Still wishing on a star

Where to begin?

How about the beginning.

Waaaay back in September 2007 I found a little blurb on the Walt Disney World website announcing the Walt Disney World Moms Panel .. it was going to be a group of "moms" whose passion for Disney made them the go-to Disney vacation planning expert in their family/neighborhood/office/city.

Of course, I applied.

A few weeks later I received an email saying "thanks for applying" but I wasn't chosen to move on. Repeat the same events for September 2008....with the same results. Both times I was bummed out, but I knew there would be another chance.

In 2009, just as the Disney online community seemed to explode, I again applied for the Moms Panel. This time, I made it to Round 2. I was thrilled. Elated. On cloud 9. I was thisclose to realizing my dream of being a member of the Walt Disney World Moms Panel.

During this time I was also becoming friends with some of the most incredible people I know ... we had connected through our love for Disney, but the connection was so much deeper. I count these people as my confidants, my sounding boards, my cheerleaders, but most importantly, my FRIENDS.

As anyone who reads this blog knows, I did not make it past Round 2 for the Moms Panel that year. I was, in a word, devastated. I really, truly felt like that was my year to make the panel. But, it was not meant to be.

Last year when September rolled around, it was once again time to apply for the Moms Panel. As much as I held out hope that I'd receive the coveted Round 2 email, I had resigned myself to the fact that my answers were not worthy of moving past the first round. And I was right. That being said, I was still crushed when I received the dreaded "thanks but no thanks" email.

This year I went into the application process with a renewed sense of faith, trust and pixie dust. I was ready to give it my all...and I really, truly thought I did. I let my love of Disney shine through in my answers..and yet, it still wasn't enough.

This afternoon we were shocked to discover that the Round 2 emails were going out for the 2012 Moms Panel search. On a Saturday. And so, I glued myself to my computer...simultaneously checking my email, Facebook, Twitter, and the DIS boards for about 90 minutes.

This year I was hoping, wishing, and hoping some more that I would at least make it to Round 2. That my love and passion for Disney would shine through in my 100 word answers. That I would have a chance.

That was not what happened. At 3:46 p.m. I received the "thank you" email. I knew as soon as I saw the subject line that my Moms Panel dreams were dashed once again.

As disappointed as I was last year, this year is different for some reason. I am shockingly more disappointed and sad this year. It's not a feeling of rejection, it's more a feeling of "what in the world am I doing/saying wrong?" and "why not me?"

Yes, I guess I am having a little pity party over here for myself.

This Moms Panel dream ... it's a big dream.
It's magical.
And it's wonderful.
And for another year, it's just a dream.
And quite honestly, it's a hard pill to swallow this time around.

I'm a firm believer in "if you dream it, you can do it"...but right now I have to wonder if maybe my dream is just unattainable. What if it's not a "realistic" dream, but is instead something will forever remain just out of reach? I know some of this is just me being cynical at this moment, but it's hard to feel completely positive tonight.

I want this so very much.
More than I've wanted anything in a very long time.
Maybe I want it too much?
Is it possible to dream too much?
To think the nearly impossible is almost possible?
I don't know.

What I do know is at this very moment MY dream, my Disney Moms Panel dream, is over for another year and I don't quite know what to do about it.

For the time being, I'm going to cry some more tears and then drown my sorrows in many Halloween Oreos.

And maybe next week, or the week after that, I'll allow myself to dream about the Moms Panel once again.


  1. I think you should run/walk a 5K! yes, that's totally what you should do about it! What could be more thrilling than following a grueling training schedule and waking up at oh my god it's early to skip through Epcot with your friends to receive a glorious plastic medal at the finish line!!

    Hrmmm... okay, maybe that's not the best sales pitch, but we'd have a ton of fun!!

    Do it... Dooooo iiiiit!

    Traci's hubby, if you read this... she should do it!

  2. Yes! Yes! I agree with Kristen! In fact, let's ALL go do it!!! We can hold hands and skip briefly for a minute! It will be awesome!

    Seriously though, I wanted to be on the Moms Panel soooooo badly last year and I really thought it was my year! But, alas, it was not. It was a harder fall from the second round than it was from the first round, as you experienced in 2009. I was absolutely crushed. I didn't let it kill my dream though. It's still there and hopefully I'm chasing it fast enough to make it all the way this year.

    Keep your chin up, my dear friend! You are totally awesome and I don't believe that it is EVER possible to dream too much! <3

  3. Kristen and Jackie - You are both amazing and I'm so happy I can call you "friend"...and yes...I think the Princess 5K is exactly what I need!!!

    Let's do this! :)

  4. Learning that you were not selected to advance to Round 2 absolutely floored me. I am a frequent visitor of the Disboards and you are the best!! So positive and knowledgeable :) I applied for the Mom's Panel as well and this was my fourth year to apply but I have never made it past Round 1. I was very confident in my answers this year but it still was not good enough for advancement, yet again. It does make you wonder how someone else's answer was really that much better... or was it just that my application was the 989th one that was read by Judge #3 after 2 weeks of reading and they just tossed it aside! (Yeh, that must've been it ;) Whatever the case may be, it's not my year. So, until next year Traci!! ((hugs))

  5. Tricia...thank you so much for your kind words...they made me smile. :)

    I am convinced that next year is our year! (6th time WILL be the 'charm' for me). LOL

    See you on the DIS!