Grumpy

Yes, I'm grumpy.
I'm irritable.
I'm annoyed.

I've been on these stupid crutches and wearing this ridiculous walking boot since July 9. I will be stuck with them until July 30.

That is NINE MORE DAYS.

Nine more days of no driving. Of asking people to take me places. Of sending my husband to the grocery store.

Nine more days of being annoyed.

I have no idea if this whole walking-boot-crutches-non-weight-bearing nonsense is working. I'm still having pain in my ankle. It's not as swollen as it was, but it still hurts.

And NO. I'm not doing 100 percent non-weight bearing 100 percent of the time. Because I can't. I have to walk up the stairs without crutches. I have to stand in the shower on two feet. It is damn near impossible to NOT put weight on my foot at times.

Plus...have you seen me? There's no way I can NOT put weight on my foot. I mean, c'mon. I'm talented and all but damn I have CURVES. That isn't happening.

Also, I'm sick and tired of not being able to drive. I'm one of those annoying Type A independent I CAN DO THIS MYSELF!!! type of people. Which means when someone says "Oh, can I get you anything?" or "Let me know if you need help"....my response is going to be NO.

It's not that I don't appreciate the offers (I really do) ... it's just that I hate needing help. Like I really, really, really don't like it. At all.

I want to get in my car and run my own errands.
I want to go to the gym. (Never thought I'd say THAT...but I haven't been to the gym in TWO WEEKS and I actually miss working out. Which just makes me grumpier.)

And yes, I realize that I'm stubborn.
This is NOT a news flash.

So if you happen to see me or talk to me in the next nine days and I seem a bit a lot grumpy, don't take it personally.

I'm just in a bad mood.

Four Years

This was in my Time Hop today:

Four years ago today I quit my job with the Trolls. I sent my resignation via email to the corporate office in Cincinnati, told the regional manager I was quitting, packed up my office, and walked out of the WORST. JOB. IN. THE. HISTORY. OF. EVER.

That Facebook post seen above was exactly how I felt on July 18, 2011.

FREEDOM..
Four year ago.

It's crazy that it's been FOUR YEARS. A lot has happened since then.

Professionally, I've been working from home since 2012 and I love it.

The job I've been in for the past 2 1/2 years is the BEST JOB EVER and I thank my lucky stars every day for this job. I love what I'm doing. I work for someone who respects me and respects my work. I adore my co-workers - we're a TEAM even though we are scattered throughout the country.

So it seems that four years is the point in time where that old job is just a distant memory that can't have a negative effect on my anymore. In the 12 months after I quit I was still dealing with the damage that months of bullying did to me.

But now?

Now I trust my ability to do a good job.
I trust my ability as a writer.
I feel confident in my work.

And did I mention that I love my job?

Yeah. You know you're in the right job when you wake up every single morning and think "I can't wait to get to work." Two and a half years into this job and it still excites me. THAT is key to job happiness.

An Ode to January: Why Do You Have to Be Such a Jerk?

If it wasn't for the fact that January is the birth month of BOTH of my kids (yay, good planning!), I would hate the entire 31 days that make up this frigid, snowy, b*tch of a month.

As it is, I ONLY love two days in January - the 9th and the 24th. Other than that the month of January can suck it.

Today is January 6.
It was supposed to be the kids' second day back to school after winter break.

I say "supposed to be" because after receiving a paltry 1 to 1 1/2 inches of snow last night (that's all you've got Mother Nature?) THEY CANCELLED SCHOOL TODAY.

Seriously folks.

We live in freaking NORTHWEST OHIO. It snows from NOW UNTIL JUNE and you're going to close schools around the area because there's a little snow on the ground???

I. Just. Can't.

It's not like this snow was unexpected. They've been forecasting it for days - the weather guys have been practically giddy with excitement about the prospect of SNOW! And yet, the city plows are nowhere to be seen.

Nary a plow has cleared my neighborhood all morning.
And yet, the roads are NOT impassable.
It's literally an inch of snow.
The sun is shining.
Sure, it's COLD outside.
But it's WINTER.
And we LIVE IN OHIO.
Put on a freaking snowsuit and clear the roads.

And now we have just 4 more snow days for the entire year.
Way to go school system.
Way. To. Go.

Dear January: Suck it.

