Would You Like a Glass of Water?

So last night I'm doing my "normal" Monday night television routine - which means I was watching the amazing trainwreck known at 'The Bachelorette. (Don't judge, I know it is mindless television but it's an addiction).

Anyway, at about 9 p.m. (just as soon-to-be-rejected bachelor Nick wants to show Kaitlyn the gift he has for her in the bedroom!!!!) the local news breaks into the show for BREAKING NEWS.

Now, in the summer in Toledo BREAKING NEWS at 9 p.m. can mean one of two things: severe weather or water crisis.

Remember last August when we couldn't drink or bathe in the city's water supply for THREE DAYS? Yeah, that was a lot of fun.

Well, last night's BREAKING NEWS was to let us know that while they have detected the microcystin IN THE LAKE (an amount equal to one half of a blade of grass on a football field) the drinking water in the city is still "safe to consume."

Yeah. Right.
I bet it is.
Have you smelled the water lately?
It smells like chemicals.
And when you shower in it there is a nasty film left behind on your skin.
Safe? Not so much. 

I always love news conferences that start with something like "OK first let's just put it out there - the water is safe to drink...BUT...."

Yeah, but....we found some toxins 3 miles out in the lake and we're making sure to keep the water safe for all the residents.

Uh-huh. Sure you are.

Look I get it, the mayor wants to be totally transparent and keep all of us informed about what is going on with the water.

But let's think about this for a minute, shall we? The local news channels have been promoting the "one year anniversary" of the 2014 water crisis for at least a week now. And all the stations and our "newspaper" have been talking for weeks on end about how the algae is out there in the lake but it's not bad. Yet.

So you have nearly half a million residents of Toledo and the surrounding areas remembering what it was like last August while the media keeps shoving it in our faces with photos and video of the nasty green lake water. And now you're going to break into the nightly TV programming with a BREAKING NEWS report to tell us the water is safe?

Yeah. I'm almost buying that.

I sent Kevin to the store last night to buy more bottled water.

So far we have about 13 cases of bottled water in the basement - which means we're ready for the next water crisis or the zombie apocalypse - whichever comes first.



Yes, I'm grumpy.
I'm irritable.
I'm annoyed.

I've been on these stupid crutches and wearing this ridiculous walking boot since July 9. I will be stuck with them until July 30.


Nine more days of no driving. Of asking people to take me places. Of sending my husband to the grocery store.

Nine more days of being annoyed.

I have no idea if this whole walking-boot-crutches-non-weight-bearing nonsense is working. I'm still having pain in my ankle. It's not as swollen as it was, but it still hurts.

And NO. I'm not doing 100 percent non-weight bearing 100 percent of the time. Because I can't. I have to walk up the stairs without crutches. I have to stand in the shower on two feet. It is damn near impossible to NOT put weight on my foot at times.

Plus...have you seen me? There's no way I can NOT put weight on my foot. I mean, c'mon. I'm talented and all but damn I have CURVES. That isn't happening.

Also, I'm sick and tired of not being able to drive. I'm one of those annoying Type A independent I CAN DO THIS MYSELF!!! type of people. Which means when someone says "Oh, can I get you anything?" or "Let me know if you need help"....my response is going to be NO.

It's not that I don't appreciate the offers (I really do) ... it's just that I hate needing help. Like I really, really, really don't like it. At all.

I want to get in my car and run my own errands.
I want to go to the gym. (Never thought I'd say THAT...but I haven't been to the gym in TWO WEEKS and I actually miss working out. Which just makes me grumpier.)

And yes, I realize that I'm stubborn.
This is NOT a news flash.

So if you happen to see me or talk to me in the next nine days and I seem a bit a lot grumpy, don't take it personally.

I'm just in a bad mood.


Four Years

This was in my Time Hop today:

Four years ago today I quit my job with the Trolls. I sent my resignation via email to the corporate office in Cincinnati, told the regional manager I was quitting, packed up my office, and walked out of the WORST. JOB. IN. THE. HISTORY. OF. EVER.

That Facebook post seen above was exactly how I felt on July 18, 2011.

Four year ago.

It's crazy that it's been FOUR YEARS. A lot has happened since then.

Professionally, I've been working from home since 2012 and I love it.

The job I've been in for the past 2 1/2 years is the BEST JOB EVER and I thank my lucky stars every day for this job. I love what I'm doing. I work for someone who respects me and respects my work. I adore my co-workers - we're a TEAM even though we are scattered throughout the country.

So it seems that four years is the point in time where that old job is just a distant memory that can't have a negative effect on my anymore. In the 12 months after I quit I was still dealing with the damage that months of bullying did to me.

But now?

Now I trust my ability to do a good job.
I trust my ability as a writer.
I feel confident in my work.

And did I mention that I love my job?

