...nothing blog-worthy has happened.
Hence, my total lack of blogging lately.
I haven'te felt inspired to share my wit with anyone (because I'm so witty).
Apologies all around.
I'm in a funk, I think. This whole not-going-to-have-my-job after June 30th is really getting me down. Add to that the fact that it's STILL winter (despite the near 60 degree temps that are forecast for tomorrow), and the fact that I still need to lost 30 pounds (and am seriously lacking the motivation to do so)...and well, you've got a funk.
I keep thinking of posts to write about my job....but as I start to write them in my head, it just sounds as if I'm throwing a big pity party for myself and that's just not right.
Yes, it sucks that my job is going away because of stupid budget cuts.
Yes, people keep saying "oh that's so not fair"...tell me something I don't know.
But I think what is really bothering me is this: it feels like an epic failure in my book. Here I am, 36 years old (as of Thursday) and I am going to once again be unemployed. No job. And, no career.
Yeah, that's right....there's the rub: No career.
That's what is making this so much worse.
I don't have a career.
Right now I have a job....but it's not a career.
And yes, there is a difference -- at least in my mind.
I have friends who have "careers" -- lawyers, teachers, journalists....things they have chosen as their career path and STUCK WITH.
Me? Let's see...I've been a newspaper reporter, an association executive, a college instructor and now an editor. Nope, no career path there. I tried to get on the path to a career -- twice. First it was working as a reporter...which was OK if you eliminated the editor, assistant editor and location of the job. Next, I went to law school...which would have been great had I been able to actually PASS the bar exam.
And so here I am....with a collection of jobs on my resume...but no career.
It might not seem like such a big deal to others...but to me, it is a big deal. Ugh. Anyway...I've vented and now I'm going to stop before people start to think I'm feeling sorry for myself. I'm not....I'm just pissed off.
I can understand that. However, all the "jobs" you've held are pretty impressive. Its not like you are listing "grocery store cashier" (not that THAT is bad either.... just not a "career"... I've been a cashier before...) Anyway. I feel like your career is most likely "the girls' Mom" which is harder than any executive-type job.... just not as prestigious! :)
ReplyDeleteJust focus on finding something that fills you. No matter what the title, as long as you enjoy going to work and make money to pay the bills. You know?
Sorry this sucks for you! I cannot imagine!!!!! Many many prayers as you enter this next part of life!
I'm always hesitant to offer my positive take on a situation, as it often results in the recipient going off about how they don't want to feel better, they just want me to listen or agree with them that their life sucks. But I'm an optimist and I can't help myself.
ReplyDeleteThirty-six is young, especially when it comes to choosing a new career path. If anything, you should be bummed that you probably have thirty more years of working ahead of you! Look at what you have accomplished in thirty-six years: college (law school, no less), an impressive resume, marriage, and motherhood.
You have four months to ponder what you really want to do with your career. Come June, your opportunities are endless. Is there anything that you've always wanted to do, but thought it was impossible because of your commitment to your job? What better time to consider a new life path that when you are not confined to a job that you might've been scared to leave.
Would you be any better off had you settled into a career at a young age? How different would your life be? Would certain experiences and people be missing? What if you worked in that career until one day, at age fifty, you decided I've devoted my whole life to a career I don't even love? Wouldn't if be far more terrifying to try something new at that age? And by then, any drastic change you'd make to your life would be dubbed a mid-life crisis.
Anyway, to make a short story long, now is the perfect time to seize a new opportunity. You're young, and won't have any job commitments holding you back.
@ t.w.i.t.: thanks for your optimism. i tend to be a cynic and look at things as "glass half empty". so, thanks for the fresh perspective. :)
ReplyDelete@ quiet oasis: thanks again for your words of wisdom!
...this is why i cherish by blogger friends! :)
I agree, take this time as an opportunity to find what it is that REALLY makes YOU happy. Don't pay any attention to what you have done in the past, it is all a clean slate at this moment.
ReplyDeleteI found that taking some time away from my "are of schooling" and going in a different direction in a different job has really allowed me the opportunity to explore ALL the potential job options out there and not feel like I am "stuck" doing a specific thing. Maybe just finding something to get you by for now and taking awhile to seek out what you really want to do would be a good thing! I know it is hard to think of things like that now....but believe me, it will come together.