good to say about the time I spend with the Girl Scouts. In fact, I have nothing good to say about Girl Scouts. Period.

The mission statement, the promise, the Girl Scout Law ... they are all useless and ignored at the council where I worked here in Ohio. There was no sisterhood in Girl Scouts at that council. There was only lying, bullying, and name calling.

I'm assuming there will soon be badges for all those activities.

As a mom to two girls, I find it appalling that an organization like the Girl Scouts would allow ANY of their councils to be run by bullies and liars. It makes me sick to think that THOSE PEOPLE are allowed to be part of an organization that is supposed to build girls up and make them strong leaders.

No one should be bullied at work - especially not when your employer is the Girl Scouts. No one who treats people with such blatant disrespect, as The Bully and the others do, should be allowed to call themselves a Girl Scout, let alone be allowed to RUN the organization.

And so, I have a new name for the organization.
They will be known as the "Mean Girl" Scouts in my house from now on.

And I say good riddance to Girl Scouts.
You are no longer a part of my life.

I can do a MUCH better job teaching my children to be strong, independent young women ... they will  learn more from me and my mom and my sister about how to treat people with respect and how to be honest and how to be a true friend. Much more than they would ever learn from being part of that organization.

12 months + 117 posts = 2011 a year in review

Can I just say this - good riddance to 2011. You have been a particularly craptastic year. At least the last half of it, anyway. I am not sad to see you go on your merry way. Buh-bye. I never did like the number 11 anyway.

So, in the course of 12 months I managed to bust out 117 blog posts. Hmmm. Not a great record, for certain. But it's better than 2010 when I only "managed" to write 104 posts. At least I got that part of my New Year's resolution right - I did write more in 2011. I guess I had more to complain write about.

Grab a drink. And maybe something to eat. We're going to review 2011 in all its gory glory. Fasten your seat belts, it might be a bumpy ride.

January - Aside from a snowstorm and two birthdays (Olivia and Emma, 13 days apart), the month was relatively uneventful. As 2011 started, I was still enjoying my job and actually like the people I worked for. Funny how a few months can change all of that.

February - For the record, the weather around these parts sucked a lot in February. We had a snowstorm as the month started and then as the month was winding down we had an ice storm. That was not in the forecast. And it was damn scary. Our house is surrounded by tall, scary trees and they terrified me during the overnight ice storm. We also lost power the day after the storm and spent two nights at my parent's house. You just gotta love winter in Ohio. (No, I do not have to love it. I detest winter.). On the non-weather-related front, I became the proud owner of an iPhone in February. And I still love that phone. (Yeah, materialistic. Whatever.). Oh, and I turned the big 3-8 in February. More gray hairs appeared overnight.

March - This was a weird month. The proverbial sh*t hit the fan at my office and it was all downhill from there. But, I also had an amazing, life-changing experience at Disney's Social Media Moms Celebration. Let's start with the bad stuff first. My job. On March 2nd, I blogged about the job. And then again on March 3rd - where I blogged about crying at work and how much it sucked. (My word of the day was "annoyed" - yeah). On March 10 I was called a "wussy" by the business services director at my former employer. Oh and then on March 11 I was told that I needed to decide if my family or my job was more important (yes, really...my ex-boss, The Bully, told me this).

And then, thankfully, I boarded a plane on March 16 and headed to Walt Disney World for the second annual Disney Social Media Moms Celebration. This event was truly a life-changing event for me this year. While I blogged about it in April, I'm going to talk about it now. (If you want to read the posts again they are here, here, here, and here.)

Not only did I meet MORE amazing people friends, but I also had the chance to see many of my friends and spend some quality time with them (you know, more than just tweeting at each other every day). I also had the opportunity to meet the amazing, brilliant, incredible Rene Syler - and for that I am thankful. Her words still resonate with me now, nine months after first hearing her speak. She spoke about following your passion, how real growth hurts, how people who make you feel bad have NO place in your life, and how you need to be able to say every day "I am happy!" All of these things impacted me for the rest of 2011.

Oh, and did I mention I also went on an African Safari trek at Disney's Animal Kingdom? Yeah, you can read about that here.

April - Well would you look at that? My job still sucked on April 1. No foolin'.

