So I guess I would be a 'bad' wife, circa 1955?

Thanks to Java Gabble for sharing the "Good Wife Guide" from 1955 with us. It was a real, um, eye opener. Let's break it down for 2008, shall we?

1955 Rule: have dinner ready; plan ahead for the week; men are hungry when they get home and if you have it on the table, it shows you care
2008 Reality: Yeah, dinner will be on the table ... at some point during the night. Plan ahead? Not likely. Better yet: pick something up on the way home.

1955 Rule: Prepare yourself. Touch up makeup and put a ribbon in your hair.
2008 Reality: Put on sweatpants. To hell with my hair.

1955 Rule: Be a little gay and more interesting for him. Your duty is to provide a lift for his otherwise boring day.
2008 Reality: What? I'm sorry...I was watching Food Network. I just love that Rachel Ray.

1955 Rule: Clear away clutter.
2008 Reality: Hey, watch out for that clutter. I don't want you to trip.

1955 Rule: Gather up toys, dust the table.
2008 Reality: I'm too busy cooking and watching Food Network to dust. I'll dust later.

1955 Rule: Light a fire for his comfort. Catering to his comfort gives you personal satisfaction.
2008 Reality: Sorry, there are candles in my fireplace. No fire here. It's all for decoration.

1955 Rule: Prepare the children - wash their hands and faces. Keep noise down. Encourage kids to be quiet.
2008 Reality: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh gosh, that's freakin' hilarious. Emma's nose is running, Olivia's got a dirty face and hands, the cat meowing, the dogs are barking, E & O are screaming "daddy!!!!!!", and there is no such thing as "quiet" at night in our house. [as a coworker said: "Prepare the children: Benadryl does wonders"]

1955 Rule: Be happy to see him.
2008 Reality: He should be happy to see me too. It's a 2 way street, ya know.

1955 Rule: Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
2008 Reality: Yeah. OK. A smile sure. A desire to please him? Not so much. Makes me sound like a prostitute.

1955 Rule: Listen to him...let him talk first, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
2008 Reality: I'm sorry what? We're lucky to have a conversation over the screaming kids...[and we all know that what we have to say is WAY more important] :)

1955 Rule: Make the evening his....don't complain if he goes out...understand his world of strain and pressure...
2008 Reality: "his world of strain and pressure"....I'm sorry...which one of us was pregnant? Twice? Let's talk about real strain and pressure, shall we?

1955 Rule: Your goal: To make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
2008 Reality: Sorry, you got the wrong house buddy. There's no peace, order or tranquility here.
1955 Rule: Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
2008 Reality: Don't ask me when dinner is going to be ready.

1955 Rule: Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or if he stays out all night.
2008 Reality: Don't even think about staying out all night. And I'll complain if I want to, thank you very much. [Or: Don't complain, instead sell his golf clubs on E-bay and buy new shoes. Lots of new shoes.]

1955 Rule: Make him comfortable...have a warm or cool drink ready.
2008 Reality: The beer is in the fridge. Oh and make me a drink while you're up.

1955 Rule: Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
2008 Reality: I'm not housekeeping. I don't leave mints on your pillow. Take off your own shoes. EEWWW. And there is nothing low or soothing about my voice. Sorry.

1955 Rule: He is the master of the house...you have no right to question him.
2008 Reality: Get over yourself. Right freakin' now.

1955 Rule: A good wife always knows her place.
2008 Reality: Yes I do. It's as an equal partner with my husband.


  1. hahahaha! I wonder if the radical feminist movement has this taped to their office wall, just to remind them of why they do what they do.

  2. Really, I'd like to know how the women survived then. I'm shocked there weren't more homocides.

  3. To quote an old Seinfeld...

    "I'm out"

    (And probably a horrible wife) But since my Puppy works with me, I gave it to him to peruse. When he was done, I asked his thoughts, knowing he'd never go for any of that.

    He said "sounds good."

    He slept alone that night.