So last night I'm doing my "normal" Monday night television routine - which means I was watching the amazing trainwreck known at 'The Bachelorette. (Don't judge, I know it is mindless television but it's an addiction).
Anyway, at about 9 p.m. (just as soon-to-be-rejected bachelor Nick wants to show Kaitlyn the gift he has for her in the bedroom!!!!) the local news breaks into the show for BREAKING NEWS.
Now, in the summer in Toledo BREAKING NEWS at 9 p.m. can mean one of two things: severe weather or water crisis.
Remember last August when we couldn't drink or bathe in the city's water supply for THREE DAYS? Yeah, that was a lot of fun.
Well, last night's BREAKING NEWS was to let us know that while they have detected the microcystin IN THE LAKE (an amount equal to one half of a blade of grass on a football field) the drinking water in the city is still "safe to consume."
I bet it is.
Have you smelled the water lately?
It smells like chemicals.
And when you shower in it there is a nasty film left behind on your skin.
Safe? Not so much.
I always love news conferences that start with something like "OK first let's just put it out there - the water is safe to drink...BUT...."
Yeah, but....we found some toxins 3 miles out in the lake and we're making sure to keep the water safe for all the residents.
Uh-huh. Sure you are.
Look I get it, the mayor wants to be totally transparent and keep all of us informed about what is going on with the water.
But let's think about this for a minute, shall we? The local news channels have been promoting the "one year anniversary" of the 2014 water crisis for at least a week now. And all the stations and our "newspaper" have been talking for weeks on end about how the algae is out there in the lake but it's not bad. Yet.
So you have nearly half a million residents of Toledo and the surrounding areas remembering what it was like last August while the media keeps shoving it in our faces with photos and video of the nasty green lake water. And now you're going to break into the nightly TV programming with a BREAKING NEWS report to tell us the water is safe?
Yeah. I'm almost buying that.
I sent Kevin to the store last night to buy more bottled water.
So far we have about 13 cases of bottled water in the basement - which means we're ready for the next water crisis or the zombie apocalypse - whichever comes first.