10.29.2006

How DID I graduate from law school?

Received my failing bar exam score in the mail yesterday. I think the Supreme Court of Ohio forgot to add something - a letter asking me how in the hell I managed to actually graduate from law school.

No, seriously.

I did so poorly that I am beginning to wonder the same thing. Hell, as I type I am wondering if the powers that be at UT Law are combing through their records asking themselves the same thing. "How did we manage to give that woman a law degree?"

My performance was, in a word, pathetic. Based on my essays alone, I do believe that I must have left my brain somewhere on the side of the road on the drive to Columbus. They were THAT bad. The only good scores I receieved were on the "creative writing" portion of the bar - the MPT.

Yeah, so pretty much I can bullshit my way through a letter to a fictional senior partner, but when it comes to applying the law to bar examiner-created questions, Mickey Mouse could do better.

It's probably a good thing that I am never going to be a lawyer. Obviously I don't know anything about the law. Had I, by some miracle, actually passed, I would pity my clients. Seriously. My essays were that bad.

I should have quit trying 3 years ago.....or at least in May when I failed the February bar. At least I would have been quitting without feeling so very dumb.

As it is, I am now officially a quitter. I'm slapping on the "no more bar exam" patch and am quitting cold turkey. I don't know the law, I will never know the law well enough to pass the bar and therefore I am DONE.

Pass the Halloween candy. I'm going to need a serious chocolate fix to get through this.

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