True Dud - Otherwise Known as My Thoughts on the Less-Than-Stellar Series Finale of 'True Blood'

SPOILER ALERT. 

If you have not yet watched the season finale (or any episode of this season's True Blood) you need to stop reading. Right. Freaking. Now. You have been warned. 

I'm a very fickle television watcher and it's a rare thing when a show can hold my interest for more than a season or two.

I used to watch Grey's Anatomy. Then I stopped and never really went back. I was a HUGE fan of LOST when it started and then it sort of jumped the shark and I quit. But then I went back and it sort of redeemed itself with a not-too-bad finale.

The Sopranos? Watched it all. Hated the finale. Seriously a fade-to-black ending. Not OK..even with a kick ass song playing. Sex and the City? Great ending. And two movies to really wrap it up (one was WAY better than the other).

Other shows I have stuck with - Breaking Bad (binge watched...GREAT finale), The Walking Dead, Bones, and well that's about it. Like I said...I'm fickle.

But there is ONE show that kept me interested for SEVEN YEARS.

True Blood.

I read the books first, then binge watched the first season on DVD before "binge watching" was cool. And...I. Was. Hooked.

Vampire Bill. Eric the Viking. Sookie. Pam. Lafayette. They were my people for the last seven years even through a couple really, really horrid seasons. I had high hopes for the series finale after the last few episodes this season.

I initially wanted Sookie to end up with Bill because that's how it should be.

(In retrospect I now think she should have ended up with Alcide in the end but since they killed him off midway through the season that wasn't happening. Stupid writers.)

What I didn't want was the train wreck, feel good, everyone-but-Bill gets a happy ending nonsense that we were served last night.

What the hell were the writer's thinking? We had maybe FIVE MINUTES of Eric and Pam in the whole finale. Five freaking minutes for the Norse vampire god? Not acceptable. (Although the scene of him in the car was priceless). And maybe 20 seconds of Lafayette? Hello? He was the best thing in every episode he was part of ... he deserved more than a passing glance at the end.

And that brings us to Sookie and Bill. ("Sookeh is MINE"...still my favorite line).

I get (sort of) that giving them a happily ever after might not have worked. But they could have ended it in several ways: (1) Let Sookie use her "fairy light" but instead of killing Bill it humanizes him. Not so far-fetched if you look at the history of weirdness that is True Blood. Or, (2) Have Sookie kill Bill. But, instead of offing Alcide a few episodes ago they could have kept him (since the vampire and the fairy weren't ending up together!) and he could have come back to Sookie and they could have ended up together having werewolf/fae babies, living happily ever after.

Anything would have been better than the stake-Bill-in-his-coffin-flashforward-three-years-stupidity that we were served up last night.

It was as satisfying as a warm bottle of New Blood would be.

ICK.

In the history of series finales last night's True Blood debacle ranks at the top of the crap pile. I demand a re-write. Or at least a movie so we can figure out who the nameless, faceless dude is that Sookie ends up marrying.

RIP Vampire Bill.