It's Called Sarcasm.

So here's the thing about blogging. I put my life out here for all the world a few people to see. Quite honestly I don't expect everyone to like what I write and I totally 1000% understand that blogging means I open myself up to the occasional rude/uninformed/ridiculous comment.

You know, like the comment that was left on my 'Nutcracker' post earlier today.

I'm talking about the comment that called Emma "rude" (by the way...she's SIX YEARS OLD) and called me "appalling" because I wrote that I wished I had bronchitis so I could have bothered The Grinch with my never-ending cough.

That's appalling behavior apparently. Because ya know, I WAS TOTALLY SERIOUS about wishing I had acute bronchitis after just recovering from a TWO WEEK BOUT OF IT during which I nearly coughed up both lungs.

Yeah.
It's not appalling. 
It's called SARCASM.

Merriam-Webster defines sarcasm as: "the use of words to mean the opposite of what you really want to say especially in order to insult someone, to show irritation, or to be funny." 

For anyone who might not know me (oh yeah, like the people who leave me comments calling my kid rude)...I am the Queen of Sarcasmville. I rule the kingdom of Sarcasm. I have a PhD in sarcasm studies. And this:

My post yesterday about The Nutcracker and The Grinch was dripping, oozing, drowning in sarcasm. Perhaps things would just be easier if there was a sarcasm font available...then I wouldn't have to spend time writing posts that explain sarcasm to the unknowing public.

Or maybe I'll start a "ratings guide" for my blog posts. You know, "S" for contains sarcasm, "ML" for may contain mature language..things like that. Perhaps that would make it easier for some people to understand. (Better yet: If the post is typed in Comic Sans font, just know it's all sarcasm.)

Just so we're clear....my wish to have bronchitis so I could cough uncontrollably for TWO AND A HALF HOURS (which would have likely landed me in the ER, by the way)...was sarcasm. I wrote it to be funny and to vent my irritation with the moron sitting next to me at The Nutcracker.

Why? Because he annoyed me. He annoyed two entire rows of people at the show. He reported little kids to the usher. And because I can write about anything I damn well want to on my blog.

Yes, I'm a blogger which means I write posts where anyone who wants to can leave a comment and tell me how much I suck at life, how horrible my writing is, how appalling my behavior is in certain well-bred circles, and on and on.

However....I'll make this really simply for anyone who might be having problems understanding. I've said it before and I'll say it again: This is MY blog. I will write about anything I want and I will be as sarcastic as I please and if you can't comprehend the tone inferred in my posts perhaps this isn't the right blog for you. (And I'll let you know when that sarcasm font starts working).

But do not think for a second that the comment box gives you the right to leave negative comments about my kids. Because I can guarantee that if anyone verbally attacks my children, I will put on my Mama Grizzly Pants and defend them publicly if necessary.

And no, that is NOT sarcasm.