Broken toes and bee stings - just another summer weekend

Yeah, it was one of those weekends.
You know, the kind where nothing much happens but a couple things stand out.

Case in point - my broken toe(s).
Yeah, I think (know) I have at least one broken toe.
The 'baby' toe.
You know, that nubby little toe that really has no purpose in life other than to balance out your feet. That one.

A good rule of thumb - don't kick a door frame. Even if it was not on purpose.

I was minding my own business Friday night, just walking into my bedroom and then BAM! it happened. My foot met the business end of the door frame. I crumpled to the floor, screaming expletives the whole way down. It hurt so much I couldn't even cry. In fact, it hurt so much I almost laughed.

Which really makes no sense at all when you think about it.

By Saturday I couldn't walk without pain.
So I hobbled. And limped. And whined about how much it hurt.
And really, you can't do anything for broken 'baby' toe.
The toe won't bend. I can't put any weight on it.
So I wrapped my foot, thereby immobilizing the toe.
It didn't do much other than add to my already impressive limp.

I'm just happy that it's still flip flop season because no other shoes are getting on that foot.

Today at the pool I just sat in the shade, foot throbbing. There was no way I was going to swim near a bunch of people who could stomp on my foot at any given moment.

And then, Emma got stung by a yellow jacket.
Or maybe it was a bee.
She ran over to us, arm held high and said "Mommy! A little bug bit me and it hurts!"

I looked and didn't see anything and then she started to cry. It was that "I'm really in pain and somewhat scared" kind of cry. And then I saw it - a little raised spot under her arm, getting bigger as I stared at it. Emma said it was an 'orange and black' bug and it BIT HER! She was rather unhappy at the little critter. I'm quite certain if I had found the culprit I would have smashed him with my good foot (while wearing shoes, of course).

The pool had no 'bee sting' first aid, so the pool manager whipped up some baking soda paste. Thankfully the stinger wasn't in her arm. After some much needed hugs and a ring pop, the tears stopped and I told Emma that was her very first bee sting. She didn't seem very impressed.

And there you have it - we're the walking wounded over here with broken toes and bee stings. Ah, the joys of a summer weekend.

How was your weekend?

July is almost over - and it's Five Question Friday!

What in the world?!? How is it possible that Monday is the first day of August? I swear July just started. I think the summer is flying by! Better hold on tight!

And now, as I sit here with ice on my foot (I kicked a door frame ... totally by accident .. and might have a broken toe)...let's jump into the five questions for today.

1. Vow renewal ceremonies - yay or nay?
I have to give this one a big YAY! I would LOVE to have a vow renewal next year for our 10th anniversary - at Walt Disney World, of course. I had the privilege to spend some time at the Wedding Pavilion at Disney's Grand Floridian Resort (and see a 'surprise' vow renewal!) and I decided that I NEEDED to do this! Now if only I could convince the husband.

2. What sound(s) annoy you the most?
Snoring. My darling husband whom I love dearly snores loud enough to wake the dead. Every. Single. Night. And it's like nails on a chalkboard to me. I also cannot handle whining.

3. If you had to pick, would you have only all boys or only all girls for kids?
Well, I think I'd say all girls - it's what I have now and I love it.

4. Do you believe in alternative medicine?
Sure. If it works, I say try it. Who's to say that "traditional" medicine is the only way to go?

5. Would you take a family member's children and raise them if they needed it?
Yes. Absolutely.

And there you have it....some rather short answers, but it IS Friday. Who wants to think too much?

Want to join in the fun? Head over to My Little Life!

On the boardwalk....

Dinner at Kouzzina anyone?

Is envy always a bad thing?

Do you ever have one of those days when for a split second or two you really ENVY another person? You envy their job or an experience they're having or a trip they're taking or where they live.

And then you think, "Oh wow. Am I a bad person for feeling this way?"
Envy.
It's one of the seven deadly sins.
It's bad to envy.

Yeah, it's bad.
But I think maybe it's also necessary at times.

Take for example what happened to set this blog post in motion.

I clicked on a Twitter profile and ended up at a blog and thought "Damn. How lucky is so-and-so? They are doing EXACTLY what I wish I was doing. They have a dream job."

And boom! I was hit with the envy bug.
For a moment I was actually ENVIOUS of this person.
And then I stopped and thought "what in the world is wrong with you?!?"
I stepped back and thought about why I went down that road.
It was during the "reflection" portion of my brief fit of envy where this blog post was born.

