You used to be much more muchier

I know, my blogging has been rather, um, spotty lately.

As in...I haven't been blogging.

At all.

It's just that, well, um.....OK, I have no valid excuses.

Other than this - I've been busy and life has been crazy and quite frankly I haven't had much to say.

I think I'm in a bit of a funk.

I watched 'Alice in Wonderland' again tonight (no, not the cartoon...this time...the Tim Burton version).
My favorite line is this - "you have lost your muchness".

I can relate to that.

I used to be much more muchier.
I think I may have lost some of my muchness.
And I haven't found it.
Yet.

I've been in a bit of a slump the last few weeks.

The job is not what I thought it would be. I'm not excited about it. (The fact that it is now a part-time job rather than the full-time job it was supposed to be is just the tip of the iceberg).

Emma is not adjusting to daycare - every day she asks if she can stay home with me. And she cries. Every. Single. Morning. If she's going to daycare, she's crying. It breaks my heart.

Also, I'm dealing with a strained neck.
(You will love this story.)
I fell at Disney World last month on our vacation. I mean, I FELL. Banged up my knee, broke my camera (sort of). It was ugly. (But, on the upside, I did catch the whole thing on film. Priceless.)

Since then, I've been dealing with serious neck pain...so five weeks after I fell, I decided to go see the doctor.
Diagnosis: Strained neck.
I'm now taking muscle relaxers and doing neck exercises so I can avoid physical therapy.
But if you've never had neck pain before, let me tell you ... it is horrid. Sitting at a computer all day, 3 days a week is so painful. I am hoping I heal soon.

Let's add this up:
Job that doesn't make the grade + unhappy kids + neck pain = stressed out mommy looking for her muchness.

Yep. Majorly funky here. And not in a good way.

So...when I'm in a funk, my writing suffers.
And when my writing suffers, this blog suffers.
And that makes me unhappy.

And there it is...in a nutshell.
Life is a bit crazy and messy right now.

However....

I have great friends who are helping me keep my chin up.
(Thank you to JL for reminding me that this year is MY year!)
And, I am still hoping to find my dream job.
When I do, I think I will once again find my "muchness".

Until then....I'm going to 'just keep swimming....'