Hotter than H-E-double hockey sticks

It's hot today.
Crazy. Stupid. HOT.

I only know this from watching the news and the Weather Channel during dinner. I haven't actually set foot outside today - I was working all day. Inside my air conditioned home office. Although, I did make the mistake of opening the sliding glass door at one point this afternoon and was immediately hit by a wall of sticky hot air.

That mistake was not repeated.

I'm sending my husband to Cold Stone very soon for ice cream...and hoping it doesn't melt before he gets home.

I swear I'll never complain about the cold ever, ever again.
Just make this heatwave go away.

Heatwave

Remember in February when I was complaining about the ice and snow and bitterly cold temps?
It was around that time when I swore I would not complain about the heat this summer, because we had nearly frozen solid during the winter.

Yeah well, I lied.
I am now going to complain about this heat.

Right now as I type this at 1:35 p.m., it is currently 98 degrees outside. The heat index is 106. It could get as high as 115 degree heat index.

That is H.O.T.
Fry an egg on the sidewalk hot.

I saw a weather related photo online today ... it said "Satan called. He wants his weather back."
Yeah, it's Hades-HOT out there.

The girls and I have been "trapped" in the house for the last few days because it's too hot to do anything outside. We haven't even ventured to the pool because, well, it's too hot.

Mother Nature, really. Why is this necessary? Why do you feel the need to cook us? Why can't we just have have "normal" summer temperatures for northwest Ohio? You know...like 85 and sunny? That would be much, much better.

It's crazy stupid hot outside and I don't like it one bit.

Baby it's HOT outside...and fans don't work

Yesterday the temperature here in good ol' northwest Ohio was "warmer" (read: WAY FREAKING HOTTER) than the temperature in Orlando, Florida. I know this because I have my "second home" (Orlando) saved as a favorite city on my Weather Channel app.

Yesterday it felt like it was at 100 degrees here with a billion percent humidity.
Orlando topped out around 90 degrees...with some humidity.

And...my office still has no air conditioning.
And by "no" I mean NONE.
As in both floors are out.
We used to have a/c on the first floor.
Now that appears to have died too.
We have resorted to using as many fans as possible in every office, corner and hallway.
It isn't working.

At about 8:35 yesterday the "boss" went around telling everyone on the 2nd floor to move down to the first floor conference room to work. (At that point it WAS cooler on the first floor...I am assuming the a/c was still working then.)

So picture this --- about 10 women all scattered around a conference room, trying to work. All women. All sitting next to each other at tables. A whole lot of talking going on. Not a whole lot of work. We rehashed "The Bachelorette" and what a total sleaze Bentley is. We talked about how FREAKING miserable we were and how STUPID it is that "the boss" refuses to let us wear flip flops to work when the "real feel" temp on the second floor is about 115 degrees.

Oh yeah...I forgot to mention ... we still have to FOLLOW THE DRESS CODE despite the fact that we have no a/c and will have no a/c until probably mid-July. So, we can't wear flip flops. But (and this makes so much sense....not) we can wear sandals. What? Huh? (This is how it was explained to us - "you can wear sandals that have a strap in the back around the ankle, but not flip flops because they don't have a strap." Yeah...this is the logic model I work for.)

Being the rebel that I am, I plan on wearing flip flops to work today.
Go ahead. Fire me.
I double dog dare you.

Today the actual temperature is forecast to be about 98 degrees with a heat index of 100 to 105. Which means the second floor of the office will be at least 120 degrees. At 10 a.m.

Yesterday I left the office at about 1 p.m. to work from the comfort of my air conditioned home. I have a feeling I'll be doing the same today. And tomorrow.

Because...when it's 1,000 degrees in your office, fans just don't cut it.