So I guess I would be a 'bad' wife, circa 1955?

Thanks to Java Gabble for sharing the "Good Wife Guide" from 1955 with us. It was a real, um, eye opener. Let's break it down for 2008, shall we?

1955 Rule: have dinner ready; plan ahead for the week; men are hungry when they get home and if you have it on the table, it shows you care
2008 Reality: Yeah, dinner will be on the table ... at some point during the night. Plan ahead? Not likely. Better yet: pick something up on the way home.

1955 Rule: Prepare yourself. Touch up makeup and put a ribbon in your hair.
2008 Reality: Put on sweatpants. To hell with my hair.

1955 Rule: Be a little gay and more interesting for him. Your duty is to provide a lift for his otherwise boring day.
2008 Reality: What? I'm sorry...I was watching Food Network. I just love that Rachel Ray.

1955 Rule: Clear away clutter.
2008 Reality: Hey, watch out for that clutter. I don't want you to trip.

1955 Rule: Gather up toys, dust the table.
2008 Reality: I'm too busy cooking and watching Food Network to dust. I'll dust later.

1955 Rule: Light a fire for his comfort. Catering to his comfort gives you personal satisfaction.
2008 Reality: Sorry, there are candles in my fireplace. No fire here. It's all for decoration.

1955 Rule: Prepare the children - wash their hands and faces. Keep noise down. Encourage kids to be quiet.
2008 Reality: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh gosh, that's freakin' hilarious. Emma's nose is running, Olivia's got a dirty face and hands, the cat meowing, the dogs are barking, E & O are screaming "daddy!!!!!!", and there is no such thing as "quiet" at night in our house. [as a coworker said: "Prepare the children: Benadryl does wonders"]

1955 Rule: Be happy to see him.
2008 Reality: He should be happy to see me too. It's a 2 way street, ya know.

1955 Rule: Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
2008 Reality: Yeah. OK. A smile sure. A desire to please him? Not so much. Makes me sound like a prostitute.

1955 Rule: Listen to him...let him talk first, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
2008 Reality: I'm sorry what? We're lucky to have a conversation over the screaming kids...[and we all know that what we have to say is WAY more important] :)

1955 Rule: Make the evening his....don't complain if he goes out...understand his world of strain and pressure...
2008 Reality: "his world of strain and pressure"....I'm sorry...which one of us was pregnant? Twice? Let's talk about real strain and pressure, shall we?

1955 Rule: Your goal: To make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
2008 Reality: Sorry, you got the wrong house buddy. There's no peace, order or tranquility here.
1955 Rule: Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
2008 Reality: Don't ask me when dinner is going to be ready.

1955 Rule: Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or if he stays out all night.
2008 Reality: Don't even think about staying out all night. And I'll complain if I want to, thank you very much. [Or: Don't complain, instead sell his golf clubs on E-bay and buy new shoes. Lots of new shoes.]

1955 Rule: Make him comfortable...have a warm or cool drink ready.
2008 Reality: The beer is in the fridge. Oh and make me a drink while you're up.

1955 Rule: Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
2008 Reality: I'm not housekeeping. I don't leave mints on your pillow. Take off your own shoes. EEWWW. And there is nothing low or soothing about my voice. Sorry.

1955 Rule: He is the master of the house...you have no right to question him.
2008 Reality: Get over yourself. Right freakin' now.

1955 Rule: A good wife always knows her place.
2008 Reality: Yes I do. It's as an equal partner with my husband.