I thought to myself "Hey self, you have a great life...so what gives?"
Why oh why was I slightly green with envy, even it was just for a brief amount of time?
Why did I let myself want what someone else has?
And I really don't know the answer to that.

Because in all honesty, I have a blessed life.

I have a loving, wonderful husband who puts up with my mood swings, occasional ranting, and obsessiveness about clean counter tops. He loves me even though I'm not as thin as I used to be and I have gray hair and the start of crow's feet. I have two beautiful, amazing, brilliant daughters who are the center of my universe. We live in a beautiful house. We have our health. We make it to Disney World at least once a year. I'm close with my parents and my sister and her family. I don't have much to complain about. I really do have a great life.

And yet, every now and then I feel pangs of envy directed at other people.
I'm not mean or callous about it.
I don't think spiteful things about others.
I don't judge other people or deny them their happiness or question "why them?"

Sometimes envy just rears her ugly green head and there's nothing I can do about it.
And it really is part of human nature.
And maybe it's not all bad.

I think perhaps we need to allow ourselves to feel envy ... just a little bit ... every now and then so we can challenge ourselves to work harder. To be better. If I see someone doing something amazing I might think (as I did the other day) "wow...I could be doing that!" And then I set a plan in motion so that maybe, just maybe, I might actually be doing it someday.

I know in my current work situation I am dealing with a lot of raw emotions on a daily basis and I believe this pang of envy is connected to that.

I know what I don't want to be doing, and I also know what my "ideal" work/blogging/social media experience is - but I need to work on getting there.

So while seeing others who are already "there" might make me a bit envious, it is also giving me the push I need make my dreams a reality.

And for that, I am a grateful.

Wordless Wednesday - You gotta have friends

Thank you for being a friend.

Wisdom on a Wednesday

In March I had the chance to attend an incredible social media "celebration" at the Walt Disney World Resort in Orlando. The three-day Disney Social Media Moms Celebration was chock full of amazing and inspirational speakers, but one stands out in my brain. That person is Rene Syler, the original "Good Enough Mother." Her "words of wisdom" struck a chord with me and have been resonating in my brain ever since. I have been thinking back over the things she said during the past week.

This is what I've been thinking.....

"You may not know what you want to do, but you definitely know what you DON'T want to do" - Rene Syler

I keep repeating this little nugget over and over again, because it is such a loaded statement - loaded with truth and honest feelings. And it describes where I am in my life at this very moment.

As you all know, last week I walked out of HELL and walked back into my life.
That may seem dramatic, but it's so very true.

The Old Job was like my own personal Dementor - a hooded monster that sucked the life and soul out of me, and no amount of chocolate would make it better. Every morning I would put on a fake smile and walk into the office wondering what fresh hell would await me.

And then I did it.
I walked out.

The number of people (including a former coworker who also managed to "escape") who have CONGRATULATED me on quitting is, well, amazing. Not that I EVER doubted my decision...but to be congratulated for leaving a job - that means a lot to me.

Today I am happier, healthier and more focused.
I wake up with a renewed sense of self each morning - I KNOW bigger and better things are out there for me.

I may not know what I want to do, but I knew what I didn't want to do.

"People who make you feel bad have no place in your life." - Rene Syler

Amen.
I will not surround myself with negative people who bully and intimidate because they want to feel powerful.
I refuse.

"Follow your passion because you'll never go wrong." - Rene Syler

My passion.
What is my passion?

My kids are my passion.
Writing is my passion.
Is it wrong to say social media is a passion?
I think not.

So, where do I go from here?
I want to follow my passion - but I'm still looking for that road map.
I want to write - but for whom?
And about what?

Ideally, I would love to do this - exactly what I'm doing right now.
Blogging. Every. Single. Day.
(And yes, I mean blogging AND making a little bit of money doing it).
I am writing what I want to write.
And it makes me happy.

"I want to be able to say 'every day I am happy' when it comes to my job!" - a tweet from yours truly during #DisneySMMoms

Can you say that?
Can you say every day that you are happy when it comes to your job?
Does that seem like a lofty goal?
Does it seem like too much to wish for?
Why?

Shouldn't we allow ourselves to be happy, really truly happy when it comes to our job?

