Yeah, I'd like $1,000 too

I read a column recently about how you should give money back to your alma mater. How it makes you a better person, blah blah blah. I thought about that column tonight after one particular phone call.

Someone from the UT College of Law called me tonight. I graduated from there in 1999. [Yep, I have a law degree. A damn lot of good it's done for me.]

Anyway, this very nice college student goes into her sales pitch about how the law school recently tied for 1st place for first time pass rates in the bar exam and how they have a new dean (who was my Employment Law professor when I was there) and on and on.

Of course, I knew where this was heading.

They wanted money. They always do. I just didn't expect it to be SO MUCH money.

"We're calling tonight to request a donation in the amount of $1,000...." ...the rest of her statement was drowned out by me choking on the Tootise Roll I had been eating.

ONE. THOUSAND. DOLLARS.

"....now we understand that all of our graduates are in different financial situations, so we'd be willing to break that $1,000 into payments...."

$1,000.

Different financial situations??? Surely, you must be joking. I don't just have a spare $1,000 laying around and if I did, I sure as HELL would not be giving it to the UT College of Law.

What I wanted to say was: I'll give $1,000 to the College of Law when (1) hell freezes over or (2) I win the MegaMillions - whichever comes first.

Instead I said this: "That amount is certainly NOT in my budget now, and I'm only working part-time, I have two small kids and the College of Law is most certainly last on my list of places that will be getting my money."

"OK. Thank you. Good night."

Sheesh. One thousand dollars. Get over yourself UT Law. If I had actually received an education that would have helped me pass the bar exam after many attempts, maybe you'd get $100. Maybe.