Yeah. You know you're in the right job when you wake up every single morning and think "I can't wait to get to work." Two and a half years into this job and it still excites me. THAT is key to job happiness.


Fell Off My Unicorn

Yes you read that right.

I fell off my unicorn.

Or at least that's what I'm going to tell people for the next TWO WEEKS when they ask why I'm on crutches.

I'm sick and tired of trying to explain why I'm on crutches.

This is why I'm "out of commission" right now: Four long years ago I was "training" for a 5K and I was also on antibiotics (ciproflaxin to be exact) ... and I partially ruptured my Achilles tendon. That injury didn't heal properly and it ended up causing Achilles tendonitis, plantar fasciitis, and post tibular tendonitis. Fast-foward to right here and now and my post tib tendonitis has been getting worse and worse over the last 3 years and now I'm to the point that if I can't get it "calmed down" I'm looking at a cast or possibly even reconstructive surgery.

Dear post tib tendon: Calm. The. F**K. Down. Please.

But honestly I can't ramble on for minutes telling people that lame ass story about partially ruptured tendons and never-ending tendonitis. It's boring. And it's stupid. And people just end up staring at me like "WTF is this crazy woman talking about?"

Which brings me to the unicorn.

I am now telling people that I'm on crutches and in a walking boot because I fell off my unicorn.

Like this:

Any questions?


Out of Commission

So my summer just got a lot more fun.

You should also read that sentence as though it was oozing with sarcasm.

I am now stuck in my walking boot AND on crutches for the next three weeks.

My never-ending ankle issues have gotten to the point that I can't walk without pain. So the ortho surgeon said I need to "rest" the ankle for three weeks. Then we decide what's next. And yes, reconstructive surgery could be next.

So for the next THREE WEEKS I am not allowed to drive. Or walk on my ankle. At all. I have been told NO weight bearing on the ankle.


I'm annoyed. And grumpy. And pissed off.

So I redesigned the blog and made it purple with polka dots. :)


As Summer Goes On...

I think it's safe to say that my "vacation hangover" is ...well...over.

Last week was a rough week, coming back to "reality" after a week in the Outer Banks. But I woke up yesterday and thought "OK, let's do this!"

I sort of dragged myself through last week, wishing I was at the beach still. It was so incredible to wake up with the sunrise every morning in the OBX, walking the beach as the sun popped over the horizon.

Waking up at 6 a.m. in Ohio...not as magical.

But this summer is a full season for us. The girls are both taking dance and I'm signing them up for basketball camp, and they're taking golf lessons every Friday. Oh and this is the second week of their two-week summer religion class.

(We've also decided that this is likely the LAST summer we're doing the summer program, but that's another post).

Thankfully the girls are "old enough" to amuse themselves during the day while I'm working. Don't ever let anyone tell you that working from home is "easy." Because it's not. Especially in the summer when the kids are home and want your attention.

So yes, the vacation hangover is over.

But, the next countdown has started - Walt Disney World Resort in 152 days.

Happy Summer!


New Blog!

Yeah I know what you're thinking....

Why in the world would you start ANOTHER BLOG when you never write for this one?

Well, because I can.

And I wanted to.

And it's going to be an all allergy all the time blog.

It's called Glass City Allergy Mom and you can find it here.

But don't worry...I'll still be sharing my snark and wisdom here for the one or two people who still read my blog (hi there!).


Say goodbye to Fifth Grade

Well tomorrow is THE day.

Tomorrow - June 3 - is Olivia's last day of elementary school. She's moving out of 5th grade and the safe confines of elementary school and moving into 6th grade and bigger pond of middle school.

I can't bring myself to call it "junior high" because...well, because it's 6th grade. And I refuse to believe that my oldest "baby" is old enough to be in junior high.

Because I swear THIS was just last week:

And then all of a freaking sudden my "baby" is getting ready to start middle school and the last week of elementary school was spent in "health class" talking about "human development" (yeah, boobs and periods!)

Oh. My. Freaking. God.

This was taken the first day of 5th grade last fall:

And then this was taken two weeks ago at a Mud Hens baseball game:

Shut. Up.

As it is, I am fully prepared to be a weepy mess tomorrow as my soon-to-be-sixth-grader walks out of elementary school for the last time. 

Middle school here we come. Ready or not. 


The Fairness of Food Allergies

This week is #FoodAllergyAwareness week. For those of us with food allergy kids it's one of those "get out the message" kind of weeks.

You know, just like last week. But this week we have a hashtag and official graphics and stuff like that.

A story came out in the past couple of weeks about Ghirardelli.You know, the company that makes amazing chocolates and such. It seems that recently the company made the rather incredible decision to cease using peanuts and peanut products in their production lines. This decision also affects their ice cream shops which means sundaes will no longer be served with peanut butter sauce.

