Sunshine, pool time and pina coladas

After the longest, coldest, snowiest, most miserable winter (and spring) in memory...today's heat and humidity were actually a relief. Yes, it was probably about 95 degrees with 1,000% humidity, but I didn't care.

Why is it that this sudden onset of summer (skipping spring altogether) didn't bother me?

Let me count the ways....

1. I wasn't at work so that right there made it a good day.
2. I was with my family ... adds to the goodness of the day.
3. We spent most of the day at the pool .... where I spent most of the day in the shade. (Yes, I am anti-sun for the most part. I see no need to be tan).
4. While at the pool, I had a really yummy pina colada...at about 1:30 in the afternoon. Yeah, that's the life.

I did have a #mommyfail today - both kids are sunburned. I applied the SPF 50 over and over again today...but they are still sporting red cheeks, red noses, and in Emma's case, a sunburned lower back. [sigh] I feel like a bad, bad mommy.

I hope you all had a lovely Memorial Day with family and friends.

Here's to a great summer. :)

Bathing suits and bras ... a lesson in shopping

Disclaimer: If any men happen to read my blog, you MIGHT want to skip this post. It's girl talk...bathing suits, bras and boobs.)

There are two things I absolutely HATE shopping for - bathing suits and bras. OK, you can add blue jeans to that mix too. Trying on bathing suits, bras and blue jeans is awful. It's depressing. It's enough to make me want to have a cocktail at 11:30 in the morning.

But, since we're headed to Disney in 11 days, I needed to go shopping.
For a bathing suit.
There was no avoiding this reality.
The last time I bought a new bathing suit, Emma was 5 months old and my body was so NOT "bathing suit ready" ... and well, it's still not.

But yesterday my mom, sister and I went on an all-day shopping trip. We had lists. We had a plan. And so, at Dillard's I just started grabbing suits off the rack and headed into the dressing room. Come hell or high water, I was going to find a suit --- cellulite and stretch marks be damned.

Know this: I have two kids. I am 30 pounds heavier than I was when I got married. I am a size 14-16 on a good day. I have curves. I have boobs (more on that later). I have jiggly thighs. I will NEVER be a size 6. Never.

And so, when I pick out bathing suits, I have a few "rules" - it must cover my midsection (no one needs to see those stretch marks), it must cover my butt and the tops of my thighs and it must have underwire in the top (the girls need support!).

And I don't do one piece suits. Call me "old" or "unfashionable" but I like the tankini.
There I admitted it.
Move on.

So, back to the fitting room. I tried on a little black number that fit all of the "requirements." And it was black. So that was good (because you know, black is slimming...HAHAHA). I was ready to buy it when my mom said "wait, try this one." Pink top, brown skirt...um....I don't know. But I forged ahead and moved outside my "comfort zone" of black bathing suits and .... what do you know..I loved the bathing suit.

Could it be? I found TWO suits that I felt good in? Me and my size 14-16 curves were feeling pretty in two different bathing suits...this was a good day.

Well, it was a good day until we ended up in the bra department. I swear...I don't think I've ever been in the "right" size bra. We had this discussion at work the other day (WHAT? When you work in an all-woman office THESE are the things you talk about at lunch). We were laughing (and lamenting) at the fact that those of us who were "blessed" up top are always trying to minimize what we have while other women are PAYING to get what we were given naturally. That just seems crazy, right?

So anyway...back to my adventure. I grab a few samples in what I think is the right size and head to the dressing room. Nothing fits. I'm overflowing..and it's a minimizer. This can't be good. I go back and grab some more in a different style/brand and still no success. At this point I'm waiting for Oprah and her bra brigade to burst into the dressing room with their measuring tapes.

Finally the very nice sales woman offers to help. I tell her what I like and don't like as far as style. She brings in a few samples and they seem to fit. But then she says those dreaded words: "I think you need to go up one size." NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And she doesn't mean just one size like 38 to 40. She also means one size like D to DD.

Holy boobs, Batman.
Double D.

But, as any good curvy girl should do, I take this news in stride. After all, at least my husband will be happy to hear this news.

While I might have mildly freaked out ... I realized it really isn't about the number or the size. It's about how I feel in the clothes.

I know I will never be a size 6.
I will never be a 34B again (I was, 20 years ago in high school).
I have curves.
And boobs.
And stretch marks.
And it's about time I accept those things and move on.

So much for "Maybe"

Yeah...it's almost June.
And I blogged twice this month.

You know what that is?
That is a #BloggyFail

I had great intention, certainly.
But once again here I am.
Blogging about how I suck at blogging.