Lunchtime Ramblings on a Wednesday

Ever have one of those moments when you're doing something totally random and your mind goes back to something in the past and you end up having one of those "ah ha" moments?

Yeah?
No?

Well I did. And it went a little something like this...

As I'm sitting in my kitchen (my work spot for the day because sometimes you need a change of scenery) eating my salad for lunch (OK, let's be realistic, it was a bowl of lettuce and shredded cheese with ranch dressing) my mind drifted back to the 2011 Disney Social Media Moms.

At the conference we had the pleasure of hearing from Rene Syler and what she said changed the way I thought about my job at the time and made me really think about what I wanted to do with my professional life.

So as I'm noshing on my "salad" I remembered Rene telling us about how after suffering a lot of personal and professional challenges, she was eating $2 Lean Cuisine lunches in her "office closet" and realized she was happy. In fact, at the time, she had never been happier.

And I thought to myself - I think I'm finally at that point. I'm eating a bowl of lettuce with ranch dressing, wearing no makeup, hair is a hot mess, and I'm surrounded by to-do lists and story ideas for my job (a job that I L.O.V.E.) and holy crap....I. AM. HAPPY.

I think back to where I was when I attended that conference - working for a Bully, hating my job, feeling lost and miserable, feeling like nothing I did at work was good enough - and then I think about where I am right now.

I am doing what I love to do - writing - every single day. I work for someone who respects me and the other people who work for her. And I finally feel good great about the words I type every day.

And that my friends is a wonderful thing. As a writer I hated feeling like my words weren't good enough.

This lunchtime epiphany might not seem Earth-shattering to some, but it was kind of epic for me. It took me a long time to get over what happened to me. Being a victim is not a role I was meant to play and it took a toll on me. I doubted my talent, my abilities, my writing. I doubted myself.

But now, nearly three years later it's safe to say that the doubt is finally, really, totally gone. And I'm a much happier person than I was back then.

So there you have it.

This lunchtime ah-ha moment brought to you by a bowl of salad.

Funny how things work out, isn't it?

The One Where I Ponder What It Means to Be 41. Or Something Profound Like That.

So today is my 41st birthday.

Holy. Toledo.
I'm 41 years old.
I remember when that sounded OLD.

Now it just sounds "normal."
Like, yeah....I'm 41.
No big deal.

Last year when I turned 40 I was all "OMG! I'm turning 40. Whatever am I going to do?!?!?"

And now, a year later I'm all like..."Yeah, I'm 41. Whatevs."

I think I've finally decided that it's "just" a number and it's really no big deal.
So I'm 41 years old.
So what?

I have gray hair (which I color every 4 weeks to hide said gray hair). I have wrinkles (I think). I have stretch marks. My joints creak when I walk up or down the stairs. If I sit for too long I feel stiff in those same joints. I have arthritis (and probably carpal tunnel) in my right hand. It all comes with the territory.

I "almost" forgot it was my birthday. Yesterday I said to my husband "Oh yeah...tomorrow is my birthday." I have a tendency to forget things if I don't write them down. I prefer to think that is due to having too much on my mind rather than the fact that I'm 41.

I have grown less tolerant of some things and people in the past year (I feel so OLD when I say that, but it is so true). If I see people being overly negative, rude, or just plain mean I'm going to unfriend/unfollow them online and just ignore them in real life. Because life is too short for stupid crap like that.

I have also realized that some things that I thought were "really important" a few years ago are really NOT that important. I do things for ME now...and I don't do them seeking approval from anyone. [Case in point: My blog. I'm writing it for me. If people notice that's great. If they don't, it's their loss].

As I'm journeying through my 40s I have come to the realization that it's not about how many friends you have, it's about how many friends would have your back in a time of need. I know who those friends are and that's really cool.

I've also discovered in the last year that it's not about how much money you make as long as you love what you're doing. Sure, money is nice but being happy doing your job is nicer. I've had bigger paychecks and been miserable. It's much nicer to be appreciated for your work and have fun doing it.

Sometimes it isn't about getting a corner office and having an "important" job title. Sometimes it really is just about loving what you do and doing what you love.

Yeah. I'm 41.
I guess I'm older and wiser, right? 

Oh and one more thing: I'm happy.

And isn't that what it's all about?