Oh. My. GAWD.


No, that's not sarcasm. Those are the type of responses I'm seeing on Facebook and online about this "end of peanut butter sundaes as we know it" news.

Seriously. There are people out there who are BITCHING AND MOANING because they can't eat a goddamn peanut butter sundae on vacation.

And I want to say to them: Are. You. F**king. Kidding. Me?!?

You're going to complain because ONE ice cream shop has decided to stop selling a chocolate and peanut butter sundae? That's the biggest concern you have in your life? THAT'S what keeps you up at night? That's what drives you to place the blame on kids with peanut allergies?


As a mom of a child with a peanut allergy I commend Ghirardelli for their decision. I think it's a brave step to take. Lofthouse Cookies are now made in a peanut and tree nut free facility - a decision that was made to accommodate the growing number of people with peanut and tree nut allergies. No one threw a hissy fit about that.

But apparently the removal of peanut butter from an ice cream shop menu means the apocalypse is nigh.

Because what is life without a peanut butter sundae? How can you possibly go on without THAT? I mean it must be HORRIBLE to know that you'll never enjoy a Gold Rush Sundae at Ghirardelli ever again.

Kind of like knowing your child can't ever eat anything made with peanut butter because they might DIE.

Oh wait. That's right. It's NOTHING LIKE THAT.

You can't eat a sundae? Well guess what...my kid can't eat ANYTHING with peanut butter or peanuts in it. NOTHING. Because if she does she could get very sick. Or she could DIE.

So when I read all this horrible, hurtful, hateful comments about how kids with food allergies are "ruining it" for the "rest of us" and how parents of food allergy kids need to keep their kids out of places like Ghirardelli and how it's SO UNFAIR ... well it really pisses me off.

You know what's really unfair? Being 11 years old with numerous food allergies that could end your life or at least put you in the hospital. It's unfair that my child still can't go into Ghirardelli because they still serve tree nuts. It's unfair that my child has gone to birthday parties where she can't eat the cake because it isn't safe. It's unfair that there so many horrible assholes out there who think it's OK to bitch and moan about one goddamn bowl of ice cream that they can't eat when my child LIVES THAT EVERY DAMN DAY.

Just once I would like one of those idiots to walk in the shoes of a child with a food allergy for one day. These kids didn't ask to have these allergies. They didn't do anything wrong to make their bodies rebel against food. They don't deserve to be blamed for a decision that they had no control over.

No one asked this corporation to stop using peanuts and peanut butter. The company made a decision based on what they thought was right based on the reality that peanut allergies aren't going away. They're trying to do something good for a small population of people and quite frankly they should be commended for it.

Don't blame the peanut allergy kids for the fact that you can't have a stupid sundae. It's not their fault.

Just once look past the end of your stupid, selfish nose and realize there's a whole big world out there that needs a little compassion. Kids with food allergies have it hard enough - they don't need your hatred and narrowminded views.

Kids with food allergies need your support. And your compassion. And a hug. Just make sure it's a peanut-free hug.


So This Is What It's Come Down To....

....a blog post a month, eh?

Yeah. Take my blogger card away right now.

OK in my defense it has been a crazy month and the fact that it is May 12 has just raised my stress level a little bit.

This weekend is dance recital weekend, also known as Dance Mom Hell. Sure it's exciting for the kids with the hair and the makeup and the costumes. But for the moms it's excruciatingly painful with the hair and the makeup and the costumes.

Last week was the end of my patience with the kids' dance studio when one of the instructors told the parents (IN FRONT OF THE KIDS) that if they didn't get a "backstage mom" the girls wouldn't be allowed to dance. At all.

So basically it was a flat-out threat that the thousands of dollars paid by parents and grandparents would be a total waste unless someone "stepped up" and volunteered as tribute for the Dance Mom Hunger Games.

The part that pissed me off most? Telling us in front of the girls. Seven and eight-year-old kids who worked so hard all year to learn this dance. Emma told me that night how mad she was when the teacher said they might not dance.

And that is just ONE of the reasons we're leaving that dance studio at the end of this week. Forever.

In other non-dance news...the kids have 16 days of school left (not counting weekends, obviously). And I'm reaching that end-of-the-school-year breaking point where I'm tempted to just throw Pop Tarts and bottled water in their lunch boxes and ignore the homework. (I said I was tempted. I'm not actually doing that.)

I'm one burned out mama. But we still have a 6th grade parent meeting this week (OMG!), Career Day next week (and I'm talking about Disney), Field Day, and the last day of school 5th grade party where I'm probably going to cry my eyes out.

And then?

Then we pack up the car and drive to the OBX and I sit on the beach for a week drinking fruity drinks and watching the waves. That's when I exhale.

Happy almost end of the school year to you!