Why do we put ourselves last? I think my happiness is just as important as the next person's. I think we all deserve to be happy. Happy is my new goal.

"You used to be much more muchier. You have lost your muchness." - the Mad Hatter, Alice in Wonderland

I KNOW I was losing my muchness.
It was quietly slipping away, bit by bit, each day as the job sucked the happiness and joy out of me. I didn't want to blog. I didn't want to write. I didn't think I was good enough.

Yes, my 'muchness' was missing.
But, I think I have found it again.

After the heatwave...five question Friday

So, it's Friday night and I just baked some blueberry struesel muffins (baking really is therapeutic, you know) and now I'm trying to amuse myself while the kids watch Nickelodeon and my husband stares at ESPN. Yep, this is the exciting life I lead. :)

For my amusement (probably more than yours), here's Five Question Friday...

1. If your husband had the BIG V and you got pregnant, what would your first reaction be? (For the dudes, what would your first reaction be if your wife told you she was pregnant after the Big V?) OK, I have to admit, this question made me (1) squirm a bit and (2) laugh OUT LOUD. But in all fairness, I will answer. If I got pregnant for ANY REASON at this point in my life I would most likely freak the heck out. And then after calming down, I'd accept it. And then I'd freak out some more.

2. Best memory about this summer so far? Our family vacation to the Walt Disney World Resort in June. It was the most amazing eight days ... from the resort (Beach Club) to the parks (so fun!) to the food (amazing) ... I didn't want to come home. The girls keep asking when we are going back to WDW. I tell them "not soon enough."

3. How often do you change your sheets? Your kids' sheets? I try to do it every week or so. Sometimes it ends up being 10 days. Or two weeks. How embarrassing. Which reminds me...I need to wash the sheets tomorrow.

4. Having just gone through TSA, would you rather have a full body scan or a pat down? Um, I think I'll vote for the full body scan (and have now probably just jinxed myself for the next time I fly to Orlando). I don't want some stranger patting me down in the airport. Save that for the creepy looking dude behind me.

5. Since it is fair time....what is your favorite fair (state or county) memory? See, I used to be a reporter in Bloomsburg, Pennsylvania. And every summer there is a huge county fair in Bloomsburg. And in the summer of 1995 I had to cover the county fair. For two weeks. I even wrote a column about it that focused on all the bizarre things you see at a county fair. I wrote stories about the crazy "carnies" and the odd things they sell. I wrote a story about the mashed potato and Jello wrestling. I had to witness a mashed potato wrestling match. In 95 degree heat. Imagine the smell. And that my dear readers is my, um, favorite fair memory.

If you want to link up to the Five Question Friday fun, check out My Little Life.

Heatwave

Remember in February when I was complaining about the ice and snow and bitterly cold temps?
It was around that time when I swore I would not complain about the heat this summer, because we had nearly frozen solid during the winter.

Yeah well, I lied.
I am now going to complain about this heat.

Right now as I type this at 1:35 p.m., it is currently 98 degrees outside. The heat index is 106. It could get as high as 115 degree heat index.

That is H.O.T.
Fry an egg on the sidewalk hot.

I saw a weather related photo online today ... it said "Satan called. He wants his weather back."
Yeah, it's Hades-HOT out there.

The girls and I have been "trapped" in the house for the last few days because it's too hot to do anything outside. We haven't even ventured to the pool because, well, it's too hot.

Mother Nature, really. Why is this necessary? Why do you feel the need to cook us? Why can't we just have have "normal" summer temperatures for northwest Ohio? You know...like 85 and sunny? That would be much, much better.

It's crazy stupid hot outside and I don't like it one bit.

Wordless Wednesday - Dreaming of a road trip

Oh what fun a road trip would be....

What a difference a year makes

One year ago today I was starting a new job.
A job that seemed to have great promise and potential with what appeared to be a great organization.

I remember interviewing for this job thinking how great it sounded and then when I was offered the job I was ecstatic! I really thought it was going to be something wonderful.

Yesterday, I quit The Job.
And I could not be happier.

What a difference a year makes.

Anyone who reads my blog knows that I've been dealing with a lot of stress and other nonsense at The Job. My former boss was (still is) a bully. The person in charge of our regional office wasn't much better. I had a few "work friends" who supported me, but I also felt like I could only trust a couple people at the office. All in all it was a very toxic, unhealthy place to work.

