I saw this on Pinterest today and holy crap if it didn't speak VOLUMES to me.
Go ahead and read that statement slowly.
Then read it again.
And let it sink in.
"...choose to feel confident and adequate rather than angry and insecure."
So, I blogged last week about my new job and how excited I am about it. And all of this still rings true today - I am excited about the job. And also very nervous. Not only am I starting the new job, I am also starting another new position with a friend's congressional campaign - doing something I've NEVER done before.
One could say that I'm a big bundle of nerves right about now.
Now, truth be told, I am usually a very confident person. I usually think "oh yeah, I can totally do this" and then I just do it. And while I feel that way (for the most part) about the new social media marketing job, I am still nervous about it. And the other job? Oh holy crap...there's a whole new level of nervousness attached to that. I think I'm actually losing sleep over it.
And it's really (really) bothering me that I feel this way. I don't like feeling less-than-confident and very insecure about something. It makes me feel weak. And silly. And it makes me angry. I suppose feeling insecure is just human nature, but it's not in MY nature.
And talented enough.
And good enough.
I KNOW I can do these jobs and do them well. I know all of this. And yet.....I'm still sitting here feeling insecure and unsure and full of doubt about my abilities.
I know it's "normal" to feel nervous before starting ANY new job. I get that. But this goes way deeper for me. I think I am fearing failure this time. I felt such anger, anxiety, frustration, and weakness after what happened with the Green Polyester Trolls, and now I think these feelings, this insane nervousness, this total fear of failure is a direct result of what I had to deal with last year.
That leaves me wondering what I can do to NOT feel this way. And right now, I don't have an answer. I suppose it's just a matter of believing I can do these jobs and be successful. I need to trust in my own abilities and believe in myself more. Sometimes that just seems easier said than done.
Wish me luck.