So now what?
Scores came in the mail today. Not my best showing ever, obvioulsy. Best MBE score I've ever had (that's a multiple choice score for you non-bar-takers). And yet, I had two essays that were scored a "1". Yep, that's right. A ONE. So basically the examiners thought I didn't even show up for those two questions. Funny, I remember answering them.
And so now I have to figure out what's next. I really want to be a lawyer -- that's why I spent three years of my life in law school. I could've done something else with my time - like be gainfully employed. But I chose to further my education. And I got a nice J.D. out of it -- a degree that is essentially worthless unless it's attached to that state law license.
But, in order to get to the license I'd have to take the bar exam yet again. And I don't know that I can do that (or if I want to do that).
I hate quitting, it's just not in me.
But I also don't see the point in beating a dead horse. And I'm wondering if that's what this has all become.
Do I want to spend the next 2 1/2 months studying all the time, missing out on more time with my family - only to risk yet another possible devastating result in November? Or, do I quit now and forever be known as the one who went to law school and failed to ever become a lawyer?
Really, what do you do when the career path you want to choose is continually filled with roadblocks and failures? How do you give up on something you've worked so hard and so long for?
The whole situation just really sucks.
This might sound really silly but consider it a second. It almost seems like you have over studied. My one daughter did that frequently and realized that when she did over study she not only put more stress on her but when the tests came she started to second guess herself. I realize the bar exam is much harder than SAT or ACT's...but you have spent a great deal of time each time studying for the Bar.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you should go for 7 differently. Granted I only know you from this blog but it seems to me that you are a very smart woman so the issue might be the stress and pressure related to the test rather than you not studying enough.
Granted you'd still have the expense of the test and staying in Columbus for the test but if you didn't study that much for the next time...Sometimes when something doesn't work out the way you want it to it's not that you should stop trying for your dream but that you have to look at how you tried to reach it.
I didn't want to comment earlier because I knew I couldn't offer anything but empty platitutdes and that wouldn't help.
:-)
I unilaterally declare that you must NOT give up. Just forget about the number (e.g, the number of times that you have taken it). Forget it. Try something new. I heartily recommend PMBR and Essay Advantage. There's no way that you aren't smart enough to pass or to be an attorney. Regroup and believe in yourself, because you have every reason to. I mean it. I know you're no quitter. You can and you WILL do it.
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