May - My job still sucked. The weather finally got warm. My grandma died. And I wrote about that - and deli trays. Oh and did I mention my job was still sucking the joy out of me? Yeah. It was. Of course I blogged about The Bully and what a b*tch she is.

June - We went to Disney World with the whole family ("Chaos Party of 10"). It was epic. It might have been one of the best trips at Disney. Ever. I almost didn't get on the plane to fly home. Staying in Orlando was so very tempting. Oh, and we skipped spring and went right into summer and sweltering heat. With no a/c at the job. And then, on June 22 the job went directly to hell in a handbasket. I call it my "Target Moment" - that very moment when you realize you'd rather work at Target than spend one more day in hell. It was this point that I knew. I was now a target for The Bully and it was all over, except for the closing credits.

Oh, and I also realized that I was OLD in June as I attended my 20 year high school reunion.

July - Holy Toledo. I wrote 19 blogs posts in July. I took a "non sick" sick day. I had my "year end assessment" with The Bully, where she questioned the "need" for "work friends" (probably because she doesn't have any). And then, just when I thought the job couldn't get worse, it did. Epically worse. I was at a crossroads. I had a choice to make - continue to work for The Bully and suffer whatever fresh hell she chose to dish out on a daily basis, or save my sanity and my physical health and resign. I chose the latter. I resigned from my job on July 19, one year exactly from the day I started my job. I was free. I was happy. I slept through the night for the first time in MONTHS.

Oh, and we had a heatwave. And I broke my toe. And Emma was stung by a bee. And I blogged about envy and following your passion.

August - Olivia started second grade! I became a "dance mom" and a "cheer mom" when Emma started taking dance lessons and Olivia became a cheerleader. And, we adopted a new kitten - and named him Shadow. It was a pretty OK end to the summer.

September - The blog celebrated it's 6th birthday. I applied for the Walt Disney World Moms Panel. Again. I got really dizzy. And, Olivia was diagnosed with serious food allergies and seasonal allergies. That knocked me on my butt (good thing it's heavily padded). She has a peanut and sesame allergy and we are now armed with EpiPens. And she's getting allergy shots once a week for the "seasonal" stuff. It's a whole new [food] world for us. But we're adjusting.

October - Another year, another rejection for the Disney Moms Panel. Kevin and I celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary. Steve Jobs died the same day. I don't think that's related. Oh, and we had a fun Halloween. It was kind of a slow month, other than the many job interviews I had. All of which ended in nothing.

November - Let's just face it - Nov. 10 was an incredibly crappy day in my life. As in, it sucked. A lot. It was as if all the bad news that was fit to print was printed that day. Just for me. I didn't get my dream job. And I learned that I still had to deal with a crapload of B.S. from The Bully and my former employer. (I'm seriously never buying another box of Thin Mints in my life. EVER.). And yeah. That was November. It wasn't very good.

December - Let's see. The good thing about December? Yeah, it's the last month of 2011, so it has THAT going for it. And Christmas. That was nice too. The rest of it? Nothing spectacular. More rejections from potential jobs. More frustrations for me. Other than that? A few giveaways. And not many blog posts. Oh, and I booked a flight to the Princess Half Marathon Weekend at Disney in February. I'm doing my first 5K. I guess I should start training soon, eh?

And with that I bid 2011 a not-so-fond farewell. We had some good times but we had some really crappy times too. I am choosing to remember the good times and learn from the bad.

Onward to 2012.

Happy New Year.

Wisdom on a Wednesday

In March I had the chance to attend an incredible social media "celebration" at the Walt Disney World Resort in Orlando. The three-day Disney Social Media Moms Celebration was chock full of amazing and inspirational speakers, but one stands out in my brain. That person is Rene Syler, the original "Good Enough Mother." Her "words of wisdom" struck a chord with me and have been resonating in my brain ever since. I have been thinking back over the things she said during the past week.

This is what I've been thinking.....

"You may not know what you want to do, but you definitely know what you DON'T want to do" - Rene Syler

I keep repeating this little nugget over and over again, because it is such a loaded statement - loaded with truth and honest feelings. And it describes where I am in my life at this very moment.

As you all know, last week I walked out of HELL and walked back into my life.
That may seem dramatic, but it's so very true.

