OK, here it is you guys.

The moment you've all (and by "all" I mean the two people other than my mom who happen to still read this blog) been waiting for.

Drum roll please.

Remember how I mentioned a few posts back that I've been dealing with some "medical stuff" but didn't want to delve into it at the moment?

Well, trust me, I did mention it.

Long story super short: I've been dealing with odd aches and pains since about January, maybe earlier. I've also been feeling "off" and "out of sorts" and more tired than normal. And I've been sleeping for CRAP.

I'm talking the worst sleep ever - even worse than when I was 9 months pregnant and sleeping on the couch because I was so uncomfortable. We're talking about horrible, shitty, awful sleep. Waking up in pain at 3 a.m. every f*cking night kind of sleep.

Oh, and my moods? Holy Toledo I've been a bitch.
I mean....more so than normal.

So...(remember this is the short version)....I went to my doctor who ran some blood work, thinking I had Rheumatoid Arthritis. Blood work came back "not normal" so she sent me to a Rheumatologist. He examined me, did more blood work (tested for RA, Lupus, Vitamin D deficiency, and thyroid disease) and.....the final diagnosis?

I know you're on the edge of your freaking seat, aren't ya?

Well...I don't have any of those diseases.


The "good news" according to my rheumatologist is that I have Fibromyalgia.

(I have to note that spellcheck doesn't even think Fibromyalgia is a word. It's underlined in red as if I spelled it wrong or made it up. Trust me, I didn't).

So yeah.
There it is.
After months of wondering WHAT THE HELL was wrong with me and why I felt like total crap...I have an answer.

Can't say it's the answer I wanted.
Not that I wanted ANY of those illnesses.
But I'm not really happy about this one either.

Bright side: at least now when my shoulders, arms, elbows, wrists, back, and hips hurt to varying degrees EVERY F*CKING DAY I can blame it on Fibro. And when I forget why the hell I went downstairs I can blame it on Fibro. And when I NEED to go to bed at 8:30 at night on any given night because it hurts to move/walk/breathe (and I feel physically sick from pain like I did Tuesday night), I can blame it on Fibro.

So what am I going to do about this?
Well, I'm not going to take medicine.

I'm sure you've seen the commercials for various Rx meds for people with Fibro. I'm not taking ANY of them. Why? (1) Because I detest taking medicine and (2) because they are only going to mask my symptoms. There is NO CURE for this illness.

I am stuck with Fibro for now and forever.

So what am I doing about it?

Well...(here's where you might laugh)
I'm going to start yoga.

...Namaste bitches. ;)...

And I am going to try acupuncture ... because being stuck with needles sounds so pleasant.
And I'm going to drink healthy smoothies for breakfast.
And I am eventually going to switch to half-decaf coffee. 
And I am going to lose some many LBS.

And I'm going to keep on keeping on and NOT let this drag me down.

I refuse to let Fibro define ME.

I'm still me...I just happen to hurt every day and take sleeping pills now to help me sleep (they don't help). But I'm still alive and standing and dripping with snark and sarcasm. I'm still doing what I was doing before this stupid diagnosis - working, doing laundry, cooking meals, playing with my kids, golfing (poorly), and going out with friends. I just happen to do it all with Fibro tagging along like that painful bitch she is.

Also, if you ask me "how are you doing today?" I'm probably going to tell you "I'm fine" even when I'm not (unless you're my mom or sister or husband and then I'll bitch and moan about all of it and how much it all sucks so F*CKING much). And maybe on that given day I really am "fine" (like today...today was a freaking ah-mazing day). Or maybe I'm not fine. You might never know.

So there it is.

And if you're so inclined and want to learn more about Fibromyalgia you can visit this website.


  1. Ugh, Traci that sucks. As I was reading, fibro immediately popped into my head. I have met many people this past year with fibro and they have said that good nutrition and yoga definitely help. I especially love Restorative yoga - it's so relaxing. Good luck beating this!!

    1. Thanks. Yeah, it sucks. :( ... I figure that as long as I try to stay positive and do things to make myself feel better it'll be OK.

  2. I'm sorry that this is the answer you got, but you've got an incredible outlook!

    Also - acupuncture has saved my life several times. I may sound like I'm exaggerating, and I suppose I am, but it certainly saved my feet from living with foot pain forever. I hope your efforts to manage your pain help! And I have a friend who was recently diagnosed, same thing, FINALLY an answer, and I'm sharing this w. her!