I'm in a bit of a funk today. I woke up in a mood - which was carried over from last night's bad mood...and I'm trying to snap out of it and cheer up, but nothing seems to be helping.
Perhaps blogging will be the cure.
I'm just BLAH. Blergh. Super blah.
And I think part of it is the realization that my dream of being part of the Disney Mom's Panel really is OVER for the year. I mean, I knew that there was no hope two weeks ago when I received the 'no' e-mail ... but you know when you want something SO BAD that you keep hoping against hope that a miracle will happen? Yes, I know it's totally unrealistic and silly, but you'd have to be in my shoes to understand I guess.
Yesterday afternoon the 2010 Mom's Panel was named ... and it's a great group of moms and dads (yes, there are dads on the Mom's Panel...four of them to be exact!). I know many of the new panelists through Twitter, Facebook and the DIS Boards and they are all going to be wonderful, amazing, incredible panelists and I am SO HAPPY for them!
And yet, at the same time I'm a bit sad too.
This was the first year where I knew some of the moms and dads who might be on the panel. The first year where I felt a connection to these people....I was cheering them on from the sidelines throughout the entire process. And now that the process is over and my friends are realizing their dream, it's a bittersweet reality. My dreams were dashed a few weeks ago and I suppose I'm still coming to terms with that.
It's difficult not to wonder .... What did I say wrong in my essay? What didn't I write that I should have written? Should I have focused on something else? Why not me?
And I know there are no answers to those questions. And it does no good to wonder 'why?'. I think what I need is just a little time to get over the heartbreak and disappointment. [To ease my heartache, I am now focusing on the mini-trip the Kevin and I are taking to WDW in January. I'm in full planning mode....and that's making me happy!]
So for now, I'm going to keep dreaming and wishing and maybe next year my dream will come true.
To all the new Disney Moms and Dads:
I cannot wait to follow your adventures during the next 12 months....and I hope to meet some of you in person next December during the training session for the 2011 panel ... because as we all know