The Old Job was like my own personal Dementor - a hooded monster that sucked the life and soul out of me, and no amount of chocolate would make it better. Every morning I would put on a fake smile and walk into the office wondering what fresh hell would await me.

And then I did it.
I walked out.

The number of people (including a former coworker who also managed to "escape") who have CONGRATULATED me on quitting is, well, amazing. Not that I EVER doubted my decision...but to be congratulated for leaving a job - that means a lot to me.

Today I am happier, healthier and more focused.
I wake up with a renewed sense of self each morning - I KNOW bigger and better things are out there for me.

I may not know what I want to do, but I knew what I didn't want to do.

"People who make you feel bad have no place in your life." - Rene Syler

Amen.
I will not surround myself with negative people who bully and intimidate because they want to feel powerful.
I refuse.

"Follow your passion because you'll never go wrong." - Rene Syler

My passion.
What is my passion?

My kids are my passion.
Writing is my passion.
Is it wrong to say social media is a passion?
I think not.

So, where do I go from here?
I want to follow my passion - but I'm still looking for that road map.
I want to write - but for whom?
And about what?

Ideally, I would love to do this - exactly what I'm doing right now.
Blogging. Every. Single. Day.
(And yes, I mean blogging AND making a little bit of money doing it).
I am writing what I want to write.
And it makes me happy.

"I want to be able to say 'every day I am happy' when it comes to my job!" - a tweet from yours truly during #DisneySMMoms

Can you say that?
Can you say every day that you are happy when it comes to your job?
Does that seem like a lofty goal?
Does it seem like too much to wish for?
Why?

Shouldn't we allow ourselves to be happy, really truly happy when it comes to our job?

Why do we put ourselves last? I think my happiness is just as important as the next person's. I think we all deserve to be happy. Happy is my new goal.

"You used to be much more muchier. You have lost your muchness." - the Mad Hatter, Alice in Wonderland

I KNOW I was losing my muchness.
It was quietly slipping away, bit by bit, each day as the job sucked the happiness and joy out of me. I didn't want to blog. I didn't want to write. I didn't think I was good enough.

Yes, my 'muchness' was missing.
But, I think I have found it again.

What a difference a year makes

One year ago today I was starting a new job.
A job that seemed to have great promise and potential with what appeared to be a great organization.

I remember interviewing for this job thinking how great it sounded and then when I was offered the job I was ecstatic! I really thought it was going to be something wonderful.

Yesterday, I quit The Job.
And I could not be happier.

What a difference a year makes.

Anyone who reads my blog knows that I've been dealing with a lot of stress and other nonsense at The Job. My former boss was (still is) a bully. The person in charge of our regional office wasn't much better. I had a few "work friends" who supported me, but I also felt like I could only trust a couple people at the office. All in all it was a very toxic, unhealthy place to work.

Last week I started having horrible stomach pains. I couldn't eat. It was a constant pain. And it lasted all weekend. Kevin and I discussed my options and decided it would be in my best interest (physically, personally and professionally) to just walk away. Be done with these people once and for all.

And so, on Sunday afternoon, I drafted my letter of resignation:

I am tendering my resignation from XYZ Organization, effective today July 18, 2011.

I can no longer come into work every day and be confronted by bullying and hostility. Your negative attitude toward me and my position in this organization has been amplified over the past few months, creating a hostile and toxic work environment that is affecting me professionally, personally and physically.

There have been numerous occasions where your actions were not only unprofessional and hostile, but they fall into the definition of workplace bullying. Your communications with me are written in a way that is not only threatening but also creates a sense of intimidation – ‘do this or else.’

My mid-year performance review in February spoke to my leadership with the communications team and my exemplary work with the [organization's] social media accounts, and yet in March of this year, everything changed. I was verbally assaulted by another manager who called me an inappropriate name while I was at the corporate office and at the same meeting you chose to ridicule my need to leave a meeting early so that I could drive nearly four hours home to pick up my daughter at school. You told me it was “stupid” and I needed to decide what was more important. And then in mid-June I was subjected to nearly 45 minutes of verbal intimidation and veiled threats of termination – all based on unsubstantiated stories and false accusations.

