The Top Ten Signs You're Drinking Too Much Coffee - from David Letterman:
10. Your blood type has been reclassified as "espresso"
9. Every morning you go for a quick 47 mile jog
8. As soon as California legalized gay marriage, you got engaged to Mr. Coffee
7. Your after-shave? Hazelnut non-dairy creamer
6. You're tapping your leg like Larry Craig in a men's room stall
5. A Starbucks just opened in your basement
4. Your last words before bypass surgery: "Tell Juan Valdez I love him"
3. Average 80 blinks per minute
2. You named your kids "Tall," "Grande," and "Venti"
1. Unable to sleep, you actually watch "The Late Show"