Last week I started having horrible stomach pains. I couldn't eat. It was a constant pain. And it lasted all weekend. Kevin and I discussed my options and decided it would be in my best interest (physically, personally and professionally) to just walk away. Be done with these people once and for all.

And so, on Sunday afternoon, I drafted my letter of resignation:

I am tendering my resignation from XYZ Organization, effective today July 18, 2011.

I can no longer come into work every day and be confronted by bullying and hostility. Your negative attitude toward me and my position in this organization has been amplified over the past few months, creating a hostile and toxic work environment that is affecting me professionally, personally and physically.

There have been numerous occasions where your actions were not only unprofessional and hostile, but they fall into the definition of workplace bullying. Your communications with me are written in a way that is not only threatening but also creates a sense of intimidation – ‘do this or else.’

My mid-year performance review in February spoke to my leadership with the communications team and my exemplary work with the [organization's] social media accounts, and yet in March of this year, everything changed. I was verbally assaulted by another manager who called me an inappropriate name while I was at the corporate office and at the same meeting you chose to ridicule my need to leave a meeting early so that I could drive nearly four hours home to pick up my daughter at school. You told me it was “stupid” and I needed to decide what was more important. And then in mid-June I was subjected to nearly 45 minutes of verbal intimidation and veiled threats of termination – all based on unsubstantiated stories and false accusations.

I find it very unfortunate that an organization driven by a mission, a promise and, most importantly, a law that speaks about being considerate and caring and respecting others turns a blind eye when directors and managers bully their employees, treating them with a complete lack of respect and total disregard for their feelings.

This organization continues to create an atmosphere of bullying, intimidation and hostility directed not only toward me but also toward other individuals who have experienced the same mistreatment by management. That being said, I refuse to be bullied any longer.

This resignation is effective today and I will be leaving the Toledo office immediately, upon cleaning out my personal items.

Sincerely,
T.C.

I really REALLY wish I could have seen The Bully's reaction when she opened her email and saw this. I think it would have been a priceless moment. I kind of hope it ruined her morning if not her entire day. [And yes, I realize that is probably petty, but trust me when I saw this woman deserves to have a bad day or two. Karma is a bitch and it will come find her eventually. That's all I'm saying.]

As I pulled out of the office parking lot for the last time yesterday morning, it was as if a huge, heavy weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I felt like I could breathe again. I felt relief.

I. Was. Happy.

Yes, things will be a bit 'tight' financially until I find a new job. But a friend pointed out to me that this is a fresh start - I can do anything I want. The world is my oyster. There's a great big beautiful tomorrow....OK, you get the picture.

I am going to refocus on what I want to do and on what is going to make me happy. I am going to spend a bit of time reflecting on what it is that I REALLY REALLY want to do. And then I'm going to work on doing it.

Shop 'til you drop at Lodi Station Outlets

the girls with Chugga Chugga Charlie!

Last weekend I had the chance to attend the VIP Blogger Day at the Lodi Station Outlets in Burbank, Ohio (a bit south of Cleveland), and I have to say...if you've never been there what are you waiting for?!? Yes, there is shopping - lots and lots of shopping at more than 60 stores - but the outlet is also home to two lovely vintage trains that travel around a 2-mile long track. So, it's the best of both worlds - mom gets to shop and dad and the kids can ride the train!

When we arrived at the outlets, we were greeted by @Nikki_S, their great social media coordinator who loaded us up with lunch vouchers (yum!), train tickets, a great swag bag full of so many goodies and ... a gift card to spend at the shops. I have to admit, I felt a bit spoiled!

the goodies

As we were starving after driving since 9:30 a.m. (and hungry kids = cranky kids), we decided to grab some lunch right after we sat for ID pictures as one of our "perks" was VIP train passes good through 2012. You can bet we'll be back to ride the train as my girls loved it.

OK, back to lunch. We ate at the Steam Cafe where everything is homemade and fresh made. I loved the choices - the specials for the day were a taco salad (Kevin's choice) and a "summer salad plate" (my choice). The girls can be a bit picky, but Emma was able to get a peanut butter (no jelly!) sandwich and Olivia had a turkey sandwich with grated cheese, warmed up please. (See, I told you they are they are picky!)