I find it very unfortunate that an organization driven by a mission, a promise and, most importantly, a law that speaks about being considerate and caring and respecting others turns a blind eye when directors and managers bully their employees, treating them with a complete lack of respect and total disregard for their feelings.

This organization continues to create an atmosphere of bullying, intimidation and hostility directed not only toward me but also toward other individuals who have experienced the same mistreatment by management. That being said, I refuse to be bullied any longer.

This resignation is effective today and I will be leaving the Toledo office immediately, upon cleaning out my personal items.

Sincerely,
T.C.

I really REALLY wish I could have seen The Bully's reaction when she opened her email and saw this. I think it would have been a priceless moment. I kind of hope it ruined her morning if not her entire day. [And yes, I realize that is probably petty, but trust me when I saw this woman deserves to have a bad day or two. Karma is a bitch and it will come find her eventually. That's all I'm saying.]

As I pulled out of the office parking lot for the last time yesterday morning, it was as if a huge, heavy weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I felt like I could breathe again. I felt relief.

I. Was. Happy.

Yes, things will be a bit 'tight' financially until I find a new job. But a friend pointed out to me that this is a fresh start - I can do anything I want. The world is my oyster. There's a great big beautiful tomorrow....OK, you get the picture.

I am going to refocus on what I want to do and on what is going to make me happy. I am going to spend a bit of time reflecting on what it is that I REALLY REALLY want to do. And then I'm going to work on doing it.

Stomach pain and not-so-brilliant doctors

It started Tuesday morning...I had this weird pain in my belly button. "That's odd," I thought and tried to ignore it. Throughout the day the pain would come and go and I just figured it would go away.

My mom said she had pain in the same area last winter and it eventually went away, so I didn't think much of it. I went to bed Tuesday night and it seemed to hurt less.When I woke up this morning I thought "Oh good! The pain is gone."

And then I stood up.
The pain was still there, but it had moved a bit...slightly to the left of my belly button.

Now, when one Googles "belly button pain" you see words like "ulcer," "appendicitis," and "urinary tract infection." None of these are good.

I went to work like a good little worker bee and tried to ignore the dull achy pain in my abdomen. That worked until about 9:30 a.m. And so I called my doctor. Who, of course, doesn't work on Wednesdays. The front desk clerk took my information and said she'd call the doctor and call me back.

I made sure to say "call my cell phone, do NOT call me at home because I'm not home." An hour and a half later (good thing it wasn't a medical emergency) I call the doctor's office again. I tell front desk girl who I am and why I'm calling and she says "Uh huh. And who are you again?" I repeat my name and she proceeds to tell me that she DID call me AT HOME and left a message because I GAVE HER THE WRONG CELL NUMBER. No, you moron...you called the wrong number.

After a bit of back and forth she says she'll call the doctor with my answers to her questions and get back with me. Shockingly, this time my cell number works and she says the doctor thinks I have a stomach virus. "I'm not 'sick'," I say. "Oh it's a virus that doesn't cause vomiting or anything. Just pain. Eat bland food for two days and call us if you aren't better."

WTH?
A stomach virus that ONLY causes pain?
Where did you get your medical degree?
That is a "it's my day off, just tell the patient something to make them go away" kind of diagnosis.

So, it's now 10:50 p.m. and I'm still in pain. And I'm hungry. Which leads me to believe it isn't really a virus. Yes, I did come home from work and sleep for THREE HOURS this afternoon, but I think I was just tired. My own "medical" opinion is that this pain is somehow related to the stress I'm under at The Job.

Which means my job is making me sick.
And I'm not OK with that.

If I'm still in pain tomorrow morning I am calling the doctor and getting an appointment.
Maybe I'll get a doctor's note to quit The Job because it's detrimental to my health and well-being.

What it is like to work for a bully

My boss is a bully.
Plain and simple.
There is no other way to phrase it.
She's a bully with a capital "B".
(She's also another word that starts with a capital "B"...but for now we'll stick with Bully).

Six months ago my mid-year review was glowing with praise.
I had "strong communication skills" and it was pointed out that I was "particularly strong in [my] abilities to implement and maintain [the organization's] social media communication. I was told IN WRITING that the boss appreciated my "leadership on the communication team."

