If it seems too good to be true, it probably most definitely almost certainly is too good to be true

So you know that old adage "it just seems too good to be true"? Yeah. That's how I'm feeling right now. The "job" I "started" waaaaaay back in April most certainly fits that description.

The "job" really, really was/is....
Too. Good. To. Be. True.

I should have known that it wasn't going to live up to the hype. Hell, it hasn't even come close to attempting to live up to the hype. It's just bad to the bone on every level.

It sounded perfect on paper - work at home, social media marketing, set your own hours, set your own rate, blah blah blah. You know, too good to be true.

In reality, it's shambolic.
[That's my new favorite word by the way. It means chaotic, disorganized, and mismanaged. Which completely describes the company I'm "working" for.]

Since April, I've barely worked at all. Yet, I have two clients. I think. I might have more than two if anyone else has quit in the last day or so.

I've had one measly little hour of "training" which was really a phone call telling me "here's how you use the email system." Oh, and I've read the "training manual" and got paid a whopping $52 to do so. Yep. That's right folks, I've made FIFTY-TWO DOLLARS (and fifty cents). So far. But I'm quite certain big money is just around the corner. (#sarcasm)

Oh yeah.
Big money.
C'mon big money.

In reality, I'm to the point where I just don't care anymore.

"But who will source blogs for the client? Who will schedule these phone calls?" 
"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."

I emailed the "person in charge" the other day, letting him know of my frustrations with the situation and he responded with "I understand. I'm frustrated too." And then the next day emails me to say "hey, can you still set up those phone calls with the clients, even though you don't know what you're doing?"

Um, no.
No I can't do that.
Because it's dumb.
Really, really, epically, incredibly DUMB.
And your clients probably also think it's dumb.

For reference, this is how the last 5 1/2 months have played out with this company:
January: Find company online while searching "social media jobs." Send inquiry. Get email in return extolling the virtues of the job. Complete "editing test" and spend SIX HOURS filling out the "virtual interview form." Email form.

February: Waited. And waited. And waited to hear something. Nothing.

March: Decided to take matters into my own hands and emailed company inquiring about the "status" of my application - and attached all the information to email. Again. Response: "Oh geez. We never received it. But thanks for sending it again. We'd love to talk to you."

For the rest of March and half of April it was an ongoing circus of cancelled phone calls, rescheduled interviews and other insanity. Then, after I was "hired" it took another two weeks for them to contact me again with a "hey, read the manual and then we'll chat" type email.

And now, here I am.
Still untrained.
Still not working.
Still frustrated.

Shambolic is the only word I can use to describe it.

The lesson here is this: the next time you think "man, this job sounds too good to be true"...listen to your inner goddess. She's always right.

Update 5/24: So, I emailed the person I "report" to and voiced my frustrations and he responded with "I totally agree, I'm frustrated too" and then we spoke on the phone yesterday. After "training" me for an additional 45 minutes (most of which was totally useless because, well, it was just him talking a lot and me doing nothing but listening), he actually said "So now that we've talked do you feel comfortable taking on another client?" WTH? Um no. No I don't. Not even a tiny little bit. Seriously dude....are we having a conversation in a parallel universe or something? That extra 45 minutes of you talking to me did nothing to alleviate my frustrations/annoyance. I swear, this "job" is quickly earning its very own chapter in the book I'm writing.