After lunch, I wanted to shop ... but no, the kids (and Kevin) wanted to ride the train. So we hopped on the train and I'm glad we did. I was able to see many of the stores and could decide where I "needed" to go once we were done riding the train.

Finally...it was time to shop! I knew where I wanted to go and had some idea of what I wanted to buy, so we didn't make it to every store but we can always go back. We headed to Justice first because I told the girls they could each spend $20 (yeah, I'm generous like that). Of course, fashion diva Olivia was picking out a whole new wardrobe until I reminded her she only had $20. So, she and Emma decided on a new stuffed animals (because we need more of those in this house!).

The deals in the store were good - the whole store was 40% off, I think. So, after finding a birthday present for my niece and Beanie Babies for the kids, we saved $19.16 (spent $30.54). Not a bad way to start the day.

Next up was Bath & Body Works. Now, I used to shop at B&BW all the time, but it's just so darn expensive anymore and I can't justify spending that kind of money on hand soap. However, the outlet had 75% off many (most) products so I couldn't pass it up. The "wallflowers" were $3.12 each..I mean, c'mon people! Get shopping! Three hand soaps and one wallflower later, I walked out only spending $11.31. Now that's a bargain!

All that bargain hunting made us hungry (again), so we headed over to the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory to use our "free scoop of ice cream" coupons. Mint chocolate chip ice cream is so good on a hot shopping day, that's all I'm going to say. But the chocolates...oh the chocolates. I jokingly said "I'll take one of each"...but I was only partially joking. It all looked so yummy. I promised the kids we'd come back right before we left so we didn't have melted chocolate.

emma, enjoying the ice cream

Olivia decided our next stop was going to be the scrapbook store, Crazy for Scrapbooks. She is a budding "scrapbooker" and she needed some Disney stickers. And I admit, I wanted to grab some more stickers too ... you know, for those TWO Disney vacation scrapbooks I have yet to start! We walked out $21.90 later.

We walked past the outlets for The Gap, Lane Bryant, The Children's Place, Gymboree and more...but we didn't go in. Just know...there are so many great stores at Lodi Station I could have done some serious damage!

Since I'm a sucker for kitchen gadget stores my next stop was the Kitchen Collection. Oh the things I could have bought! But I had a mission - I needed a couple new pans. I have Calphalon pans and for some reason the non-stick has come off...and well, that's gross when you're trying to cook. So, I picked out a set of Paula Deen cookware (they're red which matches my Disney red, white and black kitchen) and they were only $29.99. Bonus here - at this store if we spent $30 or more we could use a $5 coupon! So, I looked around for a few more things and ended up with an iced coffee cup and two sports bottles for the kids. All for $30.86!

Now here's where my "mission" kicked in. I added it up and said "OK, we have $5.39 left to spend...can we do it without 'going over'?"

The answer?
Yes.
Sort of.

By this time the girls were getting tired and hot and cranky...so I decided we would go back to the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory, as promised. The very friendly staff recognized us from our earlier visit and I told them about my "challenge" and they jumped into action. One chocolate chip cookie, one chocolate covered Twinkie and one chocolate covered double marshmallow later we had a total of $5.40! ACK! I was one penny over my "limit"...but never fear, one of the employees said "Oh, we have an extra penny right here" and suddenly I was at my total....$5.39.

And that my friends is the tale of how I spent $100 in a few short hours.

my goodies

Yes, I could have spent much, much more...but we're on a budget and to be honest, we did spend a few extra dollars at the pretzel shop right before hitting the road. But I tell you what, if you're looking for GREAT deals, good food, AND a really cool train ride - head on over to Lodi Station Outlets for a day. It's worth the drive!


Check out Lodi Station on Twitter and Facebook!

Disclaimer: I was invited to spend the day at Lodi Station and we were provided with vouchers for lunch and train rides, VIP train passes, a swag bag of goodies from stores at the outlets and a gift card. The opinions in this blog post are all mine.

Stomach pain and not-so-brilliant doctors

It started Tuesday morning...I had this weird pain in my belly button. "That's odd," I thought and tried to ignore it. Throughout the day the pain would come and go and I just figured it would go away.

My mom said she had pain in the same area last winter and it eventually went away, so I didn't think much of it. I went to bed Tuesday night and it seemed to hurt less.When I woke up this morning I thought "Oh good! The pain is gone."