What a difference a few months makes.

I have written about my "trials" at The Job ... here, here, here, and here. It's not a secret (at least not to anyone who knows me or reads this blog) that I am no longer happy at work. But, I am still a good employee. I go to work every day and I do my job. And if we're being honest here (I am, as always) ... I am good at my job.

Or so I thought.
Until this morning.
This morning when I opened my e-mail and saw my "Development Plan" for the next TWO MONTHS.

(Yes dear readers...it appears that I have been given two months to "straighten up and fly right" as the saying goes.)

The e-mail went on and on for three very long paragraphs, detailing how there are "performance gaps" and how an "improvement plan" MUST be put in place and what I must do in order to be deemed "successful" by the end of the two months. It was pointed out that "successfully [sic] completion of this plan will demonstrate that you are building the foundation for longer term success." And then she Cc'd two other "directors" in the office...just for good measure, so they are "aware of the expectations." (read: so they can babysit me in her absence).

The best part of the entire e-mail?

This: I am now required to provide her with a written copy of my weekly schedule, and next to each activity I am to document the result of the activity, focusing on what I achieved and the "results should be in relation to [my] accountabilities." I also have to include my "planned activities and results for the upcoming week." But wait, there's more. I then have to call her every Monday morning to discuss my progress and visit the corporate office (a four hour drive away) once a month to have a "face to face opportunity" to discuss my progress.

Apparently I now require a full-time babysitter at the office.
Big Brother is definitely watching ME.

The "development plan" that was attached is unrealistic and is full of unattainable goals. Even if I was superwoman and worked 12 hours a day I could not accomplish the goals she has 'created' - most of which have never been part of my job requirements. And she knows this.

I have been set up to fail.
As one trusted co-worker said to me today..."you have been targeted and you have no hope."

A year ago when I started this job I was excited. I thought I had the chance to make a difference to do something great. That is no longer the case. Now, I am just being pushed around this giant chess board and have to report to this horrible, despicable bully.

The worst part? The organization I work for strives to promote anti-bullying measures. And yet, the women who run this office are all bullies. They belittle people via e-mail and in person. They degrade employees and our job performance, they make us feel worthless.

I found this definition today while searching 'workplace bullying': Workplace bullying is repeated, health-harming mistreatment of one or more persons (the targets) by one or more perpetrators that takes one or more of the following forms - verbal abuse; offensive conduct/behaviors (including nonverbal) which are threatening, humiliating or intimidating; work interference - sabotage - which prevents work from getting done. - from Workplace Bullying Institute.

This sounds a lot like what I have been dealing with for months.

And after a while, after the Bully keeps telling you how horrid you are, you start to believe that you really aren't any good at your job. And maybe people really don't want to work with you. You stop trusting people at the office and you talk in whispers just in case someone might overhear. You start believing that the work you are creating isn't any good.

And that my friends is not fun.
It is very difficult, no...damn near impossible to WANT to do your job.

I'm not a quitter.
I don't quit.
I don't walk away.
But right here at this moment that is what I want to do.
I want to tell them to take their development plan and shove it.
I refuse to be treated this way any longer.
I refuse to feel like I am an untalented, worthless, useless worker bee.
I refuse to be bullied any longer.

You gotta have (work) friends....

Today was my "year end self assessment review" at The Job.

Yes, a self assessment.
I had to explain what I thought were my successes and challenges and then The Boss gets to rewrite the whole thing and tell me what SHE THINKS are my successes/challenges.
This should be interesting. We also get ranked on a scale of 1 to 3. "1" meaning you're horrible at your job and "3" meaning you'll be the next CEO.

Anyway...after focusing on my "challenges" (this place always has to focus on the negative), we got down to business.

The Boss asks if I've given any thought to our "conversation" from a couple weeks ago. I say "a little but not much." Which is sort of true. I've been thinking about it a lot ... but what I've been thinking probably shouldn't be repeated in a year end review.

I go on to tell her that I've talked to quite a few people at the office and they all seemed surprised when I ask if they like working with me (or if they just like me as a person). She says "it's not a question of whether or not people like you, the issue is that 'these people' don't want to work with you."

WHAT. THE. HECK.