It's shocking to me that people still come to this blog.
But, according to my stats, there are still some of you out there.

And I thank you from the bottom of my bloggy heart for sticking by me.
And for sticking with my blog.

You deserve a gold star.
Or a candy bar.
Or my undying love and devotion.

This has just been a weird, wacky month.
The last two weeks have been a blur, quite honestly.

I had a few days off work when my grandma died.
And then, the day after her funeral I took a sick day.
To regroup.
I wasn't really sick.
I actually didn't know what day it was.

Then I went back to work on May 12.
And it sucked.
A lot.

I was totally behind in all my projects.
I really didn't want to be at the office, let alone dealing with the drama that seems to ooze from the walls.

And then, on Friday the 13, I sent an e-mail to our CEO, suggesting a topic for the "message" she adds to our newsletter. I ended the e-mail with this "I'm not sure what you think of this idea. Let me know and we can discuss it more." Seems like a NORMAL way to end an e-mail, no? (Especially since we're always being told to ACT like the CEO is just a "regular person" like the rest of us minions).

Yeah.
This is the e-mail I received in response from my boss.
Who is NOT the CEO.

I would have liked to see that suggestion presented in a way that projected confidence in your idea. Now I am afraid that [the CEO] will in turn lack confidence in it when I don't think it's a bad idea. I would like to see you, as a communications expert, telling her what you think she should communicate. I want you to see yourself as the manager of our communications, NOT an editor of others' ideas.

Excuse me?
I lacked confidence?
I have to admit, my response back to my boss was a bit snarky and bitchy and I ended it with this: "Sorry if I sounded like I wasn't being confident in my ideas, it's been a very long week." Yeah, I played THAT card. Sue me. I wasn't in the mood for office politics and bullying.

And yes, in case you are wondering, this is what I deal with on a regular basis at work.

Oh and then, last week (a week AFTER being off work for the funeral) during a manager's meeting, this was said to me: "You are probably somewhat confused by what we are talking about, since you were UNABLE to be here last week."

Unable???
As if I had a choice?

I responded that my absence the week prior was UNAVOIDABLE. Which was met with stammering and stumbling over words and a whole lot of "Oh. Um. Well that's not what I meant."

Well, even if you didn't MEAN it, you said it.
So obviously you were thinking it.

You know what would make June so much better?
A new job.

Death and deli trays

My grandma died last Friday.

It still seems weird to write that sentence...even though she was very sick and we knew she was going to die. Eventually.

Well, eventually happened last Friday morning at about 5:15 a.m.

The next few days were a blur of family, old photos, and lots of deli meat.

Yes, I said deli meat.

See, there's this weird thing that happens when people die.
Friends offer to bring the family food.
Lots and lots of food.

"I'm so sorry for your loss. Oh, and I brought you a casserole."

I get it....sort of.
Death makes people uncomfortable.
They send condolences, they hug you and then they aren't sure what else to do.
You can only say "I'm sorry for your loss" or "She is in a better place" so many times.

And so, not knowing what else to do....they send food.

In our case, it was deli trays.
I have never seen so much corned beef and pastrami.
I also never want to eat another bagel sandwich again.
NEVER.

It started Sunday - Mother's Day - when one of my mom's friends came by the house with a huge tray of deli meat, cheese, cole slaw, potato salad and three dozen bagels. [I should mention that we already had dinner planned - ham, macaroni and cheese, etc.]. Not knowing what else to do with ourselves, we made sandwiches. And then we ate dinner a few hours later.

Then, another friend brought a cake.
A very heavy cake.

Monday at the funeral home, another family friend delivered yet another deli tray.
This one came with at least four dozen bagels.

At one point my uncle joked that perhaps we should start handing out bagel sandwiches as people walked into the funeral home...

"Hi. Thanks for coming. Here's a pastrami sandwich."

I thought that was a good idea.
And, it made people laugh.

As strange as the food/funeral connection is to me, I know my family appreciated the gestures. We just won't be visiting the local bagel shop anytime soon.

MAYbe (I'll post more than once this month)

Hey....look who's blogging....ME!

Ugh. Same story, different month.
So I won't even go into the details about WHY my last two posts have been photos andwere the only two posts I "wrote" during the last two weeks of April.

Maybe, I suck at blogging.
But, there might be hope for me this month....

The theme of May's NaBloPoMo... the theme is "Maybe."
As in...

Maybe I won't be so stressed all the time.
Maybe I will win the lottery.
Maybe my job won't suck the joy out of me every day.
Maybe the temperatures will finally feel like spring.
And maybe....just maybe....I'll write more than two blog posts this month.