And then I stood up.
The pain was still there, but it had moved a bit...slightly to the left of my belly button.

Now, when one Googles "belly button pain" you see words like "ulcer," "appendicitis," and "urinary tract infection." None of these are good.

I went to work like a good little worker bee and tried to ignore the dull achy pain in my abdomen. That worked until about 9:30 a.m. And so I called my doctor. Who, of course, doesn't work on Wednesdays. The front desk clerk took my information and said she'd call the doctor and call me back.

I made sure to say "call my cell phone, do NOT call me at home because I'm not home." An hour and a half later (good thing it wasn't a medical emergency) I call the doctor's office again. I tell front desk girl who I am and why I'm calling and she says "Uh huh. And who are you again?" I repeat my name and she proceeds to tell me that she DID call me AT HOME and left a message because I GAVE HER THE WRONG CELL NUMBER. No, you moron...you called the wrong number.

After a bit of back and forth she says she'll call the doctor with my answers to her questions and get back with me. Shockingly, this time my cell number works and she says the doctor thinks I have a stomach virus. "I'm not 'sick'," I say. "Oh it's a virus that doesn't cause vomiting or anything. Just pain. Eat bland food for two days and call us if you aren't better."

WTH?
A stomach virus that ONLY causes pain?
Where did you get your medical degree?
That is a "it's my day off, just tell the patient something to make them go away" kind of diagnosis.

So, it's now 10:50 p.m. and I'm still in pain. And I'm hungry. Which leads me to believe it isn't really a virus. Yes, I did come home from work and sleep for THREE HOURS this afternoon, but I think I was just tired. My own "medical" opinion is that this pain is somehow related to the stress I'm under at The Job.

Which means my job is making me sick.
And I'm not OK with that.

If I'm still in pain tomorrow morning I am calling the doctor and getting an appointment.
Maybe I'll get a doctor's note to quit The Job because it's detrimental to my health and well-being.

Wordless Wednesday - The Beach

ahh......

What it is like to work for a bully

My boss is a bully.
Plain and simple.
There is no other way to phrase it.
She's a bully with a capital "B".
(She's also another word that starts with a capital "B"...but for now we'll stick with Bully).

Six months ago my mid-year review was glowing with praise.
I had "strong communication skills" and it was pointed out that I was "particularly strong in [my] abilities to implement and maintain [the organization's] social media communication. I was told IN WRITING that the boss appreciated my "leadership on the communication team."

What a difference a few months makes.

I have written about my "trials" at The Job ... here, here, here, and here. It's not a secret (at least not to anyone who knows me or reads this blog) that I am no longer happy at work. But, I am still a good employee. I go to work every day and I do my job. And if we're being honest here (I am, as always) ... I am good at my job.

Or so I thought.
Until this morning.
This morning when I opened my e-mail and saw my "Development Plan" for the next TWO MONTHS.

(Yes dear readers...it appears that I have been given two months to "straighten up and fly right" as the saying goes.)

The e-mail went on and on for three very long paragraphs, detailing how there are "performance gaps" and how an "improvement plan" MUST be put in place and what I must do in order to be deemed "successful" by the end of the two months. It was pointed out that "successfully [sic] completion of this plan will demonstrate that you are building the foundation for longer term success." And then she Cc'd two other "directors" in the office...just for good measure, so they are "aware of the expectations." (read: so they can babysit me in her absence).

The best part of the entire e-mail?

This: I am now required to provide her with a written copy of my weekly schedule, and next to each activity I am to document the result of the activity, focusing on what I achieved and the "results should be in relation to [my] accountabilities." I also have to include my "planned activities and results for the upcoming week." But wait, there's more. I then have to call her every Monday morning to discuss my progress and visit the corporate office (a four hour drive away) once a month to have a "face to face opportunity" to discuss my progress.

Apparently I now require a full-time babysitter at the office.
Big Brother is definitely watching ME.

The "development plan" that was attached is unrealistic and is full of unattainable goals. Even if I was superwoman and worked 12 hours a day I could not accomplish the goals she has 'created' - most of which have never been part of my job requirements. And she knows this.

I have been set up to fail.
As one trusted co-worker said to me today..."you have been targeted and you have no hope."

A year ago when I started this job I was excited. I thought I had the chance to make a difference to do something great. That is no longer the case. Now, I am just being pushed around this giant chess board and have to report to this horrible, despicable bully.