So I ask who "these people" are. And she dodges the question.
Apparently - according to her - "the people" she's heard from don't want to confront me. Apparently I am terribly intimidating and scare people with the slightest look. HA!

OK...so if you have an issue with someone but have to work with them...wouldn't you walk into their office and say "let's talk"???? Yeah, me too. Which leads me to the conclusion that "the people" are made up, figments of her imagination, a total fantasy. I'm "the bad guy"....OK, whatever. Make me the office villain.

Then she says "we gave you the benefit of the doubt and thought maybe you're just an introvert who likes to work in her office, away from people, with the door closed...you know, maybe you keep people at an arm's length..."

At this point, it's all I can do to not laugh in her face.
Me? An introvert?
Clearly she and the regional director don't know me at all.
I'm so far from being an introvert.
hahahahhahahahaha

Anyway...she continues by telling me that they determined that maybe I'm not introverted, but I "put on an air of negativity" and that turns people off.

Yep, that's me.
A negative introvert.
Ooooh...I'm so scary.....

And now we get to the reason behind the title of this post.
I was told in no uncertain terms that there is NO REASON to have friends at work.
I mentioned that I do have friends at the office and I do like the people I work with and we all get along. And The Boss says "I don't see why you need to have friends at work."

I couldn't even come up with a good response other than "I don't see why you wouldn't want to have friends at work."

(I mean really...I couldn't make this up if I tried. These people are just absolutely inhuman and crazy).

Oh and my "review" ended with "well if you aren't happy here then you shouldn't be here." And my response? "I would have to agree with you."

And yet, here I am.
Still working for the devil's minions.
Still miserable.
Still waiting for the phone to ring with a better job offer.

Because when that day comes I will walk into that office with the biggest smile on my face and say "I quit."

That day can't come soon enough.

When a "sick day" isn't really a sick day

Today I took a sick day from The Job.

I wasn't sick.

In fact, I woke up feeling great because I knew I didn't have to go to The Office.
I felt wonderful.
I wasn't stressed.
The migraine I've been dealing with all week was gone.

I was, in a word, HAPPY.

And yet, I still e-mailed The Boss and said "I'm taking a sick day. Have a great weekend."

Do I feel guilty about taking a sick day when there wasn't anything wrong with me?
Nope.
Not even a little bit.

After all, I AM sick of my office and all the nonsense that has been happening there for months.
That counts, right?
My job makes me sick. :)

So how did I spend my non-sick sick day?

Well...
I took Olivia to her golf lesson and watched her practice her chipping skills.
I ran some errands with my sister.
And, I spent three hours at the pool with my family.
We had a great time swimming, hanging out, eating ice cream.

It was the perfect non-sick sick day.

Today was another "Target moment"

So, a few months ago I had what I'm now calling my "Target moment" (thank you Rene Syler for this) at The Job. The leadership (ha!) at my organization proved to be less than stellar and showed their true colors and well....things went from bad to worse.

It was at that moment that I realized "I'd rather work at Target/Starbucks/anywhere else than here." It was at that moment that I decided to start looking for a new job.

In March I was called a "wussy" by a manager at the corporate office. And I was told by a director and the COO that maybe I shouldn't work there. Oh and in April I was told that I was "negative"...which means I wasn't willing to toe the party line and be a "good girl" (it comes down to this: I have a personality and think for myself, which is forbidden at my organization).

The last few months have been stressful and frustrating and things haven't improved any (people are still being bullied, etc.) but I go to work every day with a smile on my face and I DO MY JOB.

Or so I thought.

[Now as I'm going to tell this story, remember that I was on vacation for NINE DAYS].

Today I was subjected to a 45 minute character assassination by the chief operating officer and our regional director.

I was told in no particular order that:
- I am negative
- No one wants to work with me because I'm so negative
- I am a poor leader
- I am not a role model for anyone
- I lack initiative
- I view my job as a "task" that needs to be completed, not as a job
- I don't do anything other than wait for people to give me things to edit
- I am "disengaged" from the other office I am responsible for
- I have a bad attitude
- I take the AP Stylebook too seriously and need to be more flexible about the "rules" that I "made up"
- I take things too personally
- Anywhere I work will have an atmosphere where people are disrespected
- Everyone takes vacation and NO ONE gets "catch up" time
- I need to change my attitude or they will fire me.

