Disclaimer: If any men happen to read my blog, you MIGHT want to skip this post. It's girl talk...bathing suits, bras and boobs.)
There are two things I absolutely HATE shopping for - bathing suits and bras. OK, you can add blue jeans to that mix too. Trying on bathing suits, bras and blue jeans is awful. It's depressing. It's enough to make me want to have a cocktail at 11:30 in the morning.
But, since we're headed to Disney in 11 days, I needed to go shopping.
For a bathing suit.
There was no avoiding this reality.
The last time I bought a new bathing suit, Emma was 5 months old and my body was so NOT "bathing suit ready" ... and well, it's still not.
But yesterday my mom, sister and I went on an all-day shopping trip. We had lists. We had a plan. And so, at Dillard's I just started grabbing suits off the rack and headed into the dressing room. Come hell or high water, I was going to find a suit --- cellulite and stretch marks be damned.
Know this: I have two kids. I am 30 pounds heavier than I was when I got married. I am a size 14-16 on a good day. I have curves. I have boobs (more on that later). I have jiggly thighs. I will NEVER be a size 6. Never.
And so, when I pick out bathing suits, I have a few "rules" - it must cover my midsection (no one needs to see those stretch marks), it must cover my butt and the tops of my thighs and it must have underwire in the top (the girls need support!).
And I don't do one piece suits. Call me "old" or "unfashionable" but I like the tankini.
There I admitted it.
So, back to the fitting room. I tried on a little black number that fit all of the "requirements." And it was black. So that was good (because you know, black is slimming...HAHAHA). I was ready to buy it when my mom said "wait, try this one." Pink top, brown skirt...um....I don't know. But I forged ahead and moved outside my "comfort zone" of black bathing suits and .... what do you know..I loved the bathing suit.
Could it be? I found TWO suits that I felt good in? Me and my size 14-16 curves were feeling pretty in two different bathing suits...this was a good day.
Well, it was a good day until we ended up in the bra department. I swear...I don't think I've ever been in the "right" size bra. We had this discussion at work the other day (WHAT? When you work in an all-woman office THESE are the things you talk about at lunch). We were laughing (and lamenting) at the fact that those of us who were "blessed" up top are always trying to minimize what we have while other women are PAYING to get what we were given naturally. That just seems crazy, right?
So anyway...back to my adventure. I grab a few samples in what I think is the right size and head to the dressing room. Nothing fits. I'm overflowing..and it's a minimizer. This can't be good. I go back and grab some more in a different style/brand and still no success. At this point I'm waiting for Oprah and her bra brigade to burst into the dressing room with their measuring tapes.
Finally the very nice sales woman offers to help. I tell her what I like and don't like as far as style. She brings in a few samples and they seem to fit. But then she says those dreaded words: "I think you need to go up one size." NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And she doesn't mean just one size like 38 to 40. She also means one size like D to DD.
Holy boobs, Batman.
But, as any good curvy girl should do, I take this news in stride. After all, at least my husband will be happy to hear this news.
While I might have mildly freaked out ... I realized it really isn't about the number or the size. It's about how I feel in the clothes.
I know I will never be a size 6.
I will never be a 34B again (I was, 20 years ago in high school).
I have curves.
And stretch marks.
And it's about time I accept those things and move on.