A secret? Not so much.....

All right, so the fact that I am once again taking the Ohio bar exam is probably the worst-kept secret in the midwest, if not the entire United States.

When I made the decision way back in April to put myself thru the mental torture that is the bar, I thought it would be better if no one knew. No one that is but my family. And Tori (such a great cheerleader) - because she had gone thru it with me in February (and passed!!).

Then I had to tell a few friends, because they all kept asking "so, what are you going to do about the bar?" Well, I couldn't just lie to them (no, really...I couldn't). So I had to fess up and tell them I was taking it again.

And the list of people just kept on growing. I'm working on a campaign here in town and had to tell them why I was unavailable for the month of July. I had to tell the editor of the Toledo Free Press why I can't get him a column until the end of next week. I had to tell my OB-Gyn why I needed to not be so sick with morning sickness.

By the end of May, the word was spreading like wildfire. And my best intentions, to lessen the stress on me by lessening the number of people who knew, were shot to hell.

So basically, just about everyone knows. And if I didn't tell you personally, I am very sorry. But honestly, I lost track of who I had told and who I hadn't.

And on top of the bar exam "secret" I was also keeping my pregnancy under wraps until just last week. The two things that I wanted/needed to blog about were the two things that I wasn't talking about.

And so, my stress level is not so great right now. I'm trying to remain calm in the face of this beast of a test, but it's not easy. Especially considering that my entire study schedule went up in flames two weeks after I found out I was pregnant. I was so sick throughout the month of June that I barely got in 2 hours a day of studying. And 50 - 100 multiple choice questions a day? Yeah, who are you kidding? At least I got about 600 done in the month of May. Not that it's going to help any.

I've been reading my outlines like mad. I'm taking many, many notes -- just getting it all fresh in my head. And yet, I still feel totally unprepared for Tuesday morning. I'm really hoping that little "Bean" is a good luck charm and helps me pass.

On a positive note, I am finally able to eat like a "normal" person (ok, a normal pregnant person). My doctor put me on Nexium (the little purple pill) and it really is a miracle drug for acid reflux. I have not had to eat TUMS in a week!!!!!!!!!!!!

To prove that I'm feeling better, I went grocery shopping today. The cravings got the better of me. Double Stuff Oreos, chocolate chip cookie mix (made those today), apples, grapes and KIX cereal. So very weird, I know. Hey, at least I bought some fruit (and I intend on eating it too).

And so there it is. I'm 3 months pregnant, craving Double Stuff Oreos and am taking the bar exam next week. I must be crazy.

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