Yeah, the "bullying session" ended with this: "You need to go home and think about your attitude and decide if you're going to change it. Because if you can't then we will have to make a decision about your future with this organization."

Not surprisingly I spent the next two hours in my office with the door closed, crying. I talked to a few friends at the office - they were floored by these accusations. I had one person tell me "you are the funniest person here...we love you."

Apparently funny/sarcastic is equivalent to negative. And that is not allowed.

So now that I've been told that I suck as a human being, I now have to go in to the office with a positive attitude.

Yeah, I'll let you know how that works out.

So much for "Maybe"

Yeah...it's almost June.
And I blogged twice this month.

You know what that is?
That is a #BloggyFail

I had great intention, certainly.
But once again here I am.
Blogging about how I suck at blogging.

It's shocking to me that people still come to this blog.
But, according to my stats, there are still some of you out there.

And I thank you from the bottom of my bloggy heart for sticking by me.
And for sticking with my blog.

You deserve a gold star.
Or a candy bar.
Or my undying love and devotion.

This has just been a weird, wacky month.
The last two weeks have been a blur, quite honestly.

I had a few days off work when my grandma died.
And then, the day after her funeral I took a sick day.
To regroup.
I wasn't really sick.
I actually didn't know what day it was.

Then I went back to work on May 12.
And it sucked.
A lot.

I was totally behind in all my projects.
I really didn't want to be at the office, let alone dealing with the drama that seems to ooze from the walls.

And then, on Friday the 13, I sent an e-mail to our CEO, suggesting a topic for the "message" she adds to our newsletter. I ended the e-mail with this "I'm not sure what you think of this idea. Let me know and we can discuss it more." Seems like a NORMAL way to end an e-mail, no? (Especially since we're always being told to ACT like the CEO is just a "regular person" like the rest of us minions).

Yeah.
This is the e-mail I received in response from my boss.
Who is NOT the CEO.

I would have liked to see that suggestion presented in a way that projected confidence in your idea. Now I am afraid that [the CEO] will in turn lack confidence in it when I don't think it's a bad idea. I would like to see you, as a communications expert, telling her what you think she should communicate. I want you to see yourself as the manager of our communications, NOT an editor of others' ideas.

Excuse me?
I lacked confidence?
I have to admit, my response back to my boss was a bit snarky and bitchy and I ended it with this: "Sorry if I sounded like I wasn't being confident in my ideas, it's been a very long week." Yeah, I played THAT card. Sue me. I wasn't in the mood for office politics and bullying.

And yes, in case you are wondering, this is what I deal with on a regular basis at work.

Oh and then, last week (a week AFTER being off work for the funeral) during a manager's meeting, this was said to me: "You are probably somewhat confused by what we are talking about, since you were UNABLE to be here last week."

Unable???
As if I had a choice?

I responded that my absence the week prior was UNAVOIDABLE. Which was met with stammering and stumbling over words and a whole lot of "Oh. Um. Well that's not what I meant."

Well, even if you didn't MEAN it, you said it.
So obviously you were thinking it.

You know what would make June so much better?
A new job.

One door closes, another door opens....and I could not be happier

So, today was my last day of work at The Job.

I cannot begin to tell you how happy I am.

Yesterday, I received a job offer for a new gig - and I accepted. This new job is EXACTLY what I've been looking for and it's with a local office of a national organization (no, I'm not naming them here) and I am SO FREAKIN' EXCITED about it.

Today I gave my two week notice.
My now ex-boss was not pleased with the news.
It was a very unpleasant two minute conversation.

Yeah. That's right. Two minutes. Tops.
There was no 'well, what can we do to keep you here?' (um, nothing!) or 'sorry to see you go'.
It was just "Oh. OK. That's a shame. Go tell HR."

Whatever.
I even offered to stay 'on' until next Wednesday (because it was the RIGHT thing to do!) but I was told that today was my last day.

So, at 1 p.m. this afternoon I walked out into the hot, humid sunshine a "free" woman.
And it felt so good.

There have been so many things wrong with The Job since the day I started - lack of communication, promises broken, blah blah blah. It was a bad deal from the get-go and I'm happy to be moving on.

