Hell and High Water

Still unable to wrap my brain around what has happened in New Orleans and the other Gulf Coast areas ravaged by Hurricane Katrina.

As I drive around my midwestern city, I try to imagine what that much water would do here. I try to picture the water up to the rooftops, cars submerged, unspeakable things floating in the water. I just can't really picture it.

I look around my house, thinking "what would I take?" My running list so far: husband, daughter, 2 dogs, 2 cats, home movies, wedding dress, all photos, diapers, sippy cups, blanket and stuffed toys (for daughter), safe with all important documents, cameras...the list goes on and on. It's rather unrealistic, really. We'd have to pack the Jeep, the car and a UHaul just to get it all out. And then what about all we'd have to leave behind? It's too much to think about, really.

I can't imagine not having a house (or better yet, an entire city) to go home to. There are ONE MILLION displaced people. They aren't refugees -- they are citizens of the US. They just happen to be homeless, jobless and probably, hopeless. How can one really hold on to hope when everything else has been washed away? I don't know.

I have to pry myself away from CNN these days. I keep watching, maybe hoping that someone will come on the screen and say "this was all a very, very bad dream. New Orleans is safe and dry. Everyone can come home." It hasn't happened yet. In fact, the news just keeps getting worse and more gruesome every day. Sooner or later, I'm going to impose a moratorium on my television viewing - no more CNN. I just can't handle all the bad news.

I feel helpless -- as if I should be doing more. The $20 check I mailed today to the Red Cross surely wasn't enough. If I could, I'd go down to the gulf coast and help out -- but I have responsibilities here -- namely, caring for my toddler. I told my husband that if we won the lottery, we were donating at least $5 million to the relief funds. AT LEAST. Of course, the chances of me winning the lottery are slim to none...so I guess that paltry $20 is gonna have to be enough for now.