Yep. Sixteen days. That's how much time I have until the results are released for the Ohio bar exam. I've been trying not to think about it...but damn it all, those negative thoughts keep sneaking in.
While everyone who was party to the three days of state-sponsored torture back in February is probably feeling the same anxiety (did I pass? did I fail?)....let's remember that this was not the first time I took the bar exam. It was the SIXTH time. While I'm not ashamed to say that (I know for a fact that I wasn't the only one there taking it again -- I did meet someone taking it for the fifth time, the other person at my table was taking it for the second time, as was a very dear friend of mine) - I won't be thrilled to say it's the sixth time that I failed the bar.
(And I'm sure that anyone who fails the bar is less than thrilled to say they failed...but to fail five times, or possibly six...it's just depressing and a bit embarassing. "Who me? Yes, I went to law school, graduated [seven years ago, in my case], and am incapable of passing the bar and becoming an attorney." Woo-hoo).
It's just that this time I put everything I had into the test and I don't know if I can do it again in July if I don't pass this time. I just don't know if I have it in me to do all over again.
Yeah, I know...think positive thoughts. Tell that to the 564 people who took the bar in February. There are no positive thoughts when it comes to the bar exam. It's all negative, people. You really do walk out and think - what the hell just happened in there?
And then you wait. And wait. And wait. And that's the worst part.
I have told Kevin that if I fail, I am not leaving the house for that entire weekend. I think he thinks I'm kidding. I'm not.
And if I pass? Well, the shock will likely be so strong that I may just pass out. And then I will be celebrating, all weekend.
It has to be hard to not think about it. Is it true that it's not based as a traditional test but you have to score within a certain top percentage to pass?
ReplyDelete(You can tell I've never studied law to ask you that).
Congratulations on being the featured blog in the print version of the Toledo Free Press as well as on the web version.
http://www.toledofreepress.com/?id=3089
:-)
To pass, one has to score 405 points. There's a grading system to figure out how to get to 405 - the essays are worth so much, as are the multiple choice questions and the other writing portion. Essays are worth more than any other part of the test. (12 essays, 200 multiple choice and 2 other writing tests).
ReplyDeleteRE: Toledo Free Press -- I was thrilled to be featured! Thanks!!
I meant what I wrote, I enjoy reading your blog very much. Here's hoping you get excellent news so you can celebrate all weekend long.
ReplyDelete:-)