I am very excited about this next chapter and what it will mean to me professionally.
I feel good about this job.
Really good.

I just want to be happy doing something I love.
This new gig is quite possibly what I want to be when I grow up.
:)

24 hours

It's been a whole 24 hours since I walked out of my office and into the world of the unemployed.

I cried a lot yesterday. Every time someone came to see me and tell me how much they were going to miss me the waterworks started - for everyone involved. There were a lot of Kleenex being used around the office yesterday (it was the last day on the job for two other people in my department too).

There were some good parts to the day though. My coworkers put together a nice breakfast for those of us who were leaving - and food always makes things better, especially when there are doughnuts involved.

A lot of my coworkers also chipped in for a 'going away gift' - and they gave me a Starbucks gift card, a Target gift card and an American Express gift card (shopping and frappucinos...two of my favorite things!). My boss...who is the coolest boss ever...gave me a gorgeous pair of earrings and a heartfelt note. She totally rocks.

I had a nice lunch at El Zarape (you BG folks know how yummy that is!) with two of my friends/coworkers.

And then, there was more crying.

And at 2:30 p.m. I walked out of my office for the last time.

Now, 24 hours later....my now former boss e-mails me and says "we miss you so much already!"...which practically reduced me to tears again.

On the bright side....it is likely that I will be doing some contract/freelance work for my former department, so that's good.

And, my (former) boss is still fighting to get my job reinstated. It's all about the budgets when you work for a university and that's the issue right now. They have to find the money and get the job approved for a permanent status...and that could take a few months.

So, until then ... I've filed for my unemployment benefits and I'll keep looking for something else. And I'll try not to miss my friends/coworkers too much on a daily basis.

The End

My office has been cleaned out.

The walls are bare.

My coffee cups and paperweights are sitting in a box at home.

I have one last project to finish.

And then, at 2:30 p.m. tomorrow I will be unemployed.

I have this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach about the entire situation.

It completely sucks.

I love my job.

Two years ago this week I received a phone call telling me that I was going to be the chosen candidate for this job. On July 16, 2007 I got the official offer. And now, two years later I am cleaning out my office and being forced out of a job I love because of budget cuts.

And it totally sucks.

Sure I've known since January that I wasn't going to have a job as of June 30th....but that doesn't make it any easier. Actually, it made it a whole lot worse. The past 6 months have pretty much sucked here at the office -- it's really difficult to come to work every day, knowing that you won't be here after a certain date. It's hard to stay positive and keep a smile on your face when in reality you really want to say, "Hey, eff you!"

But I remained positive. I smiled. I did my work. I didn't complain. And it didn't make a damn bit of difference.

I still don't have a job after tomorrow, despite several people trying EVERYTHING in their power to save my job.

And so, Wednesday morning I will be filing for unemployment (for the 2nd time in my professional life).

And it sucks.

A truly shitty day

Well, remember how a few posts ago I said my job status was in limbo?

Yeah, not in limbo anymore.

As of June 30, I no longer have a job. My contract with the university will NOT be renewed. It has nothing to do with "performance" according to my boss...it's all about the money. Apparently my paltry part-time salary (that does NOT include benefits, sick days, paid vacation or any other perks) is affecting the unviersity's budget in such an adverse way that I must be let go.

Of course, June 30 is just a date. They could let me go today if they wanted to. My contract says so.

This fucking sucks.

So, if anyone needs a writer/editor please let me know. I'm available. NOW.

Yay!

OK, so this might not be even just a little bit exciting for most of you, but today is my 1 year "work anniversary."

Yep, one year ago today I started my current job -- which I still love, by the way -- after several years (yes, YEARS) of searching for a job.

I used to be a full-time worker bee. Then I got pregnant w/ Olivia and got fired for being pregnant. Then I started teaching part-time -- and that was fun for a while. Then I got pregnant with Emma, and got fired for being pregnant.

[Serioulsy. It happened twice to me. I am currently attempting to settle my civil rights claim with my former employer....but they are complete and total buttheads. I won my case, they refuse to settle.]

Anyway....

I really spent about 4 years looking for a job. And then I found this one.

And I love it.

My co-workers are great. My boss rocks.

And today I'm happy.