The worst part? The organization I work for strives to promote anti-bullying measures. And yet, the women who run this office are all bullies. They belittle people via e-mail and in person. They degrade employees and our job performance, they make us feel worthless.

I found this definition today while searching 'workplace bullying': Workplace bullying is repeated, health-harming mistreatment of one or more persons (the targets) by one or more perpetrators that takes one or more of the following forms - verbal abuse; offensive conduct/behaviors (including nonverbal) which are threatening, humiliating or intimidating; work interference - sabotage - which prevents work from getting done. - from Workplace Bullying Institute.

This sounds a lot like what I have been dealing with for months.

And after a while, after the Bully keeps telling you how horrid you are, you start to believe that you really aren't any good at your job. And maybe people really don't want to work with you. You stop trusting people at the office and you talk in whispers just in case someone might overhear. You start believing that the work you are creating isn't any good.

And that my friends is not fun.
It is very difficult, no...damn near impossible to WANT to do your job.

I'm not a quitter.
I don't quit.
I don't walk away.
But right here at this moment that is what I want to do.
I want to tell them to take their development plan and shove it.
I refuse to be treated this way any longer.
I refuse to feel like I am an untalented, worthless, useless worker bee.
I refuse to be bullied any longer.

My laughing place

Some days all I need to do is look at a photo of the Magic Kingdom and all is right with the world again. Some days it's the small things that make a big difference.

Ten things on Thursday

OK, so you're all visiting my blog and reading about my crazy hectic life and well, I decided to do a little bit of sharing today. (Because, as a blogger I don't quite share enough, right?)

So here's today ten things...you might not know about me.

10. Tailgaters and others with bad traffic manners annoy me.
'Tis true. If I see you tailgaiting me as I'm driving I will slow down. As in, below the speed limit. Just to annoy you. Especially if you can't pass me. I will make you hit your brakes. And if you do it at a red light, I'll be sure to pause dramatically before I go when it turns green. Good rule of thumb - if you see a blue minivan with a Disney family on the back window...back off my bumper.

9. Litterbugs bother me.
This is a new one that I've added to the list due to recent events. Certainly I never held a special place in my heart for people who litter - because honestly, how hard is it to find a garbage can?!? But in the past few days I've seen people literally THROWING GARBAGE OUT THEIR CARS as they are driving. Yesterday, it was a large fast food cup followed by the ENTIRE bag of food. Today, it was a juice box. Just tossed out the window. I really wanted to take photos of their license plates and post them on Facebook and Twitter. But I didn't.

8. I have an unreasonable fear of spiders.
I will walk/run the other way every time I see an eight-legged beast. I scream when I see spiders. I don't care if it's one of those little spiders or a giant oh-my-gosh-where-did-that-come-from monster spider. I. Will. Scream. And make my husband kill it. We don't trap and release in this house. No way. If there's a spider in the house, it is dead.

7. If I had a million dollars....
I would not buy you a house. Sorry. I'd buy me a house. In Florida. And I'd pay off my law school loans. And our credit card bills. And buy an annual pass to Walt Disney World. And do some other fun things too. But first and foremost, I would QUIT MY JOB.

6. I prefer breakfast to all other meals.
True story. My favorite dinner as a kid was pancakes. My mom would only make breakfast for dinner (brinner?) when my dad was out of town. Because my dad didn't like breakfast at dinner. I love making pancakes and/or waffles for dinner. Of course, I love breakfast for breakfast too. Pancakes, waffles, eggs, bacon...it really is the best meal of the day.

5. I don't like sunbathing.
In fact, when we're at the pool, I sit in the shade...only venturing out into the sun for a few minutes at a time. I won't just "lay in the sun" to get a tan. Ick. I prefer the pale look, thank you very much. I think it's because I had 2nd and 3rd degree sunburn when I was 12 and since then I'm very, very overprotective when it comes to being in the sun. SPF 1000 for me please.

4. I don't watch horror movies.
I can't really explain this one - I used to watch them. I remember watching "A Nightmare on Elm Street" and not being too scared. But now? I cannot stomach a horror film. Especially the gory kind. Scary movies (Alien) are OK. But I'm more of a drama/comedy/romance kind of girl, I suppose.

