This is how I feel right now....

Um yeah.
So, life is a bit crazy lately.

The job is keeping me busy.
I feel stretched in a million different directions every night when I get home.

No, I'm not asking for sympathy.
I'm not complaining about having a job.
I'm just trying to figure out how in the hell I'm supposed to balance it all and not lose my mind.

I have this horrible sense of mommy guilt -- on Monday through Friday I literally see my kids for about 30 minutes in the morning before shipping them off to daycare for the entire day. And then I get home from work at 6 p.m., cook dinner, eat dinner, bathe the kids and then it's bedtime. (For them, not me.)

I miss them every day when I'm work. I try to not think about it too much - I know they are making friends at daycare and Olivia starts first grade in a month and that will be a whole new adventure for her.

However, I will admit, every single day I think how wonderful it would be if I could stay home with them.

But I can't.
I need to work.
Our family budget requires that I work.
And I KNOW that I am lucky to even have a job in this economy.

I just wish that I could clone myself at times so that one of me could work and earn a paycheck and the other me could stay home with the kids.

And yes, I know that I'm not the first mommy to feel this way.
I just needed to get this down on 'paper' and get it all out.

I know that I'm in a 'transition' period...adjusting to the new job and all the changes that come along with it.

I will figure it out.
I hope.


  1. Big hug. You're not alone.

    I saw Lila for about 45 minutes last night/after work and you're right... it ain't easy.

    I hope you find the balance. When you do, let us all know the secrets of your success. :)

  2. If it makes you feel better, i stay at home and STILL have Mommy guilt.... that the summer is almost over and we haven't done anything, that I yell at them too much (due to stress w/ the new baby), that I don't play with them when I should make an effort.... oh the list goes on and on.

    Do any of us find a healthy balance? Probably not. We're all just doing the best we can.