8.28.2013

The Only Mouse I Can Handle is Mickey Mouse

So this week has been somewhat of a challenge when it comes to patience and my nerves. First, on Sunday afternoon we discover that there is a leak somewhere above our laundry room. The only thing above our laundry room is the master bath...so we call a plumber.

When I say I've never wanted to kick two people out of my house as much as I did on Sunday I am not exaggerating. These "plumbers" (if they were really even plumbers) show up and proceed to use their SMARTPHONE FLASHLIGHT APP to look up into the bowels of the house. Yes, that's right. They didn't use a real flashlight. Then they proceed to scratch their heads in pure confusion, unable to figure out where the leak could be.

As an aside - the drain for our shower is DIRECTLY ABOVE the laundry room cabinet where water was leaking.

So, their conclusion - we need a complete bathroom remodel. In BOTH BATHROOMS. Because "you just never know" what might happen and the only way to really fix the problem is to "rip everything out" and start over.

Um no.
That's not going to happen.

And, $75 later (apparently even though they didn't do any work there was a "service call" because it was a Sunday), Dumb and Dumber left my house. (And the company received a "D" rating on Angie's List from me).

Next, we talk to our neighbor who just happens to be a contractor. He comes over, takes one look and says "it's probably the drain in the shower. No need for a major bathroom remodel, just keep an eye on it and let me know if it leaks again."

Fast forward to Monday morning. It leaked again. A lot. So...we call the neighbor again and he comes over and says "I can't figure out where the water is coming from." But he tells us to take everything out of the other cabinet in the laundry room and he'll come back.

We do that. Kevin finds mouse poop in the cabinet.
I try to ignore that minor detail and just clean out the cabinet.

This morning our cat, Quinn, is standing on the dryer looking at that cabinet, meowing. So...I open said cabinet and am suddenly staring into the very small beady eyes OF A REAL LIVE MOUSE.

Oh. My. Holy. Hell.
There. Is. A. Mouse. In. My. House.

I'm quite certain I screamed and slammed the cupboard. The cat looks at me as if I've gone mad. I call Kevin "OHMYGODTHEREISAMOUSEINTHECABINET!CALLSOMEONE!"

As I sit and wait to hear if and when an exterminator is coming, I can HEAR THE MOUSE in the cabinet. It's mocking me. I hear it squeaking. And chewing. And then I see its tail flop out between the cabinet doors. And I scream again. Much louder this time. I'm sure if the windows had been open someone would have called the police.

So...I taped the cabinet doors closed. With Scotch tape because, you know, that holds everything securely. That's right friends. I taped the cabinet doors with tape that barely holds wrapping paper together. Just in case that mouse wanted to make a run for it.

Thankfully, the exterminators arrived and started setting up traps - with Slim Jims NOT peanut butter because Olivia is allergic to peanuts! - and as he untaped the cupboard I said "I know that mouse is still in there. Mocking me." He laughed and re-taped the cupboard after setting the traps.

And sure enough....the mouse was still in there. I could hear it squeaking. I think the one exterminator really thought I had lost my mind, but then the other guy opens the cupboard and THERE IT WAS. A tiny little gray mouse. Who met his maker as soon as Exterminator #2 slapped a glue trap on top of him. I could hear the little bugger squeaking as he was escorted out of my house.

Friends, I kid you not. I have never been so creeped out in my life. And now we have 20 traps set around the house. And I swear if I hear one SNAP! today I will run screaming out of my house.

Oh, and the shower drain? Yeah. It's still not fixed.

Leaky drains and squeaky mice...that's been my week so far.

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