3. I love Twitter.
I've been "on" Twitter since February 2008 and I am in love with it. I love the interaction. I love the connections I make. And I have so many wonderful friends whom I would not know if it wasn't for social media (specifically Twitter). So I send Twitter a valentine every February. It must be love.

2. If I could have any job in the whole wide world...
Um, well...I sort of already have it. I'm a mom to two wonderful, amazing, beautiful girls and that my friends is the BEST job in the whole world. And if I could pick a second job, I would be a writer. Which I guess I am with this blog. So hey....I do have the best job in the world - I'm a mommy and a blogger! #yayme

1. If I was on a deserted island, I would need...
Lip gloss, some books, a toothbrush, my family and access to Twitter.

You gotta have (work) friends....

Today was my "year end self assessment review" at The Job.

Yes, a self assessment.
I had to explain what I thought were my successes and challenges and then The Boss gets to rewrite the whole thing and tell me what SHE THINKS are my successes/challenges.
This should be interesting. We also get ranked on a scale of 1 to 3. "1" meaning you're horrible at your job and "3" meaning you'll be the next CEO.

Anyway...after focusing on my "challenges" (this place always has to focus on the negative), we got down to business.

The Boss asks if I've given any thought to our "conversation" from a couple weeks ago. I say "a little but not much." Which is sort of true. I've been thinking about it a lot ... but what I've been thinking probably shouldn't be repeated in a year end review.

I go on to tell her that I've talked to quite a few people at the office and they all seemed surprised when I ask if they like working with me (or if they just like me as a person). She says "it's not a question of whether or not people like you, the issue is that 'these people' don't want to work with you."

WHAT. THE. HECK.

So I ask who "these people" are. And she dodges the question.
Apparently - according to her - "the people" she's heard from don't want to confront me. Apparently I am terribly intimidating and scare people with the slightest look. HA!

OK...so if you have an issue with someone but have to work with them...wouldn't you walk into their office and say "let's talk"???? Yeah, me too. Which leads me to the conclusion that "the people" are made up, figments of her imagination, a total fantasy. I'm "the bad guy"....OK, whatever. Make me the office villain.

Then she says "we gave you the benefit of the doubt and thought maybe you're just an introvert who likes to work in her office, away from people, with the door closed...you know, maybe you keep people at an arm's length..."

At this point, it's all I can do to not laugh in her face.
Me? An introvert?
Clearly she and the regional director don't know me at all.
I'm so far from being an introvert.
hahahahhahahahaha

Anyway...she continues by telling me that they determined that maybe I'm not introverted, but I "put on an air of negativity" and that turns people off.

Yep, that's me.
A negative introvert.
Ooooh...I'm so scary.....

And now we get to the reason behind the title of this post.
I was told in no uncertain terms that there is NO REASON to have friends at work.
I mentioned that I do have friends at the office and I do like the people I work with and we all get along. And The Boss says "I don't see why you need to have friends at work."

I couldn't even come up with a good response other than "I don't see why you wouldn't want to have friends at work."

(I mean really...I couldn't make this up if I tried. These people are just absolutely inhuman and crazy).

Oh and my "review" ended with "well if you aren't happy here then you shouldn't be here." And my response? "I would have to agree with you."

And yet, here I am.
Still working for the devil's minions.
Still miserable.
Still waiting for the phone to ring with a better job offer.

Because when that day comes I will walk into that office with the biggest smile on my face and say "I quit."

That day can't come soon enough.

Happy 4th of July!

Wishing you a happy (and safe) 4th of July!

When a "sick day" isn't really a sick day

Today I took a sick day from The Job.

I wasn't sick.

In fact, I woke up feeling great because I knew I didn't have to go to The Office.
I felt wonderful.
I wasn't stressed.
The migraine I've been dealing with all week was gone.

I was, in a word, HAPPY.

And yet, I still e-mailed The Boss and said "I'm taking a sick day. Have a great weekend."

Do I feel guilty about taking a sick day when there wasn't anything wrong with me?
Nope.
Not even a little bit.

After all, I AM sick of my office and all the nonsense that has been happening there for months.
That counts, right?
My job makes me sick. :)

So how did I spend my non-sick sick day?

Well...
I took Olivia to her golf lesson and watched her practice her chipping skills.
I ran some errands with my sister.
And, I spent three hours at the pool with my family.
We had a great time swimming, hanging out, eating ice cream.

It was the perfect non-sick sick day.