Elf on a Shelf .... why did I think this was a good idea?

This is Walt. He's mildly creepy.

Elf on the Shelf.
Seriously.
Who thought this was a good idea?

Sure, in theory it's great. Put a creepy cute little elf in your house and tell your kids they have to behave because [insert elf name here] is going to tell Santa if they don't. Kids believe you (what? have they seen that thing?!?) and they behave. Sometimes.

Our elf is named Walt. Of course he is. We give things Disney names every chance we can in this household. It's a miracle my kids weren't name Cinderella and Snow White. Honestly.

Anyway, back to the elf.

It's supposed to work like this: Read the book one night (about a month before Christmas) and then POOF! The elf "appears" the next morning, presumably from the North Pole where apparently Santa has minions of creepy plastic elves at his disposal. And then, every night after the munchkins have stopped fighting and whining gone to bed, mom and dad is supposed to remember to move the darn elf.

And if you're on Pinterest you have surely seen all the super creative who-has-that-much-time-on-their-hands "Elf on the Shelf ideas" ... such as Elf playing board games with other toys. Or Elf sitting on the toilet reading a comic book (which leaves me scratching my head, because since you aren't supposed to move the elf, for fear of killing his magic, does this mean you give up a toilet for an entire day?!?).  Or Elf making "snow angels" in flour on your kitchen cupboard (oh the mess!).

I look at those photos and shake my head. I can't remember to move the elf every night, let alone come up with witty, creative, Martha Stewart like ideas for the little guy.

I dread Pinterest right now.
Why?
Because I'm failing the Elf on the Shelf this year.

Instead of whimsical fairy tale themed elf fun....this is what really happens with the elf in our house: I find the elf in the back of my closet the day after Thanksgiving and think "Crap. It's that time of year again." I tell the kids to find the book so they can read it so Walt can return from the North Pole. Kids find book and oldest reads it to youngest while I'm out, enjoying a mommy time out (read: two glasses of wine with dinner). And later that evening, I remember at 11 p.m. to put the elf out. (See photo above where Walt is scaling a tree a la Edward Cullen in Twilight). Kids are thrilled to find the elf at the top of the tree. The next night I forget (again!) to move the elf. And I wake up at 6 a.m. in the morning thinking "C.R.A.P. I forgot to move that thing." I tell Kevin to get up and to move it. He puts it way up high in the family room, right next to very breakable collector snow globes. Not his best moment. But hey, at least the elf has moved.

And the magic can continue....

And the next night?
Yeah.
I forgot to move the thing again.
Seriously.
Let's see if I can remember tonight.
Odds are, probably not.